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Is it possible to have a normal relationship with someone who doesn't use?

falsifiedhypothesi

falsifiedhypothesi

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I do plenty of drugs and it seems the only way I can be charming enough to attract anyone is when I'm under the influence. Is it even possible to have a relationship with someone who doesn't use drugs?

There is so much negative stigma that I don't think any amount of persuasion would convince someone that I can still be a good person and use. Maybe I could convince someone im still good but how long would it be before that takes a strain on them? They may always be questioning themselves or me, can I really trust this person, are they just making excuses to use drugs?

Anyone have this type of relationship or is it just better to lie about it?
 
I use/have used many different drugs (heroin and meth are the only drugs that are off limits to me, not necessarily because they're worse than other drugs but I don't like the stigma). Anyways, my best friend in the whole world doesn't do any drugs besides occasionally smoking weed. She doesn't approve of how much I use, but she realizes that I'm not hurting myself (at least not horribly, I'm not addicted to anything), and she mostly keeps her opinions to herself, although we discuss drugs openly. I hang out with her sometimes sober and sometimes high, she enjoys seeing how I react to different substances despite that she would never do most of them herself. Funnily enough, she's my only friend that doesn't do drugs with me (besides smoking together sometimes). So to answer your question, yes, you can maintain relationships with sober people while using drugs. I think the key to doing this successfully is finding someone who isn't too critical of you for using and someone that can realize that drugs don't define you. You should also be truthful about your drug use (when making new friends, maybe ease into how much you tell them about if you use a lot), and you should make sure they realize that they're more important to you than the drugs are (if this isn't true then you should either find a better friend or reevaluate your priorities).
 
its not possible from what ive read and heard.

if the relationship exists, then theres a good chance the sober partner has very low self worth and/or is masochistic.

how would you feel if the person you loved, lied to your face, and behind your back was using drugs? how would the trust in the relationship be affected? do you think it would be hard from someone who is around you a lot to notice when you are on drugs?
 
Depends how much you use......if youre living with someone, you have a job, splitting the bills, etc......& your usage doesn't affect the other person, then yes, you can use w/o a problem.

I'm assuming the other is okay with your usage.

I have a friend that smokes pot every day, his wife doesn't do any drugs & they both have great jobs......she's okay with his usage.
 
To supersoup, I was only talking about romantic relationships. I've had a very mixed friendship with my best friend over time becuase of drugs so I know how that works. I was a obsessed with drugs when I first started them and I somewhat deserved the hate as I would blow him off at times to go smoke weed.

I have since realized that's not the way to treat friends, especially your best friend, and he has realized he can't stop me from being the way I am. He has just recently started drinking for the first time ever and has become much more open and respectable towards drugs and alcohol. We are back on very good terms now and the future looks good as far as our friendship goes.

Im not currently in a relationship. Mysterie it sounds like you are saying the only chance I've got is with someone with no self worth. I wouldn't lie nor would I want to if I really loved her but i don't see how the only choice I get is with someone who lacks self worth.

Ive thought about what would happen if I caused my partner to start using drugs. I would like to think at that point I would stop using to protect her.
 
well i guess based on your OP, i assumed that the drug use you are referring to is either strong opiate addiction, strong stimulant addiction, poly drug habit. something of that nature.

so for someone to have a relationship with someone who is using drugs self destructively, would indicate that they are entering the relationship to hurt themselves more.

if you just smoke weed everyday, obviously that changes the nature of the question

as for stopping using when your partner starts using drugs, in order to protect her. that seems incredibly naive to think that you will be able to stop suddenly when you are both using.
 
I should have specified originally but I'm talking about mostly kratom addiction. I am mildly addicted at about 5-12 grams a day. I also occasionally drink, take adhd stims, hydrocodone, and very rarely benzos, mdma and others. So far my usage has not caused me any major legal, financial, or social problems.
 
do you work or study?

are you productive? do you have goals?

if you have a life, you might be able to have a short relationship based on having your shit sorted out to some extent.

i have doubts about maintaining a relationship with a sober girl if you have to take an opiate every day in order to not get sick.

if i was considering dating a girl who was addicted to kratom, i would see it as too much baggage for me to want to get involved with. i don't want to be in a relationship with someone who is going to be dependant on opiates for their life, and i don't want to play the role of drug counsellor or therapist to try and improve their wellbeing, and i wouldn't be able to wait until they were able to kick the habit themselves.

i think thats probably how most drug naive people would feel about it
 
No, it's not possible to have a normal relationship with someone who doesn't use unless you keep all your usage secret from them and never talk about it.
 
I dunno. When I was smoking a ton of speed a while back my boyfriend was aware and was fine with it. I wouldn't use infront of him, but he knew all about it. I'd get a bit high before seeing him sometimes and he was fine with it.

I don't think it's for everyone, but it's possible. Perhaps guys are more responsive to this stuff than females? My bf's brother also smokes a lot of bud and does coke (yuk).
 
It's never worked for me, sadly...seems that what usually happens is you end up lying your ass off about your usage bc the other person never totally accepts it, or is ok with it. That or else they begin using. I'm sure it works for some people somewhere, but it never has for me.
 
Maybe if the partner has used drugs in the past and is more understanding..but theres a big difference in using drugs and addiction..addiction will tear a relationship apart..using just will make it more difficult but anything is possible
 
I think the only drug someone can do on a daily basis and keep a newly established relationship is either:
1. a Prescription that you have been taking for years already...and you never binge dose.
2. Cannabis

What really matters is your Financial security, basically if you have your shit together.
 
Use what? I could see an iv h habit really wrecking a relationship. I don't think it matters as long as your not letting the drugs impact your relationship. I do a little bit of everything and my girlfriend will only do mdma and lsd. But I don't tthink I could ever give her up for anything drug wise she's just too amazing, however I think if she started to like drugs more than me it would be a problem for me.
 
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I have made it twerk in my past.. I've also had dames buy me coke 247, but not opiates. Dafuq? Honestly, if one uses, and the other doesn't, it will fuck things up in a big way.
 
Yes it is. I did it on and off, mostly on, for seven years. She knew it, but not really. She didn't see it, because I kept my use to myself. Whenever she saw it, she'd ask me for a dose, we'd get high together and it was awesome. But most of the time I kept it to myself, so she did know to ask, and also didn't care to ask. It work work if the girl/woman is judgmental. If you are together long enough she'll eventually see it, so you better find a girl that won't be like "ew! gross.. drugs are for pathetic animals.. drugs users aren't even people! like ewww!"
 
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