Is it wrong...

[EyesSizeOfTheMoon]

to not want to talk to my family about any of my problems? I mean I feel like every time I do I get this sense of regret and shame for, I guess, exposing my weak and dark side of me. Yet when I talk to a good friend of mine about the same shit I feel a WHOLE lot better and less uncomfortable. It feels as if each time I tell my mom, sis, aunt (who btw is if anything the best person to talk to in my family), or whoever I just sink myself deeper in their eyes. Becoming darker and darker in the black sheep sort of sense. Though with my friends its that release I've been waiting to have.

I mean I WANT to be able to tell them whats going on in my life and how I should deal with things but I end up just having that cookie-cutter response that everything is fine and nothing is going wrong so they won't worry about me, or especially look at me differently. I don't like them thinking (or knowing lol) that I'm a drug addict, or that I get severely depressed most of the time, etc. I kind of want them to continue to see me as that innocent boy they use to have back in the day instead of seeing what my life has become now.

 

[kaossalami]

I have always felt the same way around my family. It feels like I don't want to burden them with my problems,especially my parents. They always find out though, in my case. Obviously they found something wrong when I tell them im fucked and need to go to the hospital..or accidently overdosing on ambien. I too wish I could talk to them, but I can't put myself in the place to hurt them. Its very hard. Everyone struggles with feelings like this I suppose.. I don't think its wrong for you not wanting your family to know..but if it becomes too troubling they may just find out more than you really want them to know...

 

[ocean]

I think that is probably pretty common-
You want your family to think the best of you.......
But I am sure your family would support you for you- problems or no problems.
When you're ready, if you are ever ready, opening up to them may be very freeing........
If not, you are lucky you have friends who can understand or relate

 

[kaossalami]

Even if your family may not agree with your actions and personality..they love you unconditionally.

 

[EyesSizeOfTheMoon]

I have always felt the same way around my family. It feels like I don't want to burden them with my problems,especially my parents. They always find out though, in my case. Obviously they found something wrong when I tell them im fucked and need to go to the hospital..or accidently overdosing on ambien. I too wish I could talk to them, but I can't put myself in the place to hurt them. Its very hard. Everyone struggles with feelings like this I suppose.. I don't think its wrong for you not wanting your family to know..but if it becomes too troubling they may just find out more than you really want them to know...

That is definitely true. I've had times where I couldn't exactly control myself and my mother would notice something was definitely up. I mean I know my whole family knows my dark side but It's the fact that they know it that makes me feel horrible.

But I guess you guys are right, no matter what they would try to seek help for me or did whatever they had to. I just hope that one day I break free from everything I'm going through and get on the right track so that I can show them that.

 

[Lolie]

It's very common for people to develop a support system which is separate from their family as they enter adulthood and it's a healthy thing to do.