is being sober even possible?

[laCster]

well here i am one again, i had everything going for me and i fucked it all up. it always seems like when i have things looking up that i fuck them up, i always say to myself that this time will be different and that i will somehow manage, but shit always falls to peices/ i was going to be allwoed to stay on suboxone while i live in a halfway house, and i ended up giving into the syringe and shooting up suboxone. i feel so fcking stupid because i didnt have to use a needle to dose my suboxone, i just wanted to and i am getting so hard on myself once i started, i couldnt stop myself.right now im basically homeless and im fucking depressed. it feels like i will never be able to stay completely clean. the only next thing for me to do is to go into a halfway house without suboxone and try that out, but i have like zero confidece in myself that i will be able to stay sober without suboxone. idk i feel so hopeless right now, like i will be doomed to a life of addiction, and it is not something that i want for myself. i feel just so beaten down and pesimistic like how willl i ever be able to go a whole year without using drugs and being happy? i know my parents wil support me if i decide to go somewhere where im not on suboxone and that if i stay clean they will support me in going back to school.

idk, i am not in a good place right now and some support would be greatly appreciated. what would you do in my situation? i want a life for myself so bad but right now it seems impossible to stay sober. sorry if my post is kind of scattered brained i am so depressed i cant even think straight

 

[cj]

Why do you have to go to a halfway house? Maybe being aroumd a bunch of other addicts isnt a good thing? Stay on the suboxone. Clean is a very subjective word. Fuck clean strive for happy. Dont get caught up in the treatment industry carousel. You know whats best for you! Not some wannabe slum lord looking for a buck.

 

[laCster]

i guess i dont but if i want my parents to support me, i do. and i just feel like ill never be able to go back to school if i dont get my parents help. like right now i am completely on my own and the task seems so daunting. im really afraid about whats to come.

 

[gr33n3y3z]

I second the staying on the sub.

It helped me out a lot staying off narcotics and even booze.

It is very possible to be sober, it's all about dedication, confidence & will power. Most defiantly mind over matter.

Fear is understandable when your striving to get sober, when all your used to is being high.

But honestly being sober feels great and yea your still going to have a craving here or there, but in the end its all about your health.

I wish you luck on your journey to sobriety. It's not a walk in the park though.

PM if you need to talk about this I have experience with the sub and all what your going through.

 

[dody420]

Im 31 and spent the past ten years on either oxy, h, or subs. im two weeks off subs. not fun but totally bearable with the right meds. the best med is Neurontin. high doses at about 1800 mg works great. plus I smoke weed. I also take a k pin, but mom holds those cuz id eat em all. seriously ask your dr. for gabapentin. its a miracle.