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Is LSD pushing me down the path of schizophrenia?

Orsimer

Greenlighter
Joined
Dec 21, 2015
Messages
3
So, let me start by saying that I have done LSD quite a bit before this bad experience, - including trip alone on higher doses - and I have yet to have any auditory hallucinations, outside of when I am under the influence of strong psychedelics. Basically, a month ago I tripped by myself at my house on 2 tabs of very potent LSD. I would describe the way that I think normally as a series of 'thought narratives' with inner monologue, and I assume everyone else is like that, too. But while tripping, I lost all control over what went through my head, I was basically thinking in random, and i mean very random, noises, from a language that is not human.

Not only that, but at the time I was 100% convinced that I was being attacked by an entity that visited me during my trance. It was evil, pure evil, and I remember that I closed my eyes and saw an ocean of fractals surrounding two evil pitch black eyes. I can't stress the nagging feeling I had of it being evil, in a very general sense. I had no evidence in hindsight saying they were evil, but they just seemed very real, and very VERY evil. Back on topic, I was starting to freak out and send myself into a bad trip, and because I was alone I became very scared. I was laying down cuddling my cat, when I opened my eyes and looked over into the eyes of my cat. The lights were off, and in hindsight I now know that cat eyes when in the dark become almost completely black, so it's a natural thing. But at the time I added two and two together, and became convinced that cat was possessed, or was acting as a conduit for the evil spirit.

I didn't hurt the cat or do something stupid, I just changed rooms and removed the cat from myself. I sat back down, but for 3 hours until I came down, I could barely control what I was thinking because the alien language was forcing out everything else. For the next few days I was convinced by extension that my cat herself was evil, and avoided her. Moreover, my 'thought narratives' continued to be sporadic and out-of-the-norm for a couple of days. Eventually I realized how dumb I was acting and everything wen't back to normal, including my mind.

However, that leaves me to wonder, is this hobby of mine going to permanently wreck my mind if I try to go in deep again? Or is it just another bad trip that some people experience? I don't know what to think... I am now paranoid of being paranoid, including being paranoid of my cat. I guess another detail to add, growing up my more spiritual friends both said a dark entity exists in my house (it was built during the cold war and has some secret rooms underground) but because I consider myself more a man of science, I dismissed that as their imagination. If I start to buy into the 'there is an evil entity in my house' am I going crazy, or am I just embracing a less defined side of life? I am definitely never tripping in my house alone again though, that's for sure.

Another thing to add: I have ADD, I dont think that would make a difference but I don't know.

I love acid, and I think it can be super fun. But I don't want to end up like Syd Barrett.
 
I think that's not too uncommon for a bad trip. Feeling out of whack for a few days and even being convinced of something because of your trip have both happened to me before. You're probably fine, but give yourself a break for a few months. Also, make sure you have benzos around next time you trip.

It's arguable that Syd Barrett "went insane" in any way. All he did was remove himself from the public eye. Artists are sensitive people. It's no surprise to me that he couldn't handle fame.
 
Syd was a special case.

The girl he was living with was dosing him on top of what he was already taking. They tripped almost non stop for a whole summer traveling around Europe.

It was said if you went to there flat that you didn't eat or drink anything they served unless you were ready to trip becUse it was most likely dosed.
 
Believing that there's an evil entity in your house is one thing.

Actually hearing said entity, and hearing it coerce you into doing evil things, without any ability to turn off that voice, might be considered schizophrenia.

I think you're just paranoid. Doing something like LSD which is stimulating and has sympathomimetic qualities is bound to make you feel a bit crazy if you don't give yourself anything to focus on. When I do LSD, I make sure my home is setup with good music, and lots to see and look at if I feel like being outward (like artwork, crystals, colorful tapestries, etc). The same is true if I smoke a really strong sativa. Just sitting there and stewing in your own tripped out juices is going to be uncomfortable... and when you're on acid, your feelings can easily become your entire reality, which is why it's important to give yourself ways of changing the channel if you need to.

If you're feeling oppressed or restricted while on acid, that feeling can easily become a thought form that is seemingly outside of yourself.
 
Unless you notice symptoms of mental illness without the influence of drugs, you're fine. Feeling off for a while after a bad trip is normal.
 
Schizophrenia is a genetic disorder so unless LSD has the power to change your dna (which would be amazing if you could focus it) you can't develop schizophrenia unless predisposed
 
But it can theoretically trigger it or worsen it.

Recent research suggests weed is a lot worse than psychedelics for people with mental illness, though. And that psychs may actually have a positive effect on mental illness. Even so, if you're predisposed to delusional thinking, intentionally exposing yourself to drug induced delusion without a doctor or therapist directing it doesn't seem psychologically healthy.
 
It's arguable that Syd Barrett "went insane" in any way. All he did was remove himself from the public eye. Artists are sensitive people. It's no surprise to me that he couldn't handle fame.

Syd Barrett most certainly did develop schizophrenia and was no longer functional... if I recall he dropped out of the public eye because of this, and basically spent the rest of his life dealing with schizophrenia and being pretty non-functional.

He was a special case because schizophrenia was latent within him, and the LSD most certainly did not help with that. LSD can trigger schizophrenia (as can marijuana or a traumatic experience), but it's not going to just cause it out of nowhere in someone who doesn't have it latent inside them, even if they're dosing an insane amount. I tripped 3-4 times a week on average for about 2 years, and at the height of that it was very nearly every single day, sometimes actually daily for a week at a time or more. That was in 2005-2007, and I'm fine, I certainly was tripping too much and I crashed and burned a bit at the end but I never went crazy or anything.

I'm not recommending in any way that you trip too often, but LSD, due to dopamine receptor agonism, can cause symptoms that feel more psychotic than many other psychedelics. In fact during my most recent LSD trip, I had some of those out of control thoughts you mentioned (not the same ones but I felt like my mind was being occupied by something that wasn't just me), and at the time it made me nervous until the peak ended, but then it did end and I was fine.

I do recommend taking some time off, at least a month. Unless you keep feeling off, I'd say you're safe to explore some more after that break.
 
Syd Barrett most certainly did develop schizophrenia and was no longer functional... if I recall he dropped out of the public eye because of this, and basically spent the rest of his life dealing with schizophrenia and being pretty non-functional.

source? his relatives claim he was completely sane. I think it was mostly just a media exaggeration, or maybe temporary psychosis caused by binging.
 
Idk, LSD may temporarily be pushing you down the path of the schizoid behavioral spectrum, but if you are/always have been mentally strong and healthy, you should be ok if you quit taking the LSD at least temporarily and maybe self medicate with some soothing MDxx. That being said, I've known some guys who, while maybe not clinically schizophrenic, were kind of 'creepy' or just eccentric and taking large and/or repeated doses of LSD who did their psyches, socially acceptable behavior patterns, or ability to function daily by going to either school or work no favors. I have a feeling you would definitely know what I mean by that if you knew someone like this while this behavior was going on in their lives. As for the 'evil' aspect of LSD, well, Alexander Shulgin once describes it in his writings somewhere as 'sinister.' I think that is an apt choice of words for the nature of this molecule's psychological effects.

The first time I took LSD, at 19 whilst in a mentally depressive funk already and having never even really been high on weed or any other drug first beforehand, I had a mental break and pulled a Syd Barrett for about 6 months. It was god awful, but I pulled through. However, 20 years later and I've been diagnosed as schizoaffective and/or bipolar for years now. I am dependent on Haldol or other similarly potent D2 antagonist to sleep and function properly, and while my life is very rewarding in many ways and I still have friends, I haven't worked in a decade and a half and am at this point, by all objective measures, a failure in society's eyes. So yes, LSD is something to respect if not outright fear in certain cases.
 
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source? his relatives claim he was completely sane. I think it was mostly just a media exaggeration, or maybe temporary psychosis caused by binging.

Here's one I just found: http://www.schizophrenia.com/sznews/archives/003640.html

Also, a lot of Pink Floyd's discography after it happened is about it happening. Listen to the words of Wish You Were Here, that whole thing is about him/their early years. Shine On You Crazy Diamond... it's about Syd.

As it progressed he developed symptoms of catatonia as well, sometimes on stage, which is a classic symptom of schizophrenia. Tripping out and being weird is one thing, but catatonia is not a typical symptom. Nothing I can find suggests he ever returned to normal and it happened in his twenties, and he died at 60.
 
I just learned one of my closest friends has schizophrenia. How's the modern medication, can you live relatively normal life with schizophrenia?
 
Here's one I just found: http://www.schizophrenia.com/sznews/archives/003640.html

Also, a lot of Pink Floyd's discography after it happened is about it happening. Listen to the words of Wish You Were Here, that whole thing is about him/their early years. Shine On You Crazy Diamond... it's about Syd.

As it progressed he developed symptoms of catatonia as well, sometimes on stage, which is a classic symptom of schizophrenia. Tripping out and being weird is one thing, but catatonia is not a typical symptom. Nothing I can find suggests he ever returned to normal and it happened in his twenties, and he died at 60.

I think that most of this can be attributed to him either taking huge doses of LSD and not telling people, or again, temporary psychosis. I think that his band mates and all of the producers and such, tried to sell the story because it's so touching. I've heard that they all treated Syd like shit.

Rosemary is adamant that he neither suffered from mental illness nor received treatment for it at any time since they resumed regular contact 25 years ago. At first he did spend some time in a private “home for lost souls” — Greenwoods in Essex — but she says there was no formal therapy programme there. (“And besides, he didn’t mix, because he was very content to be basket weaving and making things.”) Later he agreed to some sessions with a psychiatrist at Fulbourn psychiatric hospital, Cambridge, but neither medication nor therapy was considered appropriate.

He might have continued to find social interaction difficult — when I knocked on his door while writing my book he greeted me in his underpants and avoided conversation by saying that he was just looking after the house — but the idea that he “didn’t recognise he was Syd” is nonsense.

from http://www.sydbarrett.net/subpages/articles/ordiinary_brother.htm
 
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Interesting, I've never seen that. I have a friend who is on the autism spectrum (asperger's) and fits that description pretty well. He has a hard time taking care of himself in life (that's a comparison to one of the points in the article you linked to) but it's just the way he is.
 
source? his relatives claim he was completely sane. I think it was mostly just a media exaggeration, or maybe temporary psychosis caused by binging.

I read that he had Aspberger's and that all the drugs he used along with the Aspberger's syndrome was not a good combination.

Take a long break from drugs Orsimer, and if you are worried about it talk to a doctor, therapist or mental health/medical professional. Good luck.
 
I read that he had Aspberger's and that all the drugs he used along with the Aspberger's syndrome was not a good combination.

Take a long break from drugs Orsimer, and if you are worried about it talk to a doctor, therapist or mental health/medical professional. Good luck.

i have Asperger's (although you can't tell by talking to me or looking at me) and i've done acid a million times lol, it's actually helped me come out of my shell and psychedelics overall have lead me to understand a lot more about my psyche, which certainly helps a ton when it comes to coping. They also expose me to overstimulation in a way that lets me see that I really can handle it, whereas I used to completely submit to my overstimulation and felt entirely helpless. I adamantly stand by the idea that psychedelics could be used to help treat autism in a therapeutic setting, from personal experience.

LSD and psilocybin were used to break autistic/schizophrenic children out of catatonia, quite successfully I might add http://www.maps.org/news-letters/v07n3/07318fis.html
 
The only thing pushing you down the path towards schizophrenia is non-compliance with adulthood.

I'm 31, a bluelighter for 13 years and fought it tooth and nail the past year.

Age 25 and 30 (younger for females) are the big ones. But yeah, if your fighting thought, you're fighting society's expectations. Think "a brave new world" you're not a individual, you're a type and expected to act in a manner fitting your type.

Fight it, hold your breath, do yoga, eat vegan and you too can be "one of those people" old know it all hippy who knows all oddly but doesn't use...or you can conform.

I realized at 18, built defense till 25, dug in 25-30 and admitted defeat at 30.

Long story short, give up drugs and meditate.

I'm a shitty adult and shifty at meditating but uhhh from an old dudes perspective this appears to be the only way.
 
Just because you gave up and decided to conform at age 30 doesn't mean anything at all in particular. I'm 39 and high right now, with no plans in particular to quit anytime soon either. I don't know about you, but I'll be damned if I die sober. You know, different strokes for different folks and everything.
 
Sobriety does not equal conformity. Drugs are fun but they will lead you straight to your death. If you want to live a long life and experience everything you were meant to you need to know your limit. I'm 17, been high since I was 13, I've learned a lot and dont regret using drugs but I already see that the proper path in my life is sobriety. The longer you stay sober the better it feels, its just hard to pull yourself out of the hole but I sure hope I'm out before I'm 30
 
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