Hello all. This is my first message on bluelight. I have spent quite some time reading a variety of threads here and am very impressed with how for the most part everyone is so kind and supportive of one another. I am happy to have opportunity to also contribute now and be benefited also with my questions.
My HisStory:
5 years ago my fiance got kidnapping and by accident I found that the Oxy that had been scripted to me for some oral surgery made my mental torment over her being gone basically disappear. I had never taken opiates before except a loratab here and there from the dentist, but holy cow Oxy was like a freaking God send! I wasn't suicidal on it, I could focus, I didn't need to take clonazapam or other meds like cymbalta and seroquel that the shrinks scripted me. I could program like a champ again and was actually happy having hope. This lasted a good year or so having a stable (and legal) source of Oxy. I found that all I needed was 10mg up to a rare maximum of 30mg per day to maintain this new life of bliss on Oxy. I actually thanked God for the miracle of being able to feel normal and happy like my friends with their families seemed to be. After the year the ability to get more Oxy faltered and I took a dive. Docs put me on suboxone which while it took away the withdrawals of not having Oxy did not give any boost in life. It didnt feel clean, it became a heavy burden, it felt nasty in so many ways. It itself eventually offer a year of taking it had me helplessly hooked. The docs basically told me I would always have to take it. dang it was expensive too. It festered to a point where I could not go on any more. A friend of a friend had just done ibogaine and told me all about that so as a last resort I tried it along with freebasing 5meodmt a few days after. The ibogaine was one of the most hellish experiences ever, two and a half days of pure torture basically. The 5meodmt was exactly the opposite of torture, it was actually way more intense than the IBO lasting only a half hour, however while on it, it was, well, it is ineffable. I would say the 5meodmt for me equates to decades of therapy just that one experience. Anyway after that I did not have any withdrawals anymore and have been clean of sub's and Oxy since. It is something I have sincerity had to desire though, to keep off Oxy. The withdrawals went away 100% physically and mentally but the stress of life and the memory of how good Oxy can be for anxiety/depression and ability to function in life for me has taken a degree of vigilance to say no to Oxy. Its funny because the doctors that scribed me sub's before the ibogane after I did not return to them after a few months (before on sub's had to go in monthly) sent inquiries to my family asking if I had passed away and when they found out I was alive they sent the cops over cause they concluded I just had to be doing opiates illegally because I was not lining their pockets anymore! Yep that's why ibogaine is schedule 1 folks, enough treasonous assholes in gov and their criminal cohorts big pharma don't want people free. They want you sick and dependent. While the ibo and 5meo saved my life the sad news is that the low energy and depression that plagued me before discovering Oxy returned and has been a bitch to deal with. I discovered kratom from a friend and after doing research on it decided to try it. It has been amazing! I have found the red strains for me to be more effective, but I have not found any Kratom that has not been helpful at moderate doses. It is not near what the Oxy did for me, but it has been great for the low energy, PTSD and anxiety/depression. I have been on Kratom since a few months after the ibogaine experience and have stopped taking it for a month or a few weeks at a time whenever I ran out of money to buy it. I have been pleased that while not on Kratom I have not experienced any withdrawals, just the shitty PTSD, depression, lerthagic, low energy inability to focus challenges I struggle with without anything. Now that criminal, serial killer, psychopath scum groups of people operating in government and big pharma are putting Kratom on schedule 1 because they want to hurt people, because it actually works in helping people including military veterans who struggle. (these demons from hell would 'schedule 1' baby aspirin or mountain stream water if it threatened their criminal money flow or if they wanted to send a message to their enemies which is what this Kratom schedule is also.). Anyway now than another natural remedy that Kratom represents, is under attack in this war on nutrition and God endowed inalienable rights it will be more difficult to obtain Kratom for our health. Ergo does anyone have any suggestions of what helps in having greater energy and ability to focus and helps with depression? I know this is a big question, just looking for any advice here that can aid in my research. I am currently looking for something to replace Kratom. My doc a few months gave me a few scripts for generic adderall which worked perfectly those few months but when went back would not give another. I was told that they wanted to scribe me more, but were facing some heavy scrutiny by, who else but the gov and needed crazy amounts of expensive testing to prescribe more. Any ideas?
My HisStory:
5 years ago my fiance got kidnapping and by accident I found that the Oxy that had been scripted to me for some oral surgery made my mental torment over her being gone basically disappear. I had never taken opiates before except a loratab here and there from the dentist, but holy cow Oxy was like a freaking God send! I wasn't suicidal on it, I could focus, I didn't need to take clonazapam or other meds like cymbalta and seroquel that the shrinks scripted me. I could program like a champ again and was actually happy having hope. This lasted a good year or so having a stable (and legal) source of Oxy. I found that all I needed was 10mg up to a rare maximum of 30mg per day to maintain this new life of bliss on Oxy. I actually thanked God for the miracle of being able to feel normal and happy like my friends with their families seemed to be. After the year the ability to get more Oxy faltered and I took a dive. Docs put me on suboxone which while it took away the withdrawals of not having Oxy did not give any boost in life. It didnt feel clean, it became a heavy burden, it felt nasty in so many ways. It itself eventually offer a year of taking it had me helplessly hooked. The docs basically told me I would always have to take it. dang it was expensive too. It festered to a point where I could not go on any more. A friend of a friend had just done ibogaine and told me all about that so as a last resort I tried it along with freebasing 5meodmt a few days after. The ibogaine was one of the most hellish experiences ever, two and a half days of pure torture basically. The 5meodmt was exactly the opposite of torture, it was actually way more intense than the IBO lasting only a half hour, however while on it, it was, well, it is ineffable. I would say the 5meodmt for me equates to decades of therapy just that one experience. Anyway after that I did not have any withdrawals anymore and have been clean of sub's and Oxy since. It is something I have sincerity had to desire though, to keep off Oxy. The withdrawals went away 100% physically and mentally but the stress of life and the memory of how good Oxy can be for anxiety/depression and ability to function in life for me has taken a degree of vigilance to say no to Oxy. Its funny because the doctors that scribed me sub's before the ibogane after I did not return to them after a few months (before on sub's had to go in monthly) sent inquiries to my family asking if I had passed away and when they found out I was alive they sent the cops over cause they concluded I just had to be doing opiates illegally because I was not lining their pockets anymore! Yep that's why ibogaine is schedule 1 folks, enough treasonous assholes in gov and their criminal cohorts big pharma don't want people free. They want you sick and dependent. While the ibo and 5meo saved my life the sad news is that the low energy and depression that plagued me before discovering Oxy returned and has been a bitch to deal with. I discovered kratom from a friend and after doing research on it decided to try it. It has been amazing! I have found the red strains for me to be more effective, but I have not found any Kratom that has not been helpful at moderate doses. It is not near what the Oxy did for me, but it has been great for the low energy, PTSD and anxiety/depression. I have been on Kratom since a few months after the ibogaine experience and have stopped taking it for a month or a few weeks at a time whenever I ran out of money to buy it. I have been pleased that while not on Kratom I have not experienced any withdrawals, just the shitty PTSD, depression, lerthagic, low energy inability to focus challenges I struggle with without anything. Now that criminal, serial killer, psychopath scum groups of people operating in government and big pharma are putting Kratom on schedule 1 because they want to hurt people, because it actually works in helping people including military veterans who struggle. (these demons from hell would 'schedule 1' baby aspirin or mountain stream water if it threatened their criminal money flow or if they wanted to send a message to their enemies which is what this Kratom schedule is also.). Anyway now than another natural remedy that Kratom represents, is under attack in this war on nutrition and God endowed inalienable rights it will be more difficult to obtain Kratom for our health. Ergo does anyone have any suggestions of what helps in having greater energy and ability to focus and helps with depression? I know this is a big question, just looking for any advice here that can aid in my research. I am currently looking for something to replace Kratom. My doc a few months gave me a few scripts for generic adderall which worked perfectly those few months but when went back would not give another. I was told that they wanted to scribe me more, but were facing some heavy scrutiny by, who else but the gov and needed crazy amounts of expensive testing to prescribe more. Any ideas?
