is no good

i feel a cringe in my stomach as i see the old couple hold hands as they walk, they're muffled laughter brought on by some joke only they share. it's enough to make someone sign up on eharmony...

it's a loneliness that i've always had. one that couldnt be cured by meaningless flirtation or stimulating conversation. tied over, maybe, but not cured. i long to be in a relationship when im alone though im never satisfied with the ending result and even now i feel foolish for letting something so childlike overcome me. i never understood why another person in your life could be so important to have, though i secretly knew that's exactly what i wanted...someone important to me.


but all this just shows that i have self-esteem issues and cant be happy with just me...


god dammit

 

Biology

 

^ Word. It's a pain in the ass sometimes, isn't it?

 

I wish I had enough time to make a meaningful comment, but I'll have to make due with the couple minutes I have.

Your words remind me of an old saying, more recently iterated by Christopher McCandless: "We cannot enjoy happiness unless it is shared with us by those we love." Okay, those weren't his exact words, but close to it. Another saying that comes to mind is "give me a hell of mutual suffering rather than a heaven of heartlessness."

I think that we all have a powerful unavoidable urge to share the company of another. Even those of us who avoid dependency, and take pride in self sufficiency, will have an unconscious yearning to fill the cavernous void that resides in the souls of us all.

So don't think it is wrong to want a partner, I think it is natural. At the same time, there is no rush. I would suggest not to make any decisions that would hold you back from being with your soul mate when they cross your path. Don't mind flirting, dating, stimulating conversation, fooling around, so long as it doesn't prevent you from another better opportunity that could come along at any time. And it will, come along, probably when you least expect it.

Make any sense?