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Is not wanting kids just a phase, typically?

In response to the observation that stupid people have more children, I found some data that confirms it:
Utah has the country's highest fertility rate, youngest median age of first marriage, according to 2005 US census data
Historically, Utah's fertility rate -- the number of live children to which a woman will give birth from the time she is 15 until she is 44 -- has been as high as 4.3, recorded back in 1960. It now stands at about 2.64, according to the most recent figures available. That is higher than the national average of 2.0.
San Francisco, on the other hand, has the nation's lowest birth rate and one of hte highest levels of education. I saw the actual number for the san francisco birth rate and it was well below 2, but i can't remevber the exact number.
If these trends continue, the human race will go down hill fast.
 
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LiveIllegal said:
...there is something absolutely awe-inspiring about human life and the love of family, and I am eternally grateful to my parents for raising me. I disagree that a child would be "another unnecessary human" in this world. My child would be my greatest joy, an extension of myself, who will share my unconditional love and that of my wonderful family.
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I agree wholeheartedly with this part of your post. I knew I always wanted to have kids, but I also knew that I didn't want to have them YET for a long time. I'm 32 and I'm still giving myself a few more years. It absolutely annoys me when various people ask me when I plan to get married or "raise babies" and when I tell them "oh, probably when I'm 35 or above" they immediately go into this semi-sympathetic, urgent tone telling me I might be too old, it will be difficult to give birth, i should enjoy my children while I'm young etc etc.

STFU. I know my body, and I know what and when I want something. I'm
thankful for modern technology these days that makes it possible for women to bear children in their late 30s or even their early 40's with as much medical care and supervision as possibly needed, as compared to say two decades ago when it was considered high-risk.

I have a lot of respect for people who know what they want, and choose to stick by it (a lot of people in this thread ! ) whether its having kids right away, postponing having them until later, or never having them, and respecting others who may think differently as well.
 
I dunno - with respect to the OP I think it's probably subjective. TBH I never gave it much thought & I suspect over the course of time most people don't really give it that much thought.

Seems to happen naturally usually.
 
It's not a "phase" if U rationally don't want kids, I don't blame U. The only thing that would change my mind is if Babylon fell (billions died) and kids were needed in the community. (I can't have kids anyway.)

I doubt you'll change your mind if U think rationally about it. Will your children curse U for bringing them into this hell-hole? (Maybe if U live in Australia or New Zealand but mosta Europe and the U$A is Babylon!)
 
mariacallas said:
I agree wholeheartedly with this part of your post. I knew I always wanted to have kids, but I also knew that I didn't want to have them YET for a long time. I'm 32 and I'm still giving myself a few more years. It absolutely annoys me when various people ask me when I plan to get married or "raise babies" and when I tell them "oh, probably when I'm 35 or above" they immediately go into this semi-sympathetic, urgent tone telling me I might be too old, it will be difficult to give birth, i should enjoy my children while I'm young etc etc.

STFU. I know my body, and I know what and when I want something. I'm
thankful for modern technology these days that makes it possible for women to bear children in their late 30s or even their early 40's with as much medical care and supervision as possibly needed, as compared to say two decades ago when it was considered high-risk.

I have a lot of respect for people who know what they want, and choose to stick by it (a lot of people in this thread ! ) whether its having kids right away, postponing having them until later, or never having them, and respecting others who may think differently as well.
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Trying telling someone who has kids that you have no interest in having them at all. :\

I wish people would be more respectful of others' decisions. Just because I've been in a relationship for 6 years and I have a uterus doesn't mean that I plan on getting married any time soon or having kids.

I don't get it sometimes. I wonder why people ask this, aside from it being beaten into our brains that it's what we are "supposed" to do.
 
I really want to raise a life and not just because its what you are supposed to do or any of that bullshit thinking or anti thinking. I know this world is fucked up and I'm ready for the machine to swallow us up at any time. We don't live in a Utopian society and many of us will never even come close to seeing that. Most other animals mate no matter what, but humans have the choice on whether or not we want to continue to bring life onto this planet. I also recognize that manifesting art is also a form of creating alternate forms of life. That is a beautiful thing and I wholly respect that choice. However, I want to do as much as possible to help this planet and as well as creating art I also feel compelled to take on the challenge of helping to bring an inspired and conscious being into this world.

I do have some stipulations for having children though. First is community--I live in Orange County and can't even walk out of my house without someone rolling by in a destructo gas guzzling SUV with bright ass fucking lights who looks at me and judges me based on my appearance. This place drives me absolutely crazy and I plan to fly the coop some day soon, but for now this is my home and I'm trying to make the best of it. But I certainly don't want any children I bring into this world to have to start dealing with the absurdity of this culture before they have the emotional tools necessary. We live in an extremely overstimulating environment and all early childhood development theories point out that too much stimulation too early causes damages unseen. I'm not implying that I want to raise my kid in a secluded forest in a commune where midwifes will rub my belly for days on end, but I at least want some semblance of peace and privacy and to have a common thread of respect and reverence for individuality running through my community.

Secondly) is of course my own health and emotional maturity, which at this point I haven't fully taken responsibility for and I acknowledge the fact that I have a lot of work to do. Third) Finally I have found a loving and responsible partner who wants to have children some day and we both agree on how we'd want to raise them, where, and when. I hope that I have many more years and happy days with this man if we choose to go down that path together. Both his parents and mine had children pretty much right away and we don't want to go down that road, so we try to be extremely conscious and intentional with our actions.

I do not just want to be a mama. I want to be a very strong woman with a deeply committed partner who are both confident in making strong decisions and agree that the most important thing about raising our children together is to raise strong and conscious individuals who are not afraid to be themselves and care in a world so full of drones and machines ready to break you down and digest your parts at any moment that most humans born today are fed directly into the mouth of the beast without their parents even realizing it. Just being a good person and raising good people is not enough. I'd rather see warriors like myself raising children rather than backing away into our intelligent well read corners and letting the herd continue the cycle of enslavement. I may sound idealistic to some, but I know I have the power and the choice to manifest this future.
 
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I think those are very good reasons and goals you've established for having children. But for me, kids just aren't for me. I don't dislike kids. I just never see them in my future.
 
let's just all keep in mind, it is the fundies and the welfare mamas who are breeding at a rapid rate.

please for the love of mankind, smart ones, get out there and adopt or shoot one out, either way, do something for our future ;)

as facetious as this post is, it is also entirely and sadly true.
 
Unfortunately I have addictions and mental illnesses and while I'm currently happy to be alive, I could not in good conscience bring a child into the world due to the risk that they could be burdened with the extreme sufferring that I've endured.

Due to the amount of mental health problems in my family, I'm certain that at least some of my conditions have been genetically inherited. It would be selfish in the extreme to willingly pass that kind of pain onto another. I'm not even at the point where I can in good conscience burden a partner with my problems, let alone a child.

Sorry for the gloom and doom, that's just the way I feel.
 
I never wanted kids until my internal clock went off and I needed to have a kid. Until then, I wanted nothing to do with kids.
 
no. Its not a phase.

I have NEVER wanted kids and known it since I was 12 years old. I got a vasectomy for a x-mas present a few years back and it was one of the best presents I ever gave myself.

Kids...Um, NO THANKS. I rather have a dog.
 
DarthMom said:
let's just all keep in mind, it is the fundies and the welfare mamas who are breeding at a rapid rate.

please for the love of mankind, smart ones, get out there and adopt or shoot one out, either way, do something for our future ;)

as facetious as this post is, it is also entirely and sadly true.
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Various statistical data and census data confirm your observation. This is the beginning of a new Dark Age. The human race is doomed.
 
jaymie said:
I do not just want to be a mama. I want to be a very strong woman with a deeply committed partner who are both confident in making strong decisions and agree that the most important thing about raising our children together is to raise strong and conscious individuals who are not afraid to be themselves and care in a world so full of drones and machines ready to break you down and digest your parts at any moment that most humans born today are fed directly into the mouth of the beast without their parents even realizing it. Just being a good person and raising good people is not enough. I'd rather see warriors like myself raising children rather than backing away into our intelligent well read corners and letting the herd continue the cycle of enslavement. I may sound idealistic to some, but I know I have the power and the choice to manifest this future.
Click to expand...

(Emphasis added by me)

You have it right, Jaymie. You are a gift to the universe. You are not some Marina bitch who will jog off the pregnancy pounds with a Bluetooth headset in your ears. ;)

You are a warrior. You will never be imprisoned by external forces that grow increasingly malevolent as the fight of keeping up with the "Joneses" becomes a question of survival.

I turn 28 next week (ouch) and have been scared, feeling too old, not accomplished enough. Your post reminded me that I'm not as old as I feel and that the future we as humanity create for the next generation and the ones after that is something all must attend to. I still may write off the idea at 30, but a lot changed from when I was 25 going on 26 rather than 27 going on 28. I only wish I had not been so rigid and that I didn't feel so deficient for favoring my career and outside interests over popping something out of my vagina.

I feel less deficient now. Thank you for your truth, as you have always provided. I think we have a bit of time to spend doing things that are unsafe in pregnancy before we venture down that one... plus, we have to research those dolphin centers in Hawaii first, right? I imagine that would be a good place to lay the foundation for bringing a conscious, independent being into the world. Certainly it is preferable to an unsanitary hospital full of people poking you.

As an only child with no concept of sibling relationships and not much common ground with my family, I've always felt that I'd like to create my own. To be a strong, respectful, kind matriarch transcends outside (arguably elitist) notions that smart people choose childlessness. I would imagine that being without progeny is maladaptive when one reaches old age. I respect the decisions of those who remain childless by choice. But I can't wrap myself around the idea of humanity being so hopelessly lost that I can outright disallow myself the opportunity to parent a wonderful being if it presents itself. Such pessimism is not conducive to parenting in any event, so perhaps it is in fact best that those who rigidly choose to be childless do not reproduce and, in essence, perpetuate false dichotomies based on a deep level of selfishness. Selfish people raise selfish brats.

I'd prefer to remain open to the possibility that I would give a child a great foundation on which he or she can build a great life. At present, it would not be right. A couple years from now it might be. I'm more than fine with holding out on it for now.
 
God, kids.

I remember fantasising about being pregnant when I was 14. I can't remember a time when I didn't want to have kids.

Now I have two, and they are an absolutely pure joy in my life. They are everything I imagined they would be, and I know I'm very lucky. I have two beautiful (objectively ;)), smart (objectively!), healthy, vibrant and funny daughters. Pregnancy and birth was easy and they have always been (relatively) well behaved babies/children.

sigh.

I had an abortion in December because I was with a new partner and we'd been together for a very short time (maybe 7 weeks when conception occurred). He never wanted to have kids, mostly for those 'the world is a horrible place and I'd only be contributing to it' reasons. I would have loved that baby with everything I had, but the situation was horrible.

I'd be about 6 months pregnant now, and it doesn't seem so bad anymore. He and I are still together and he does want to have kids in the (distant..) future. My biological clock is ticking very loudly right now. I want a baby. The timing is completely wrong, but my body is just screaming out for it. I'm 25. I first fell pregnant when I was 19 and my younger daughter has just turned 3.

(I'm not going to, that would be crazy! But that yearning ovary feeling sure is powerful.)

I want to have a whole brood of babies. But I have never felt any differently to that. I've always wanted to have a whole brood of babies.
 
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