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Is Suicide Actually Selfish

bennyZA

bennyZA

Bluelighter
Joined
Apr 19, 2009
Messages
1,495
Location
A little cutty cove in the Northern Pacific.
I honest to god think I would rather not be here. Point blank. If I wrote down my life story and put it in a hat with other people's, and we had to choose who to kill... let's just say it would not be a hard decision. When I was in a coma for a few days and came back, all I wanted to do was go back. Being "dead" was more enjoyable than being alive, at least it is to me. I feel it is my own "selfish" family and friends who wanted me to survive not because they truly cared about me getting better but simply because they didn't want to be known as the people who had the relative who killed themselves. As soon as I was out of the hospital you think they gave two shits about me? Do others know where I'm coming from?
 
It's never constructive to call a suicidal person "selfish." It just does not make the situation any better at all.

A lot of suicidal people have such low self-worth that they actually think that they are doing the world (and those around them) a service by removing themselves from the equation. They see it more as a selfless act than a selfish one.

It sounds to me like what's going on is that your family feels a sense of failure if you are suicidal, for it means that they failed to raise you "properly" in their eyes. I don't think it's so much just them not wanting to gain some type of reputation.
 
I don't think it's selfish at all.

Some people, myself included, live their life with incredible pain. Pain many simply don't understand. If a person wanted to end their life because they could not live with this pain any longer, who is to say it is selfish? If a person genuinely believes they would be happier not living, then suicide gives me relief for them knowing they are in a better place.
 
I am so sorry that you're feeling the way you are. I've been there several times. I'm not going to say that i know exactly how you feel, because I don't. I'm not you. But I have experienced excruciating emotional pain like you are describing.

I don't think suicide is selfish, but that doesn't mean you should end your life either..I don't know your age or circumstances, but I'm sure you have at least ONE thing keeping you going, no? PM me if you need support and I'll be more than willing to help you.

Sometimes I think it's selfish for family members to tell the suicidal person that they are selfish because they don't want to see them go. They don't want to have to deal with the guilt or deal with the pain...which on their part is selfish.

Please, don't go through with killing yourself. I know I'm only some girl on a message board probably thousands of miles away from you and we don't know each other, but I know what you may be feeling and I know it's a terrible feeling. If you really dig deep inside of yourself you may find you have things worth living for. Your favorite food, your best friend, a pet, great memories that you have yet to make, etc.

Like I said earlier, please PM me if you want someone to vent to, talk to, or additional support.
 
I don't think it's selfish at all.

If I had killed myself when I was 10, the one time I contemplated ending it, I would have spared so many people the pain. I don't really enjoy life, and it bores the hell out of me so much, that it is almost unbearable how bored of life I am. If I were to kill myself now, it wouldn't be out of depression or pain, it would be representing how pointless I believe life really is.
 
Dude, I can totally relate to how u r feeling. I don't know your circumstances but here were mine..
I've been depressed as long as I can remember and have contemplated and unsuccessfully tried numerous times. When my parents found out, that's all that would come out of my dad's mouth was how selfish it/I was. . A good friend of ours did a year ago, and again that's all he said.

I totally disagree w/ suicide being selfish.. And let me state I'm not saying you should.. I think that its not selfish @ all.. When our coping mechanisms just don't cut it anymore, that's when suicide happens.. I can honestly say, I can see myself dying by my own hand. Not that atm I'm not suicidal, but I can see it..

Anyways man, I'm sorry you're feeling so low.. Also pm me, if u like.
 
J.Wallace said:
I don't think it's selfish at all.

Some people, myself included, live their life with incredible pain. Pain many simply don't understand. If a person wanted to end their life because they could not live with this pain any longer, who is to say it is selfish? If a person genuinely believes they would be happier not living, then suicide gives me relief for them knowing they are in a better place.
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I think we are on the same page. I'm in so much pain, soooo much. I didn't really try killing myself, I just took too many painkillers until I... od'd. However when I look back at it, it's sorta obvious that I should have known better, and subconsciously I was being self destructive. Not one doctor looked at how much of each substance was in my system and actually thought it was recreational / medical.

One of the things that bothered me the most was how many friends laughed at me, calling me an idiot. Or how many of my friends called me an asshole. I can understand - maybe - from their perspective how they might feel like they're the victim... but isn't that even more selfish! Most of these people just tell you it's going to get better, and to "buck up" or something to that extent.
 
Wow, you had friends that called you stupid for trying to end your life? I think you need to find new friends.

I think that both the person committing suicide (or attempting to) is selfish and so are the people that don't want the person to die. But I use the word selfish without judgement. By selfish I mean that in both cases people are wanting to avoid pain. That is human nature.

Having said that, I also know that many people are alive and living lives they could never have imagined at their lowest point because they worried that the pain their death would cause would destroy their loved ones lives. That is a kind of selflessness that touches on the divine in each of us I think. People who feel suicidal are in extreme emotional pain and they should never be blamed or shamed for they feelings. But to be able to shoulder on for the sake of others creates a new dimension to the self which can actually strengthen the person suffering.

I am in the last quarter (I hope!) of my life. My attempts at suicide and my hopelessness occurred in the first quarter of my life. I am so glad that I did not succeed, that I lived to see the amazing things life had in store for me. Life has not been a bed of roses and I have suffered through things I could never have imagined that were horrible as well, but I feel very grateful for every day. I know that this is easier now that I am older but it was the turning point in my life when I was young when I realized that I could create myself exactly how I wanted to be. Make it a project. Create the self you want. It takes your whole life but the process is life and you will be living to the fullest. <3
 
you should try everything in the world before you kill your self. Try changing you life, if you get to the point where you have tried everything and your still feeling like killing your self well thats is different. But I mean if you addicted to drugs, try quitting, If your single meet a girl, if you have shitty friends get new ones, if you havn't seen a doctor then go see one.

I mean try shit and try shit and try shit untill something works and gets better.
 
bennyZA said:
^^^^
Yea... that's the problem is that I've been prevented from creating the self I want, the ability was robbed from me. Oh, and yes, I did get new friends.
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Is whatever it was that robbed you of your ability too private to share? I'm sorry for whatever it is that made you feel this way. I can't really imagine what could make you feel that you don't have the ability to create yourself. No pressure to expand on that if you don't feel like it---I'm just trying to think of what could ever make me feel that way and I am drawing a blank.
 
^^
Fuck it, none of you know me... although I might be surprised. I was a shy kid in high school, then really blossomed in college, but early on in college I was diagnosed with a form of epilepsy which has a mortality rate of about 50% by 50 years old. I have to take harsh meds to control it, and one time I had a never ending seizure and shattered my knee, broke both my shoulders and tore several ligaments and tendons. Over that last 3 years I've had one surgery after the other, with little success. Basically my job is to see doctors... and I'm in soo much pain and I can't get pain meds, despite being in so much pain, because I abuse them and my doctors know it. I can't really walk, it's difficult for me to use my arms other than for mundane tasks (and I used to be really into hiking and back packing as well as playing hockey), and the epilepsy meds are eating me up. The side effects are terrible.
 
^God, no wonder you're pissed man. In answer to your question, I personally don't think that suicide is selfish at all. I've known a LOT of suicide victims over the years, and just think that it's so sad they couldn't find any other way to sort their issues.
I think xxsickness gave good advice^^
 
xxsicknessxx said:
you should try everything in the world before you kill your self. Try changing you life, if you get to the point where you have tried everything and your still feeling like killing your self well thats is different. But I mean if you addicted to drugs, try quitting, If your single meet a girl, if you have shitty friends get new ones, if you havn't seen a doctor then go see one.

I mean try shit and try shit and try shit untill something works and gets better.
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Wise words. Life is a 1only ticket don't waste it before at least trying your best to enjoy it
 
I'm not sure if suicide is selfish but I've had friends who did kill themselves by their own hand and the creepy part was that they both did it in the same method, in/around the same place, and at/around the same time of year.

I have been suicidal in the past or I would think about it but I never attempted it. Since I have seen what happened when friends of mine did it and the aftermath of how everyone was literally destroyed by it I will never do it, and since my friend killed himself last November around Thanksgiving when I get sad or depressed I don't think of suicide or self harm the way some people will think about it but won't want to act on it.
 
Yea... I'm not suicidal... Lets put it that way. The main reason being that I know how awesome life CAN be. I'm just feeling like it wont be like that again. More importantly I think of how messed up it is for other people, to clean up your mess and how devastating it is to them. You know, I feel like I can't put my parents through that, I love them too much. I think I wouldn't kill myself for that reason alone.
 
when society puts lables like that on something as sad as suicide it really only distastes there loving memory and taints the waters of what we should be looking at and that. and that is that someone felt that that was their only way out from the emotional abyss they were in at the time. all we can really do is feel compassion for that person and wish it had been different and that we didnt lose another great spirit to the world. But to answer your question no I dont think its selfish at all. If you need to talk about anything fel free to pm me I hope is all is well with you <3 stay strong
 
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I think its totally selfish since your aren't thinking of the lives your destroying. They suffer more than you can imagine. If you don't care, that's selfish in my opinion.
 
Not singling you out. Just my opinion on the people that could be hurt. If you have no family what so ever them so be it.

There is too many people in the world as there is.
 
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