Hi everyone,
About 6 months ago I tried MDMA for the first and last time. (As far as I'm concerned it was MDMA, but I can't be positive.) Anyways, I had a super strange experience on it and well, i'm not sure what my goal is here I guess I just wanted to share a little bit of my story and hear your thoughts.. ease my mind, tell me I'm crazy.
In short, during this trip (well the physical effects of this trip abruptly stopped when this happened), I had a moment in which it felt like I was remembering certain future events that would happen to me. It was like my future consciousness was somehow contacting me with a message. The message was pretty simple- this is real, this is actually happening, and you need to share this story. I was told that everything would be okay, I have nothing to fear.
Somehow, it would be proven almost without a doubt that I had effectively "time traveled". This story would become well known around the world, and I would become extremely famous and wealthy. (Mind you, I'm an introvert, I don't like being the center of attention, and although i'd be lying if i said I don't care if i become rich, its certainly not as important to me as just being truly happy. I guess where i'm going with this is that I don't think this was just some weird manifestation of my desires. I don't aspire to be rich and famous, and I've never been all that into time travel, so this came way out of left field for me.)
Anyways, the next day I tried to shrug it off as just some weird drug trip, and thats what I did. However, almost exactly a month later, after smoking some weed (which i do everyday), it happened again. And another month later, again. I won't go into the details right now but I can't stress how real it all felt. During these moments I was certain what I was experiencing was real, and it was only the following days that the doubt came. These time I just tried brushing it off as flashbacks of the first trip being brought on by the cannabis.
I consider myself a pretty rational guy. I'm the type of person who needs to see it to believe it (I arguably did see it, and I still can't believe it.) I've never had trouble distinguishing reality vs just tripping balls until now. The problem is this didn't feel like the result of drugs, I was told this wasn't the drugs, i was told I would doubt myself, yet I still did, I still do. But I'll never forget the feeling I had, how real it felt, how it all made sense.
Two days ago, I was smoking some weed and thinking about the events that had happened. I decided to write down my thoughts - pretty much just a free writing exercise (something I've only done once for a class), when it happened again. I had sparked another "future memory" in which I remembered including what I had written in the preface of a book I would eventually write about my experiences. Again, it felt so real, and this felt like the final straw, like I could finally accept that this is actually happening, and it was comforting. But again, as usual, the next day the doubt crept back in. It just sounds stupid, its unbelievable, and theres a more logical explanation.
Both explanations scare me. Either I did somehow "time travel", breaking our understanding of time, the brain, and our universe, or I am experiencing intense delusions/ hallucinations/ flashbacks being brought on by the weed (which I guess means no more weed for me).
So yeah, thats the summed up version. What do you guys think? If you have any questions or want to know more, just ask, I'll be happy to answer.
About 6 months ago I tried MDMA for the first and last time. (As far as I'm concerned it was MDMA, but I can't be positive.) Anyways, I had a super strange experience on it and well, i'm not sure what my goal is here I guess I just wanted to share a little bit of my story and hear your thoughts.. ease my mind, tell me I'm crazy.
In short, during this trip (well the physical effects of this trip abruptly stopped when this happened), I had a moment in which it felt like I was remembering certain future events that would happen to me. It was like my future consciousness was somehow contacting me with a message. The message was pretty simple- this is real, this is actually happening, and you need to share this story. I was told that everything would be okay, I have nothing to fear.
Somehow, it would be proven almost without a doubt that I had effectively "time traveled". This story would become well known around the world, and I would become extremely famous and wealthy. (Mind you, I'm an introvert, I don't like being the center of attention, and although i'd be lying if i said I don't care if i become rich, its certainly not as important to me as just being truly happy. I guess where i'm going with this is that I don't think this was just some weird manifestation of my desires. I don't aspire to be rich and famous, and I've never been all that into time travel, so this came way out of left field for me.)
Anyways, the next day I tried to shrug it off as just some weird drug trip, and thats what I did. However, almost exactly a month later, after smoking some weed (which i do everyday), it happened again. And another month later, again. I won't go into the details right now but I can't stress how real it all felt. During these moments I was certain what I was experiencing was real, and it was only the following days that the doubt came. These time I just tried brushing it off as flashbacks of the first trip being brought on by the cannabis.
I consider myself a pretty rational guy. I'm the type of person who needs to see it to believe it (I arguably did see it, and I still can't believe it.) I've never had trouble distinguishing reality vs just tripping balls until now. The problem is this didn't feel like the result of drugs, I was told this wasn't the drugs, i was told I would doubt myself, yet I still did, I still do. But I'll never forget the feeling I had, how real it felt, how it all made sense.
Two days ago, I was smoking some weed and thinking about the events that had happened. I decided to write down my thoughts - pretty much just a free writing exercise (something I've only done once for a class), when it happened again. I had sparked another "future memory" in which I remembered including what I had written in the preface of a book I would eventually write about my experiences. Again, it felt so real, and this felt like the final straw, like I could finally accept that this is actually happening, and it was comforting. But again, as usual, the next day the doubt crept back in. It just sounds stupid, its unbelievable, and theres a more logical explanation.
Both explanations scare me. Either I did somehow "time travel", breaking our understanding of time, the brain, and our universe, or I am experiencing intense delusions/ hallucinations/ flashbacks being brought on by the weed (which I guess means no more weed for me).
So yeah, thats the summed up version. What do you guys think? If you have any questions or want to know more, just ask, I'll be happy to answer.