• HEALTH & RECOVERY
    Welcome Guest
    Posting Rules Bluelight Rules Thread Directory 1 Thread Directory 2
    Mindfulness Links Addiction & Mind
    Sober Living Partner Program (SLiPP)
  • H&R Moderators: streaM Freak

Is the only way out death?

Green Bean

Green Bean

Bluelighter
Joined
Sep 6, 2015
Messages
95
Location
UK
I know this sounds dramatic. But I just can't see me being able to quit unless I'm dead. Twenty maybe more years of opiate abuse. I'd love to be out and not use anymore. But he withdrawls are so horrendous. Anyone else feel like this? P.S. I'm not suicidal :-)
 
Moved from Homeless.

I'm sure a lot of people who are suffering from substance abuse often may think the only way is death. Can you not get yourself into a treatment program so the WD's are not as bad or at least you have a support group.
 
My doctor was useless. Just wanted to prescribe more stuff. Been to NA a few times. It didn't really click for me. If I could get over the worst of the wd's I could maybe do it.
 
Green Bean sorry to hear about your opiate troubles sister ;).

Have you ever heard of Ibogaine?

You could also try subutex/bupe or methadone. I would steer clear of the done but some find it makes their lives more manageable. If you go with methadone try and keep your dose under 40 mg and keep your bupe dose under 4 mg as well. They dose that stuff way too high IMO. You might be able to taper with something mild like kratom too, which if you have a habit wouldn't give you a buzz just keep your withdrawals at bay.
 
Jammin83, I wish I were controlled enough to taper but I end up necking everything in a one then off to score more.
On one hand, I hate my life and the way this shit controls me. On the other, can't imagine how I'd survive without being pilled up to the eyeballs every single day.
Just can't win man. :/
 
Well green bean, sometimes its just a matter of giving that addiction the middle finger ya know? Sure, you will have hellacious withdrawals and PAWs for a while. Freedom is worth that though sometimes. At least you haven't died yet in 20 years of opiate addiction. Get yourself some comfort meds, lyrica/gabapentin, tenex/clonadine, some benzos or phenibut and push on through. Yeah, it's gonna suck, but you just need to push on through. It takes courage but I think you have it in you.

You then have to deal with why you used so much. Maybe a therapist could help. Sobriety is a bit more than what some would make it. It can seem like you have to just live without but on the other hand, it's living a great life without the chains. Its not easy, but we can deal with a lot more than we give ourselves credit for. Get some punk rock attitude going and say fuck this shit. This aint me and I don't want it anymore.

Much love.
 
The twisted bit is that I very rarely get off on this shit anymore. I use it to just survive. How fucked is that? I need to give this some serious thought. Cheers jammin83. Hopefully thought will lead to action.......haha
 
I used to feel the same way man. Eventually if you stay alivs you will get bored with opiates. Once I got bored and got on methadone staying away from the needle and heroin became easy.
 
Crimsonjunk, sick of the constant need to chase for it every single day. Just....enough already, you know?
 
Last edited:
I know the feeling but you need to get that kick to want to quit. Think of how nice it would be to never have to think about drugs again and just live your life. That is what made me finally quit. Everytime I wanted to relapse I just remembered that freedom that I wanted. There is an end to the horrible withdrawals and you will start to feel powerful for quitting. You have to want it though.
 
I visited dr for help....he was useless. Couldn't understand how I got hooked in the first place. 'How could that be possible? ' were his words.
I sound defeatist. Maybe I am.
 
Idk im in the same boat. 6 years of addiction and im 25 and its not the early withdrawals that get me, but when im in them i start thinking about how much i fucked up my brain and the amount of time it would take to get back to nornal or the old me seems like such a tedious daunting task that i cant even fathom life after opiates. The way time drags, going to work without opiates?!?! Impossible. Possible years of regular mundane torturous life where nothing is fun again i just cant comprehend it. It literally seems impossible.

But there is the tiny tiny sliver of hope that one day i can be the son my father hoped for a deserves. Instead of this junkie failure. But each day it slips further away and i see no way out.

To sum it up, your not alone and i feel for you because i view it the same way. Just know there are others living the exact struggle as you my friend
 
Green Bean said:
I visited dr for help....he was useless. Couldn't understand how I got hooked in the first place. 'How could that be possible? ' were his words.
I sound defeatist. Maybe I am.
Click to expand...

Try going to a Suboxone doctor. :)

In my experience 6 years ago, the doctor I saw was very understanding and did not ask questions or made statements which made me feel bad.

You have to try to find a doctor that works well with you.
 
Captain.Heroin said:
Try going to a Suboxone doctor. :)

In my experience 6 years ago, the doctor I saw was very understanding and did not ask questions or made statements which made me feel bad.

You have to try to find a doctor that works well with you.
Click to expand...

Just wondering what do you do when no matter what dose the suboxine dose nothing for the cravings.

How can suboxone help your brain get back to normal (before opiate addiction) if your still technically on an opiate? Im just wondering if there is science behind it. Like doesnt it take a long time abstaining from opiates to get back to how you use to be? (If even possible) i was still given fake enegy on suboxone and i don't see how your brain can heal while on Suboxone.

If your brain can go back to normal on suboxone id give it another go and i would love to hear that im wrong i just dont see how its possible. I understand it helps stabalize life but im more interested on how to be the person i was before opiates and not just the stabalization part of it. Hopefully you understand me.

Thanks
 
Yeah, don't let one doctor put you off.
Lots of General Practitioners don't deal with addiction at all well, and will see you as a drug-seeker rather than a vulnerable human looking for help.
Withdrawing cold turkey is a daunting and scary prospect - but it isn't the only way; with a good taper, the right comfort meds and a certain determination, you most certainly can break free of opiate dependence.
I have managed to do so with really minimal discomfort - motivated by the diminishing returns associated with using that you are also experiencing - and the considerable cost of maintaining a habit (in terms of health, finances, wasted time, livinng a double life etc etc etc - too much junkie business, you know).

I used for a decade, and for many years felt the same way as you - i'll either live with this 'til i die, or i'll have to go through unimaginable hell to get out of it alive - but i sought help from a drug and alcohol clinic that offered both inpatient and outpatient detox support.
With their help i tapered and jumped off at a fairly low dose - it was nowhere near as bad as i anticipated.
I didn't want to go down the maintenance path (i figured i'd been basically 'maintaining' for years) but suboxone/methadone do save lives; even if it is just a first step to break you out of the 'habit' and ritual of copping and getting a fix.

There are plenty of options - opiate addiction is amongst the best understood of addictions in terns of treatment, you just need to find the right doctor/clinic/support network.

Edit - in response to your question above (which i didnt see until after i posted this reply) - suboxone is more about breaking you out of some of the behaviours and risks associated with using dope. It doesn't 'help your brain get back to normal' - but it can be a stepping stone to getting your life back to normal.

Personally, i found low doses of suboxone to be a perfect drug to taper with - the potency and long halflife of buprenorphine meant that i was able to do a rapid taper (of known pharmaceutical dosages) which made the transition to from opiated to opiate-free so much less painful.
 
Last edited:
Green Bean said:
Quick question for you guys....should my first port of call be my doctor? ?
Click to expand...

I would find a Suboxone doctor

nygiants1313 said:
Just wondering what do you do when no matter what dose the suboxine dose nothing for the cravings.

How can suboxone help your brain get back to normal (before opiate addiction) if your still technically on an opiate? Im just wondering if there is science behind it. Like doesnt it take a long time abstaining from opiates to get back to how you use to be? (If even possible) i was still given fake enegy on suboxone and i don't see how your brain can heal while on Suboxone.

If your brain can go back to normal on suboxone id give it another go and i would love to hear that im wrong i just dont see how its possible. I understand it helps stabalize life but im more interested on how to be the person i was before opiates and not just the stabalization part of it. Hopefully you understand me.

Thanks
Click to expand...

Suboxone helps addicts as it is a partial agonist. It doesn't fully activate the receptor like heroin does. For some people, the cravings will not go away by using Suboxone, and these patients may need methadone or a different treatment plan, like in-patient.

I would go into deeper scientific detail, but I'm pressed for time.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top