Meth Is there any reason to quit? Life is going great

[nickland]

I'm 17 have experimented since 16 but it has always been around 3 weeks on then flush down toilet if I can't control myself, I feel like I've finally made it past the honeymoon phase of the drug and I am able to have the benefits without the extreme paranoia, extreme euphoria and adrenergic stimulation - the paranoia was justified as meth was my 3rd drug after weed and alcohol. I always used out of a point to combat lethargy and an inability to focus once fatigued.

I am quite worried about the neurotoxic effects, my working memory may be impaired and my decision making is a bit more impulsive. I feel better energy, mood and focus while on - however, I also notice a lot of time is spent researching steroids and various drugs / harm reduction. Going to start memantine within the week to negate harm towards my brain. I have flushed maybe 3 times, first 2 were followed by depression and cravings the most recent one (2.5 weeks ago) was just a lot of sleeping, absolutely 0 cravings and was going to stay sober however I got hypothyroidism around 3 days after ceasing use and gained 12lbs of fluff weight in 4 days making me look fat, GI issues and intense food cravings. I hopped back on and have been dosing around 55-120mg spaced over 38 hour days followed by 8-14hrs of sleep.

The reason for the usage is also defined by my situation, I graduated high school early and am also doing quite well with college (achieving a 4.0) and am working around 60hrs per week w/ construction under my dad to help support him as its just me and him. I have other hobbies and interests as well including bodybuilding, hang w some friends but the use is hush hush. I have dilated pupils especially in the late hours and early hours of the day, I however mostly act indifferent to the mood boost given and wear sunglasses while at work. Over the time period my parents have made maybe around 3-4 comments saying I am amped up on caffeine or slight variants, I've taken non-stigmatized stimulants (caffeine, moda, etc) within the last two years so I have no clue if they're 100% oblivious to the amphetamine use, my dad for instance has mentioned various workers using meth when he was younger but neither of them have challenged me on grounds of drug use - I think it may have to do with my performance?

I am transitioning towards another bulk after my cut using meth mainly as the driving fat loss agent, after doing harsh calories (1500) for 3 weeks and having my last dose as an IV 150mg (first time) I was launched into hypothyroid-like state and I really am just delaying the inevitable, I will be cycling again in 7 days or so - is there anybody with experience or advice on how to go about coming off or is it better to stay on in your opinion since it is helping with life and just take an NMDA agonist. Thanks

 

[plumbus-nine]

Do you feel you can perform better (mentally, focus, concentration, memory) when on meth? Then you might have undiscovered attention deficit disorder (AD/H/D) and getting a diagnosis would give you access to prescription stims like Adderall or Vyvanse. The benefits of these are legality, coverance by health insurance, and guaranteed quality. Amphetamine is less neurotoxic than meth, and because of the shorter duration your body and brain can regenerate themselves during the night while meth stays in your system 24/7.

Memantine is a good medicine which should help you with slowing down tolerance development and potentiate the meth so you can use less. Don't know whether memantine is neuroprotective on its own though. There's the nootropic, antioxidant emoxypine which protects against dopamine autooxidation which might be the primary method by which stims like meth can be neurotoxic and it alleviates the rebound/crash/comedown.

Btw, let me welcome you to BlueLight!

 

[DeathIndustrial88]

Yes there are reasons.
You are 17. Which means your brain hasn't stopped developing yet. You may also start to get different effects once your older & have been on it long enough. Effects that will only be to your detriment & not beneficial as they might be right now.

Longterm dopamine receptor downregulation is gonna make getting motivated & staying functional even harder.
If you feel you really need it, getting on amphetamine might be a "healthier" option.

You may find that the 'crashes', if you must go through them from time to time, will only get to be more of a pain in the ass & could cause you to have to miss work or not be able to get up for a week.

Doing meth was much easier & "interesting" when I was 17 versus now that I'm 34.
Even if I touch the stuff now, I will feel like crap for an entire week afterward,
Careful mixing crystal & exercising too. I accidentally gave myself rhabdomyolysis from putting my body through too much while dehydrated & using.

Reasons can differ for everyone. You'll have to find your own reasons that you would want to quit & work with that. Nobody can tell you any reasons & expect it to stick. The only way people quit anything is if they really want to, first & foremost.

 

[nickland]

Do you feel you can perform better (mentally, focus, concentration, memory) when on meth? Then you might have undiscovered attention deficit disorder (AD/H/D) and getting a diagnosis would give you access to prescription stims like Adderall or Vyvanse. The benefits of these are legality, coverance by health insurance, and guaranteed quality. Amphetamine is less neurotoxic than meth, and because of the shorter duration your body and brain can regenerate themselves during the night while meth stays in your system 24/7.

Memantine is a good medicine which should help you with slowing down tolerance development and potentiate the meth so you can use less. Don't know whether memantine is neuroprotective on its own though. There's the nootropic, antioxidant emoxypine which protects against dopamine autooxidation which might be the primary method by which stims like meth can be neurotoxic and it alleviates the rebound/crash/comedown.

Btw, let me welcome you to BlueLight!

As much as I wish I was able to take regular amphetamine since I am under the age of 18 my pediatrician is not letting me take any adhd medication unless my parents and a previous teach give detailed writings to favor that opinion, her reason of denial of any adhd was the fact that I am doing fine with schooling as it is. I will definitely have to look into emoxypine for sure, do you have any recommendations on its dosing? Thank you for welcoming me!

 

[nickland]

Yes there are reasons.
You are 17. Which means your brain hasn't stopped developing yet. You may also start to get different effects once your older & have been on it long enough. Effects that will only be to your detriment & not beneficial as they might be right now.

Longterm dopamine receptor downregulation is gonna make getting motivated & staying functional even harder.
If you feel you really need it, getting on amphetamine might be a "healthier" option.

You may find that the 'crashes', if you must go through them from time to time, will only get to be more of a pain in the ass & could cause you to have to miss work or not be able to get up for a week.

Doing meth was much easier & "interesting" when I was 17 versus now that I'm 34.
Even if I touch the stuff now, I will feel like crap for an entire week afterward,
Careful mixing crystal & exercising too. I accidentally gave myself rhabdomyolysis from putting my body through too much while dehydrated & using.

Reasons can differ for everyone. You'll have to find your own reasons that you would want to quit & work with that. Nobody can tell you any reasons & expect it to stick. The only way people quit anything is if they really want to, first & foremost.

Do you think I should buy amphetamine sulphate on the dw instead of methamphetamine? The sleep is my main point of annoyance, I wish I didn't have to keep doing 24-36hrs awake before 12hrs sleeping. With what you mentioned on hydration I actually was just beginning to transition towards 6 grams daily of sodium intake with 4-6L water daily to combat aldacatone fluctuation, dehydration and problems that may arise during high intensity training, do you think it will be enough? Many of my idols as I read growing up such as Mike Mentzer, Yukio Mishima and similar people were users of amphetamines heavily yet didn't seem to have any negative effect on training.

 

[Pissed_and_messed]

Your pediatrics reasoning is blatantly stupid and insufficient.
Anyway, your life has about 100x more stress than I could recommend to anyone. Even if it doesn't feel like stress. I'd advice to significantly cut it. Don't mess up your endocrine system, stims particularly do it easily. They are very hard medicines/drugs. All the work and bodybuilding is significant too.

If you feel hard about it for other people, do you feel like someone could feel hard about it if you got yourself into trouble for that?

 

[Nurse Ratched]

Great. Another 17 year old guy that has his whole life ahead of him and is already posting that IV'ing meth is in his near future.

Please don't come back in 6 months posting that you have lost everything near and dear to you and derailed your future. Or that you caught a charge. Or that something worse happened.

I know you think that you have everything under control and aren't seeing the negatives yet and I hope you never do.

 

[Pissed_and_messed]

Please don't come back in 6 months posting that you have lost everything near and dear to you and derailed your future. Or that you caught a charge. Or that something worse happened.

but if that's gonna happen, do it anyway.
yeah I am kinda worried too about you nickland. I was also workaholic once. And I am still addict.

 

[plumbus-nine]

Do you think I should buy amphetamine sulphate on the dw instead of methamphetamine? The sleep is my main point of annoyance, I wish I didn't have to keep doing 24-36hrs awake before 12hrs sleeping. With what you mentioned on hydration I actually was just beginning to transition towards 6 grams daily of sodium intake with 4-6L water daily to combat aldacatone fluctuation, dehydration and problems that may arise during high intensity training, do you think it will be enough? Many of my idols as I read growing up such as Mike Mentzer, Yukio Mishima and similar people were users of amphetamines heavily yet didn't seem to have any negative effect on training.

Yeah, amphetamine will have a better safety profile with long term use than meth and is less/not neurotoxic but also has a bit of a different profile. I was prescribed dextroamphetamine sulfate for long time and had no problems while meth caused depression when stopping it after just a week or two together with messing up my sleep and I was using low dosages.

I can only agree to the other posters here who are worried about you given your age, I myself was in a similar situation where I thought, why should I stop when life is going great - it was with dissociatives, not stimulants, which have different downsides but the reality was that I was lying to myself to continue my habit when it already had serious impact on my life.

 

[nickland]

Great. Another 17 year old guy that has his whole life ahead of him and is already posting that IV'ing meth is in his near future.

Please don't come back in 6 months posting that you have lost everything near and dear to you and derailed your future. Or that you caught a charge. Or that something worse happened.

I know you think that you have everything under control and aren't seeing the negatives yet and I hope you never do.

I definitely understand your concerns, the IV use was discontinued shortly after and I am perfectly content with oral and nasal ROA. IV use was done to end the pipeline of ROA but it is overall nasty, the drug itself is generally quite nasty but it's all that I really have. I do not mean to deprecate or dismiss my capabilities however I do believe that working 60hrs, 20hrs school and my other hobbies stacked on top would be devastating to my social life without amphetamines. I am also on PEDs, I am very closely monitoring BP and will be getting bloodwork regularly.

In the best possible scenario I would be able to find a psychiatrist willing to give me low dose amphetamine (10-20mg is sufficient), maintain low dosage and low risk PED usage while keeping an eye out on health markers. Is there anything you think I'm missing? I have absolutely no connections to drug culture so maybe you can see patterns I can't, like I said meth was done as my third substance after weed & alcohol, nobody really to rely on irl.

 

[Pissed_and_messed]

I do not mean to deprecate or dismiss my capabilities however I do believe that working 60hrs, 20hrs school and my other hobbies stacked on top would be devastating to my social life without amphetamines

Someone wrote some time ago somewhere here something like "sometimes you just need it to be what it is, even if it is shitty".

It definitely wasnt like that but good enough for me.

And that's not maybe 1:1 adequate for your situation, I hope it isn't, but I wish you benefit of it.

 

[Pissed_and_messed]

20 mg amphetamine daily is sort of safe if it stays on that, but not always healthy. Infinitely better than 3xmeth

 

[Pissed_and_messed]

But if you have had issues with your thyroid or anything, I'd do anything to reset. And it can take long time of rest.

 

[Pissed_and_messed]

Is there any way you could take break of all your stuff?

 

[nickland]

but if that's gonna happen, do it anyway.
yeah I am kinda worried too about you nickland. I was also workaholic once. And I am still addict.

I have managed in the past without, and when I have less of a physical burden on me there is no reason to be taking amphetamines. Prior to the heavy hours my dad has given me to help him reach his goals I was able to study 10-12 hours in deep focus around 6x weekly, I was able to read 2-3 books within a day and still have the energy to go out into life. Home situation kind of sucks w/ boredom, older brother is gone and parents have kept me at home in social isolation for the better part of 8 months because they refuse to co-sign on a cheap car, in converse my brother has never held a job longer than 2 weeks and has average academics yet was given a car at 16 and given free university while I was held back at the house to help with work (we are in the same grade now). I am actually completely convinced that they know of my use, I can see my fucking pupils and only last week they received a letter on my package of vials getting seized and mentioned nothing but 3 or 4 words saying I was lucky they only sent a letter, etc..

I think its a workers relationship at this point. I work hard labour and am payed .50c less than minimum wage up until last week where I was given a $2 raise after 6 months of working, don't get paid on overtime and sometimes am not even payed on the weekends but I refuse to confront them considering I don't see them as a monetary exchange. He's netting $300K/yr between only me and himself so he weighs on me heavy to do shit, everything is about going to work getting home doing my homework and sleeping by 9:00. I already know how its going to play out, by the time I turn 18 they hold the leverage. I live under their roof, he gives me my paycheck and just might control my car payment - they have stated previously that if they feel like it my door will come off, there will be no back talking, etc.. Most of this comes from my mom who has always been the opposite of me: complacent, sedentary, feminine, etc.

Nearly all drug use has been fueled by extreme social isolation, I don't even enjoy substances. I have never felt the need to binge on benzos, drink more than once a month, smoke weed, etc.. I found myself around a month ago of a gram of heroin that I bought one night, I was completely disgusted and threw it away when I opened it. I don't even know why I do this shit to myself half the time but there is nothing to look forward to anymore, I don't even lift at the gym anymore I don't see people my age anymore and am also on online self-paced classes.

 

[nickland]

Is there any way you could take break of all your stuff?

Yeah I figured my thyroid is fucked but I will gain a lot of fluff weight, I have seen on bodybuilding forums some guys who are emacieted from addiction blowing up in water retention and fat/muscle from lowered metabolic rate but it is temporary until functions presume. Right now I am off of gear but preparing a blast of steroids because I am going to significantly lower amphetamine dosage and do not want to gain too much unwanted fat while gaining.

 

[Pissed_and_messed]

Oooof, well, I wish shit will roll out for you some way. That's lot of stuff. No wonder you do meth.

That's little too much for me to give any advice. Best I can offer is empathy.

 

[nickland]

Oooof, well, I wish shit will roll out for you some way. That's lot of stuff. No wonder you do meth.

That's little too much for me to give any advice. Best I can offer is empathy.

I'll see the other side regardless, I just don't think there is any other way to go about it sadly maybe some harm reduction can help. I appreciate the empathy, I wasn't trying to get pity I just overshare too much on amphetamines sorry haha

 

[nickland]

Maybe in reflection life isn't going so great but according to the circumstances I'm given I think I am doing ok so far

 

[Nurse Ratched]

I definitely understand your concerns, the IV use was discontinued shortly after and I am perfectly content with oral and nasal ROA. IV use was done to end the pipeline of ROA but it is overall nasty, the drug itself is generally quite nasty but it's all that I really have. I do not mean to deprecate or dismiss my capabilities however I do believe that working 60hrs, 20hrs school and my other hobbies stacked on top would be devastating to my social life without amphetamines. I am also on PEDs, I am very closely monitoring BP and will be getting bloodwork regularly.

In the best possible scenario I would be able to find a psychiatrist willing to give me low dose amphetamine (10-20mg is sufficient), maintain low dosage and low risk PED usage while keeping an eye out on health markers. Is there anything you think I'm missing? I have absolutely no connections to drug culture so maybe you can see patterns I can't, like I said meth was done as my third substance after weed & alcohol, nobody really to rely on irl.

I'm just an old lady that hates to see todays youth getting mixed up in the meth culture. Nothing good can come from it . Yeah sure you have energy and work lots of hours and have a good time on it.........I get it. And understand it.

After I have read almost 19,000 posts on here from people in misery that are trying to quit stims......and can't for the life of them put them down........I just get really concerned when I read about another 17 year old getting caught up in it. Just stay safe and try and not to get so caught up in it to where you can't wake up one morning and function without stims. If you lose your hook up or can't find any one day it won't be fun anymore. You will be sitting there thinking what the fuck have I done. I need stims to live. Just be aware that most people that get on meth or any other stim can;t work, go to school, or do any other daily responsibility without it.

It's kind of true with any drug but stims seem to get a really hard hold on people and they can't give it up.