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Is keeping track of your time sober beneficial or harmfull?

nuttynutskin

nuttynutskin

Bluelighter
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May 15, 2011
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First of all it's not my intention to be judgemental towards anyone's treatment. I think if what you're doing works for you you should do it. But something I've thought about before is exactly what the title says... Is it beneficial to keep track of how long you've gone without whatever drug you were addicted to? Anyone in this section probably knows I'm personally not a fan of the 12 step system and this is one of my problems with it. It seems like keeping track of your time sober could actually be negative in the event of a "relapse" because AFAIK in the 12 step system you're basically made to think that you're starting from the beginning, (by all means correct me if that's wrong). To me it's a totally devastating way to think in that you could've gone years sober but in one slip up you're essentially starting all over. Personally I think keeping track of how long you've gone sober is beneficial as a way to keep track of the progress you've made, but not to think that any bumps in the road have set you back to square one in your sobriety. That's pretty much the method I'm going by... Keeping track of my progress but not with the associated guilt. With that said everyone has their own path and that's just what seems to work for me. So what are you guy's thoughts?
 
Personally it's not for me.
I find the best progress is trying to forget about how many days it has been, and getting on with my life.
Each to their own though.
 
I round, I don't say, "I've been sober for 624 days, 3 hours, and 7 minutes"
What I generally tell people who aren't addicts is when I went to rehab and when I left and that I had a little slip up about a month after getting but I've been sober for over 2 years.
Also not heavily involved in 12 step programs and I don't love the "one day at a time" or "I'm sober just for today" concept. I think it's important to have a healthy concept of all the wonderful things that come with a future of longterm sobriety.
 
Mmp85 said:
I don't love the "one day at a time" or "I'm sober just for today" concept.
Click to expand...

Really? To me it takes the fear out of it. Saying that you're never going to drink again vs. I can drink whenever I want but I'm choosing to be sober today. To me one makes you feel like you're losing something for the rest of your life and the other one empowers you because you realize you're making the choice. That of course is just my view on it and how I'm choosing to approach things.
 
Yeah, that's definitely how a lot of people see it and it makes sense to me. I think it's still a good way of looking at it.
But for me I've done well with "If I keep this up like I have so far I'll do well at work, I can save money, I can finish college, I can afford to visit my best friend, etc"
Buy I still try not to look at like one drink would ruin any work I've put in.
 
I also wanted to add that I know society has a certain idea of the words clean and sober and I wouldn't go throwing around clean dates to strangers/acquatainces/members of recovery groups when you've relapsed since, but part of sobriety is mental and emotional. In your mind and heart your sobriety may have begun the first time you seriously reached out for help and started that journey. To me that's the day that's more important than the random Monday after a weekend bender when you went crawling back with your tail between your legs still wanting that sobriety you had fought for before.
 
Maybe it's the area I live in but NA is a joke. More than half the people there are only there for that piece if paper stating they were there to satisfy court. Then you have the ones that think its cool and trendy to be a heroin addict, however, they really aren't bc anyone that really is knows the shame and embarrassment that comes along with it. I don't get why people find it cool to say "yeah, I'm a recovered addict!" I'm sure you all know the type! Then you have the handful of hardcores that eat, sleep, and poop NA that think they have to live and survive in groups! Basically replaced one addiction with another. Why is it healthy to pick the same scab over and over anyway? Lastly, you have the new and inexperienced dealers trying to boost their clientele! Not realizing that half the people in there are in trouble with the law and just found a new scapegoat to set up and work off their charges! Is it just my area? Is NA different everywhere else?
 
I don't really keep track. I'm sure if I went back through my phones old text messages I could tell you exactly when the last time I used heroin was, but...it's just not that important to me, honestly. It was over a month ago IIRC...it's been a while, that's all I know.
 
I don't really keep track of time. I know the day I got sober and can figure it out when someone asks, but I think it is an easy way to make a reservation out of time. Personally I just look at it the way mmp85 does: I'm doing well today I'm just going to ride this wave.
 
It's different for everyone. I find it helpful since it shows me how long I have been sober and not drinking alcohol or using other drugs, and all the time and everything else I would lose if I were to drink alcohol or use drugs.

Other people I know even hardcore AA/NA people don't keep track.
 
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I don't pay attention to it at all. Many people count the days and in old school 12 steps fashion, once they have a slip they start all the way back at zero. That's the association I have made with it anyways. It seems self defeating, I think people should just pick up where they left off. The idea that it is a complete failure can have people saying fuck it, whats the point?

Many people find it helpful and it can be reinforcing. There is a definite correlation between seeing number values and a dopaminergic response in the brain which can be reinforcing. Encourages neuroplasticity, which is the brain rewiring, restructuring itself to start craving non drug related stimulus. This mechanism is partly why facebook is also addicting for people, the number of friends, messages, unaccepted frisnd requests. Facebook is more of a narcissistic kind of stimulation though. Counting the days sober is a positive thing until one starts viewing themselves as above others due to their clean time which happens a lot. Most people are humble and supportive though.
 
I don't pay much attention to it myself. But I think it is harmful in some cases as people say well damn I got high and lost all that clean time I had which makes them think fuck it ill just keep getting high.
 
to the OP... THANK YOU for starting this thread! i totally think your hunch is right.

obviously, counting clean time is helpful for some people and that's great. but for me--and i don't think i'm alone--i've found it to be more discouraging than helpful, even when i was able to rack up a decent stretch clean.

sure, i think it's important to keep a general idea of one's progress or lack of progress. but fetishizing keytags--fuck that.
 
It is really just another yardstick to compare yourself to others.

I live by the mantra "I'm doing just as well as the guy with twenty years clean. We both choose not to use and that is what matters."
 
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