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Is he trying to make me jealous? What do you get from this?

Ashley S

Ashley S

Greenlighter
Joined
Jul 27, 2014
Messages
30
Location
Maryland
Hey everyone! :) I have this guy friend whom I was infatuated with maybe even in love with. I always resisted though cause of so much drama. I will explain if you want me too. It's just a lot of drama, but one of them was the fact that he kept pulling disappearing acts on me, and then he would reappear in my life and act like he's my boyfriend and act like he is so in love with me, and declared his love for me, then I wouldn't reciprocate and then he would disappear and I wouldn't hear from him from weeks to months at a time. It was the same repeated cycle, and I never had sex with him. Well I just came to the point in my life, that I should just cut him out instead of having this in and out, flip flopping, behavior in my life, even though I don't want to let go, I am forcing myself to let go, cause I really do care about him.


Well 2 months have passed haven't heard or seen him. Out of the blue he calls my dad to see if he has any work for him to do on his day off, (he used to work for my dad's construction company but now he is working with a landscaping company) Anyways, my dad says "Let me call you back. Ashley is with me and she has to drive me to pickup material" Then my dad calls him back and he says "Yeah I texted Ryan (my brother) a pic of this hot girl i'm going out with. She's really hot" First of all, why would he text my brother pics of this "hot girl" when he is not even close with my brother? He worked with him a couple of times, but he is not super close to him and he texted him that out of the blue. Also why would he mention it to my dad? I noticed it was on the second call he mentioned this girl. Another point is he has a good job with a great pay and he doesn't have high expenses and he works full time, so why wouldn't he want to enjoy the day off? I work full time and go to college so I cherish my days off! lol. I am despising him more after this, but I am more curious about the behavior than him. Is he trying to make me jealous? If so what is he trying to prove or what is he trying to accomplish? What does this sound like to you? I am still sticking to my guns to cutting him out of my life, I just want to know more about guys that play this jealousy game is all. But just give me your opinion on it! :) Thank you so much.
 
He doesn't seem like the type of guy I'd want to get into a relationship with. The disappearing act just isn't cool.

I'm not exactly sure what he's doing with the picture thing, talking to your dad. But the guy doesn't seem like someone to get into a relationship with.
 
Okay I'm a guy and I'll tell you this... If a man is really interested in you, he'll keep in touch with you most definitely.

If he doesn't... He's either really busy and his outside life is more important, or he has his mind & time is on another girl or several other gals. OR maybe he has a social anxiety disorder and is extremely nervous about talking to you. BUT from your post, that seems like that isn't the case.

He seems like he's the type of guy that craves self recognition. After all, he did brag to your brother about how hot his girlfriend is.

I'm not sure what type of game he's playing. Maybe he does want you to be jealous and have you give him attention. Maybe he's power hungry. Maybe he got picked on in kindergarten.

I would say don't take the bait from the fool and find a man that will appreciate you.

If you still want to pursue a relationship with him. You need to have a talk with him and ask him what's his deal.
 
Hmm op I think the best explanation is he gets hurt every time you resist, his ego probably gets hurt every time u say no to him, he disappears because he doesn't want to get hurt whenever he sees the girl that rejects him. Guys have this certain ego that when they get rejected, it takes time for them to warm up to you again. Like the post above, have a chat with him and just lay it all down instead of the continuous cycle of he shows affection then you resist and he disappears again lol
 
Sounds like you're playing little kid games. As far as why is he doing what he's doing? Who cares. I wouldn't waste any more of your time even thinking about this flake, but at the same time if you're going to play games don't be surprised when others do the same thing.
 
Op I hope you are not leading him on, if you are in love why would you always resist? If you put yourself in his shoes and you are the one chasing what would you have done differently?
 
nuttynutskin said:
Sounds like you're playing little kid games. As far as why is he doing what he's doing? Who cares. I wouldn't waste any more of your time even thinking about this flake, but at the same time if you're going to play games don't be surprised when others do the same thing.
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I am not playing games with him. I am not even talking to him! He is the one that plays games. If you are talking about the fact that I would reject when he wanted to go out with me, it wasn't because I was "playing a game" with him or having fun at the fact that i'm rejecting someone. He had so much drama that circulated him it was ridiculous! He has ex issues cause he had a baby with her, her friends were threatening his woman friends, he seemed to flip flop and seemed undecided cause he would show signs to me that he wanted me as a girlfriend, then he would show signs to me that he wanted to mess around and have no commitment, and I am the relationship type, so I wouldn't be ok with a Friend with benefits. Also some of my girlfriends wanted to date him, ugh...so much BS drama! Seriously, it put me off. I also was protecting my heart cause he was never clear on what he wanted. But I do love him and care about him though so it's hard to say. It's hard for me to let go, cause I really do care about him, but I am actually being the mature one by just cutting all contact. But thank you for commenting! I do agree with you that he is flake, definitely!
 
Maya said:
Op I hope you are not leading him on, if you are in love why would you always resist? If you put yourself in his shoes and you are the one chasing what would you have done differently?
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Well there was a lot of drama that circulated him. He has ex issues cause he had a baby with her so her an her friends were threatening his woman friends, he was never clear on what he wanted from me, cause he would show signs that he wanted a relationship with me then he would show signs that he just wanted to screw me and that's it. He seemed vey indecisive about me. I am the relationship type so it wouldn't work being a friend with benefits. Also some of my other friends wanted to date him etc. DRAMA! That is why I backed away, and then he wouldn't give me enough time to get close with him enough to go further, cause then he would disappear from me. It is so much, but I never got joy out of rejecting him or enjoyed the attention. I want to be with him, but with everything I stated above and there is a lot more, I don't know if I can handle it. But I care and love him a lot. It's hard for me to let go. I don't want to, but someone has to stop the cycle, so I am forcing myself to let go, but I can't...I seem all over the place, but it's because I have feelings for him and I don't want to let go. It hurts me. I wish I was the girl by his side, but instead he seems to be more interested and infatuated in this beautiful girl he is trying to date or is dating. I feel like he just doesn't care about me, cause he's texting my brother, and he didn't ask to say HI to me when my dad was on the phone with him. But thank you for commenting! Sorry I wasn't detailed enough and sorry for the long reply lol, but I appreciate it! :)
 
Ashley S said:
Well there was a lot of drama that circulated him. He has ex issues cause he had a baby with her so her an her friends were threatening his woman friends, he was never clear on what he wanted from me, cause he would show signs that he wanted a relationship with me then he would show signs that he just wanted to screw me and that's it. He seemed vey indecisive about me. I am the relationship type so it wouldn't work being a friend with benefits. Also some of my other friends wanted to date him etc. DRAMA! That is why I backed away, and then he wouldn't give me enough time to get close with him enough to go further, cause then he would disappear from me. It is so much, but I never got joy out of rejecting him or enjoyed the attention. I want to be with him, but with everything I stated above and there is a lot more, I don't know if I can handle it. But I care and love him a lot. It's hard for me to let go. I don't want to, but someone has to stop the cycle, so I am forcing myself to let go, but I can't...I seem all over the place, but it's because I have feelings for him and I don't want to let go. It hurts me. I wish I was the girl by his side, but instead he seems to be more interested and infatuated in this beautiful girl he is trying to date or is dating. I feel like he just doesn't care about me, cause he's texting my brother, and he didn't ask to say HI to me when my dad was on the phone with him. But thank you for commenting! Sorry I wasn't detailed enough and sorry for the long reply lol, but I appreciate it! :)
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Seems like he has plenty of opportunity for girls, and he's indecisive about what he wants. He might not see it now because of a lack of maturity, but I'm sure he'll look back one day in the future and think of you as: The one that got away.

You're relationship material and he don't see that yet. He'll pursue the wrong thing now. He's got the "Hot Head" and thinks he's all that & a bag of chicken wings.

I would say it would be in your best interest to move on. There are so many fish in the sea. You'll be fine.

Just embrace the great qualities you have :) You deserve the best!
 
Honestly, if there is this many issues without a relationship, then there will be more with one. If you do love him, meet with him alone and face to face. Tell him exactly how you feel. If he has the same feelings, then you both can work together to build a relationship. If not, then at least you can have closure. It will hurt, but the pain fades. The question of "if I only would have told him exactly how I feel" can linger in your mind for a long time. Its best to just clear the air with him. You deserve to bewith someone who makes you happy, not one who causes turmoil in your life.
 
he's either desperate trying to get back at you or just unhappy trying to get back at you.

texting your dad and telling your dad that type of shit is obvious game playing- he knew they'd say something to you because it is a strange thing to say.

if he still bugs you get a hold of him, maybe in person and tell him like it is- you're moving on and tired of his shit. Tell him to leave you alone and make sure you let your dad and your brother know you are done with him and he likes to play games. I'd have a hard time imagining them not taking your side if you keep it simple and tell them you are done and don't go back on that.

sounds to me like you already know what is going on just struggling sticking with your decision. It's a hard thing to do if you really cared about him, but the painful truth is that if he is hurting you already then he isn't too concerned with your feelings and you in general. I used to play a lot of games and it was probably because a lot of girls my age did too. Playing games is for hooking up not starting relationships. When you find someone you can connect with on a deeper level without the bullshit and the games it is such a different thing. Trying to use jealousy to get someone to like you is a power play. It's playing off of someone's weakness to get what you want- really not the way to start a serious relationship.
 
What do you get from this? Kinda weird lol!

Hey everyone! I just wanted to inform you guys and get some opinions on the latest situation with him. First off, he works for my dad on his day off, and he enters the house, I am sleeping on the couch, and Kevin comes over and starts kissing my face...lol, I woke up immediately! Then he seems happy to see me. So then later on in the day he calls my house phone asks to speak with me. He asks me if I knew anyone that would buy his weed, cause he was in desperate need that night for cash lol. I had a friend who was interested so I went to Kevin's house to get it. He was acting very sexual with me, and flirty, and so I said "Stop it Kevin! You have a girlfriend!" He said "no I don't!" Then his sister calls, and he is talking to his sister and saying basically how "clingy" his "girlfriend" is. I am assuming him and this girl are in a relationship, he actually never said to me it's his girlfriend, it's just how I am referring her. I don't know if they are in a relationship, but they sure do act like it. It is pretty noticeable on Facebook. So he's basically discussing the disinterest he has in her to his sister. Then he gets a call from the girl, or his girlfriend and I noticed he didn't pick it up. I said I had to leave cause I had a date, he was questioning it and saying "Who is he?" "What are you guys gonna do?" etc. He just kept questioning and then he said "Ditch your date and come to a party with me!" He kept going on about his penis size too lol? I don't get that he kept saying "What's his dick size?" "Did you ever see his dick?" I was like "What the hell? No! It's my first date with him!" So then I noticed he put something in my purse, but when I left I looked in my purse and it was a small note that said "Ashley I love you sweetheart"

I got stupid drunk with my date and I came home and texted Kevin 8( I said "I love you Kevin! in a gay way lol! I am not trying to be inappropriate" He then called me and said "Are you in love with your date? Are you in love with him?" I said "No But I had fun! Haha" He said "Come over my house! Please! I am having a party, you can sleep here and there will be beer. Come over babygirl!" I said "Ok" and then I passed out cause I drank too much. I woke up to a text from Kevin saying "Where are you?" Then another one from his friend saying "Where you at?" I felt bad that I blew him off, so I said "Oh my! I am so embarrassed. Sorry Kevin! I passed out, and drank too much!" He didn't respond to my text. But what are your thoughts on this? Why did he care about my date so much? Do you think I should have apologized? I think he's mad cause he didn't respond lol. Also if he does have a girlfriend why does he care? This just doesn't make sense! Any opinions? Please share! Thank you! lol.
 
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I think u bring drama in it as well hes a tool but u still text and are in his life.shit bappens who cares if he text u back hes just playing games so stop fueling the fire.if u want to be with him do it if not cut contact these complicated guy and girl friendships dont work when all this drama is happening id do a little self analyzing and see why u feel a need to be in the middle of all this back and forth none sense all it brings is stress.MOVE ON

from reading all your post about him its clear to me he is thinking with his dick and not his heart.all hes sayin when he "loves u" is i wanna fuck u..he might not even know what the hell hes doin he seems extremely immature and naive.if he loved u hed except your decisions and not judge u and let shit be. he wants that pussy he doesnt want your heart.tread carefully
 
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P.o.T.u.S said:
I think u bring drama in it as well hes a tool but u still text and are in his life.shit bappens who cares if he text u back hes just playing games so stop fueling the fire.if u want to be with him do it if not cut contact these complicated guy and girl friendships dont work when all this drama is happening id do a little self analyzing and see why u feel a need to be in the middle of all this back and forth none sense all it brings is stress.MOVE ON

from reading all your post about him its clear to me he is thinking with his dick and not his heart.all hes sayin when he "loves u" is i wanna fuck u..he might not even know what the hell hes doin he seems extremely immature and naive.if he loved u hed except your decisions and not judge u and let shit be. he wants that pussy he doesnt want your heart.tread carefully
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Lol, it makes sense. I am not understanding it honestly. He is so weird and does play games, I just wanted to know what other people thought, but yeah you made some good points. Thank you.
 
Maybe you should just give me a shot.. You're really attracted to him right? Odds are, he'll probably be an ass.. I'm not saying you should marry the guy; but if you date him now, you're already well aware of the red flags. Sooo, you can already prepare for the worse. If the worse happens, you'll be ready for it and not be heart broken too much. If he ends up being a super asshole, just dump the guy and move on.

I'm looking at your avatar picture and you're pretty hot. You could definitely find another guy like super duper easy, and don't ever feel inclined you have to stay with him. There are much better guys for you. Most definitely.

And about the sex deal. There is a good chance that Kevin is thinking more with his penis, and he's more lustful towards you. But if you think he's hot, and wouldn't mind taking it to bed.. Well, you have two choices. You can say Yay or Nay. It's your call Ashley babe :D

OR you could just be his friend and tell your parents to ignore his immaturity. I'm sure your folks get a kick out of it anyway. Kevin sure would make me chuckle :D

Whatever you do Ashley, take it with a grain of salt. Don't get to emotionally caught up in the situation. If it ever goes South, you can head East, West, or North.

You guys remind me of love birds from back in high school :) I use to be one of those love birds, and I had a girl friend who was more jealous than Kevin back in HS.
 
Teabag Johnny said:
Maybe you should just give me a shot.. You're really attracted to him right? Odds are, he'll probably be an ass.. I'm not saying you should marry the guy; but if you date him now, you're already well aware of the red flags. Sooo, you can already prepare for the worse. If the worse happens, you'll be ready for it and not be heart broken too much. If he ends up being a super asshole, just dump the guy and move on.

I'm looking at your avatar picture and you're pretty hot. You could definitely find another guy like super duper easy, and don't ever feel inclined you have to stay with him. There are much better guys for you. Most definitely.

And about the sex deal. There is a good chance that Kevin is thinking more with his penis, and he's more lustful towards you. But if you think he's hot, and wouldn't mind taking it to bed.. Well, you have two choices. You can say Yay or Nay. It's your call Ashley babe :D

OR you could just be his friend and tell your parents to ignore his immaturity. I'm sure your folks get a kick out of it anyway. Kevin sure would make me chuckle :D

Whatever you do Ashley, take it with a grain of salt. Don't get to emotionally caught up in the situation. If it ever goes South, you can head East, West, or North.

You guys remind me of love birds from back in high school :) I use to be one of those love birds, and I had a girl friend who was more jealous than Kevin back in HS.
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Hahahaha! I love your username. That's funny! No, I don't think I will give him a shot cause he confuses me too much, to the point where I am spinning my wheels. I was just curious as to what others think and just sharing more info on the latest situation and how mixed signal, and messed up it was haha. But no, I won't date him, nor do I want to, I am just baffled by him. Thank you so much for the compliments! How nice of you to say! :) I see what you mean though, but hey! You're cool! lol. Thanks for commenting! :))
 
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