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Is life hard for everyone?

C

cowardescent

Bluelighter
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Jun 29, 2017
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Something I wonder. I'm 21 and had mostly bad moments but a few spectacular ones. In general, I look at myself now and it's a wide contrast to what I experienced back in 2013, where I had some psychosis but thought I would have my life together and by this time be in college.

I see my classmates on Facebook, Instagram and they look like they're enjoying life a lot but I know that may just be highlights of their life. My mother repeats the platitude "everyone has problems". True but to what extent? We admit life is unfair and some will die having experienced nothing but pain (starving kid in Somalia) whereas someone growing up in a rich family in the West may have lots of friends, go on trips, do well academically and then before the real world can inflict damage, they'll accidentally overdose on heroin and die at their 18th graduation party.

But even if there are people who always have it better and worse, life itself is definitely tiring. The nature of existence demands that people should adjust to suffering. I saw an article of a Danish billionaire who lost all his kids. The wealth and status of humans can never eradicate the so called "slings and arrows of outrageous fortune". You may life happily but could get in a car crash and end up paralyzed by a drunk driver completely out of your control.

Anyway, nevermind the ranting, i wonder what you yourself think about your life in general. Has it been hard?
 
I must honestly confess- about 90% of my problems have been caused by my own actions and desicions.

Yes, it has been hard- I've struggled with loneliness, depression and drug abuse for all of my 20's. Lost my best friend to murder. Have spent most of my time sitting in an apartment, wasting my time, and just "waiting to go to sleep".

If I could things over again, I'd save my money, invest in a house to live in. Have a higher self esteem, and go out to bars and pubs to find a woman.

And never abuse IV. amphetamines!! :)

I hope the rest of my life will be good, maybe it will if I can find a woman to stay with. Work out every other day, eat healthy and save money for the things I need.
 
The best advice I can get you- is:

Set a goal for your life, let's say you want to finish college, get a nice job- or achieve something .


Even though other people might not support you or believe in your dreams- it's crucial that you still work hard,
in the end you will thank yourself for doing this.

When I was 21, i lost my best friend, and was left with NOONE to support me, talk to, or help me trough life. So I started giving up and not giving a damn, abusing drugs-
and now I'm 29 and doesn't have a damn shit :/.

best wishes,
-Erl
 
Some people have it very easy, some of us have it very hard, but I think everyone goes through hardships, the degree just varies a hell of a lot.

Eri - *hugs* I also lost my best friend in a situation that is at least partly my fault, and have never gotten over it either. I take SO MANY pills to make those feelings go away.
Do you mind me asking how it happened?
 
Dunno if my life's been hard or I am soft, but it hurt being alive since I have memory.
On my way to now I learnt to detach and shield myself from the emotional toxicity that is extremely common in humans and just look through everyone except the ones I care about.
 
ChemicallyEnhanced: my friend was murdered, stabbed with a knife in the heart- by some wannabe "bad boy" idiot at a party. :/

this really sucks ,. as he was my only close friend, and we had such a cool life to look forwards to.

I only recently have begun to "move forwards" after all that happened.
 
Life has been hard. I have been afforded some privileges due to my upbringing, but almost everything I have in life I have had to work 110% for. I have come to the realization that whenever I see someone else and think, "How are they doing that?", the answer is usually money. People play it off as charm or some kind of merit, but 90% of the time the person has financial backing. Since I realized that, I stopped comparing myself to others. The material world is unfairly stacked and it creates confusing appearances because of it. Comparative thinking is destructive, puts me into survival mode, and makes me see the universe as mechanical. I prefer to see the universe as capable of magic. When I can be in that mode, things feel more sacred and life starts manifesting stuff that is more supportive.

I'm always achieving something because achievements resonate with me. For others, not so much. For other people it's having a robust social life, traveling, or just working a job and then taking it easy in their off time. It's important to find what resonates for you. Resonance is how you make sense of your suffering.

It may be useful to reframe your question, not to delude yourself, but to understand what you're really asking. Rather than suffering, your question is about existentialism. Life is existential for every human being, deep down. Everybody has that moment when they stare into the void and wonder just what the hell they're doing. Nobody can avoid it forever. Everyone suffers to varying degrees, but is there a point? Victor Frankl wrote an interesting treatise on logotherapy, which is one answer to the existential question you're asking. It's not about suffering vs. not. It's about does your suffering have meaning or not. He survived Nazi holocaust camps and managed to rewrite the manuscript for his book that was confiscated by the SS. He said that the people who died the fastest in the camps were the ones who saw no meaning in their suffering. Once they had given up on meaning, they were doomed. The people who tended to survive the most were the ones who found meaning in their suffering and even took pride in enduring it. His book "Man's Search for Meaning" is heavy, but enlightening. I recommend it.

While I never met the true death, I've come close enough to be able to tell you that life, fundamentally, is meaningless. That is to say, nothing we do matters at the ultimate level. That's the bad news. The good news is that you're free. In this freedom, you can create meaning in anything you want, however you want. You can create any sand castle on the beach, as simple or as elaborate as you feel like, knowing that it'll all be washed away in the end, that it'll all end up okay.

For me, that sand castle looks like anything that resonates. If it doesn't resonate (i.e. feel good, feel right, feel true) then I really don't care. Comparing myself to others is toxic because in the past when I tried emulating what others were doing because it seemed like what I should do, I felt miserable, even in my successes. You have to "do you".
 
dont talk to me about LIFE...

wasn't that the robot's quote? lol

21, life is smooth sailing. no need to over complicate this phase of life. drugs need not be in the picture to be enjoyed to a large extent. problems are for later in life, unless you're on a $70/hour paycheque, in which case, problems never shall arise... woo hoo! lol

I actually have been at rock bottom and couldn't be more thankful for me lot in life nowadays. anything to keep that bit preserved.
 
Life, IMO, isn't really that hard if you have passions and are driven. Also, if you have a conscience.

But if you don't have those three, i could imagine one just lollygagging around, aimlessly, getting into trouble.
 
Life CAN be hard and is at times for everyone, I believe. However a whole lot of it boils down to a few things:
  • The way you choose to view the world, and what you choose to focus on. If you are constantly dwelling on negative things, life will seem much harder/more painful
  • Do you spend your time doing things you care about and are passionate about? Many people don't have anything in their lives that makes them feel fulfilled, and this will lead to a lot of boredom and suffering
  • If you are stuck in any toxic situations (ie, controlling loved ones, abusive partner, etc), this will cause a lot of pain, and life is too short to be buried by other peoples' bullshit
But yeah, my life has been very hard at some points, and I regularly have difficult moments at least, or even short periods of weeks or whatever. But overall I love my life because I'm doing what I love and I am surrounded by good people who I love. I also went to college and got a goo degree so I have a job that takes away a lot of money stress... I still have money stress but I can live pretty comfortably... that also helps, but isn't necessary. The happiest guy I know is constantly broke, he works, he just lives very frugally and is a musician.
 
Maybe we have to rise to the challenge then and accept life as non-cryptic, or as variously straight-forward. I always relished the idea of a mind-map but never thought to get involved in one to too much of an extent. Maybe the mind is the extent of all that can be anticipated until mindlessness is conjured up for what it truly is. beats me.
 
Life is as hard as you allow it to be.
It’s all about the way you handle things mentally.
Some people’s lives are shit but they handle it well and are relatively happy.
Other people lives are less shitty but they don’t handle it well and it negatively effects their life.
 
Yeah I agree, life has a whole lot to do with attitude. If you frame everything negatively, you make everything negative and that is really difficult to deal with. Whereas if you choose to see the brighter side of things (and it IS a choice), you become aware of all the things that are good, and life becomes much easier to deal with.
 
It's a stupid but smart question in the same time. There's a saying ''How you made your bed this is how you sleep'' so you can apply this here but looking on this you got all these shits and what not. Music nowadays which's hard against womens and men, gives wrong education, people who didn't got throughout life that didn't learned anything on their own, only through films and music, people educated by & on internet and now you have expectations as how you present your idea or yourself into a light, if you go way into the subject, etc. On the other hand all these old heads are bricks in walls for this question because they think that this generation it's meant to live not to survive & their opinions are based with what they see in themselves, again useless thinkin, so as I way sayin both generations to resume this in one sentence, place tags and judge, all these actions useless because.. human brain it's a funny thing, as sad as it sounds. You want to say something new and be superior or inferior, forced behaviors & vocabularies.

So I speak for these kids who don't got a voice and they should have one because they didn't live in a cave, I can chill in all worlds, I know how to act in the specific environment.I feel like your Q doesn't have an end because you didn't knew how to place the dot on ''I'' nor a sense and this is what I said above ''People criticise things with what they see in themselves'', which's nothin new.
 
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