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Yes is, actually superior when realising all different people to read and write own too. One thing i still want to say,

Last thing to explain about Finland is "We are Koskenkorva(booze) crazed sauna people with enormous wisdom and humanitarian intelligence and technological capabilities." It's so cornish lie that nothing is.

The real secret is something that rules don't allow much. It can be said it depends on the personal issues, characterising profiles or diagnoses from "very deep retardation" to "very serious psychopatia". When luck gives oppornity in this country to survive on own, stay away from all those. Worst are pedophile cops, or maybe pedophile gipsy cops that force into character worship or steals medicines and are in amphetamine hook. These aren't lies. Only answer to authorities are normal or i've done nothing. "Now DAMN(!) explain to mr.monkey NO-One is tortured or we take him again!" shit, hehe.

No-one is scared of future, it's the moon holidays that are common mans everyday holiday now when orbits are calculated...Except the MIR radioactive meltdown tomatoe healthy issues.

Don't say to cops any The Simpsons show humourisam jokes, that, a sackfull of cats roped into pile makes a cow for movie film lense. It's retardation or psychopatia. Or that office chairs have wheels, so it's a type of wheelchair.

I make this clear, it's not racism. With globalisation comes a thigy-lingy, colouring. It's called whitening. But not very much, it's a slow process so no worries.
 
Orangutangpsychopa said:
Yes is, actually superior when realising all different people to read and write own too. One thing i still want to say,

Last thing to explain about Finland is "We are Koskenkorva(booze) crazed sauna people with enormous wisdom and humanitarian intelligence and technological capabilities." It's so cornish lie that nothing is.

The real secret is something that rules don't allow much. It can be said it depends on the personal issues, characterising profiles or diagnoses from "very deep retardation" to "very serious psychopatia". When luck gives oppornity in this country to survive on own, stay away from all those. Worst are pedophile cops, or maybe pedophile gipsy cops that force into character worship or steals medicines and are in amphetamine hook. These aren't lies. Only answer to authorities are normal or i've done nothing. "Now DAMN(!) explain to mr.monkey NO-One is tortured or we take him again!" shit, hehe.

No-one is scared of future, it's the moon holidays that are common mans everyday holiday now when orbits are calculated...Except the MIR radioactive meltdown tomatoe healthy issues.

Don't say to cops any The Simpsons show humourisam jokes, that, a sackfull of cats roped into pile makes a cow for movie film lense. It's retardation or psychopatia. Or that office chairs have wheels, so it's a type of wheelchair.

I make this clear, it's not racism. With globalisation comes a thigy-lingy, colouring. It's called whitening. But not very much, it's a slow process so no worries.
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Riiiiiiiight:|
 
"I always seem to find myself alone"

Kerrigan said:
Introduce Yourself in this Thread!
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I miss Kerrigan :( Where did he go?
Seems we lost him like all the other O.G. Bluelighters.

I feel like the one that got away ... I missed the train to a better life and got stuck here in Bluelight limbo :|
I can't relate to all these n00b Greenies ...

Nostalgia
wistful desire to return in thought or in fact to a former time in one's life, to one's home or homeland, or to one's family and friends; a sentimental yearning for the happiness of a former place or time

[/nostalgia]

Please return to your regularly-scheduled indecipherable anti-communication and 21st Century drugs.
You bastards.
 
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Oopss, i could make a few comments of the prophet.

1) Aphex Twin is self employed.
2) Aphex Twin is gay.
3) Oopp, pls-pls-pls don't say Aphex Twin is a barber/haircutter. Lol.

One thing is sure, Capitalesbian(if a nickname here i won't blaime, lol) is worst type. About the new visualisations on youtube, Piano Tuners have that below nose scratching secret signal. Sensation White, i have no idea who is the first drawed person, or why has character blindness and genital blindness. Then comes(haven't even checked into end...) matricular bitch boss without any white aspects except empty pride, then the role-playing game explosive/drug chemist special worshipping. The Third is Ollie's GF, wants to be a Indian Queen. Hahahaha. It's so clear now.
 
Orangutangpsychopa said:
Oopss, i could make a few comments of the prophet.

1) Aphex Twin is self employed.
2) Aphex Twin is gay.
3) Oopp, pls-pls-pls don't say Aphex Twin is a barber/haircutter. Lol.

One thing is sure, Capitalesbian(if a nickname here i won't blaime, lol) is worst type. About the new visualisations on youtube, Piano Tuners have that below nose scratching secret signal. Sensation White, i have no idea who is the first drawed person, or why has character blindness and genital blindness. Then comes(haven't even checked into end...) matricular bitch boss without any white aspects except empty pride, then the role-playing game explosive/drug chemist special worshipping. The Third is Ollie's GF, wants to be a Indian Queen. Hahahaha. It's so clear now.
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Hmmmmm Interesting, very interesting
 
my name's michelle. im from daytona beach florida. 22 years old. im a greatful, recovering addict. my main squeezes were opiates (iv roxannes) & benzodiazapines. i still smoke marijuana and i still have slip ups..especially mentally.

i am also bipolar 1..which gets in the way of a lot of things. and it's especially hard without my ativan. *sigh*

anyways, hi guys ^-^<3
 
I am iceicebaby...22, live in SE Wisconsin...DOCs are weed, E, ketamine, and the occasional meth. I found this forum interesting because of the self harm thread. I self harmed for seven years and haven't done it since November 2009.
 
Hi I'm James, from the UK and I am depressed.

I haven't been diagnosed because I don't want just some other fucking label - there's too many in this world, and want to believe I can help myself, with a lil help from my friends.

I've stopped getting high with a lil help from my friends, and generally can control myself - obviously with any compulsion it's easy to see when you're sad or pissed off if you've been leaning towards yours too much - mine being sugar, alcohol, sex, and weed.

Right now - I'm irritated, trying to get a new job because I have lost ANOTHER one through not getting a grip in one of my very low lows...and well, I'm pretty sick of it.

I feel like running away, but can't right now - and I know running away isn't supposed to solve anything, but I truly believe (or want to believe) my trip to India ASAP will inspire me artistically, give me masses of perspective, take a lot of temptations away from me, distractions too, and by doing yoga everyday, I intend to find a better balance in my mind and body...mainly mind actually. WHich is very different from when I first started.

Fuck, there's my introduction - hope I won't be posting in here that much, but feel like now's a good time...known people who post(ed?) in here before, and well...misery loves company I guess - anecdotes, relating to one another etc.

Peace

(fuck I'm in a rambling mood - much more than usual even)
 
hi peeps i'm 37 live in uk and have been using and abusing drugs 4 about 21 years. started with fags,booze then hash,speed,lsd, e,and onto H,coke/crack,benzos you get the picture.
guess i've got wot you'd call an addictive personality.
i was/am a "new age traveller" which meant pretty much wotever drug you wanted was on site and easily avalible. blew my last lorry up in paris while temporarily clean so stayin at mum's at moment(she is awesome)
i was so anti smack for years but ended up in birmingham when about 21,my mate and i spent 2-3days trying to score some weed/hash but all we got offered was H or crack needless to say after 3 days whn pissed we tried it, two weeks later my lorry caught fire while i was asleep/wasted/pissed. if my dog hadn't kept licking me til i woke up i wouldnt be here now, unfortunatly it wasn't the warning i needed. 2 weeks in was lovin it .
anyway beat the coke/crack aint touched it in months and dont even think about it now but i cant beat the brown, doin about 1.8g a day,were getting v.good afghan smack at moment which makes it even harder to contemplate quitting (first time i've propper gouged 4 ages).
guess i'll get there when i'm ready,
cheerz all :\
 
^^ Welcome to The Dark Side ungovernable :) <3

Jblazingphoenix100 said:
I haven't been diagnosed because I don't want just some other fucking label - there's too many in this world, and want to believe I can help myself, with a lil help from my friends.

Right now - I'm irritated, trying to get a new job because I have lost ANOTHER one through not getting a grip in one of my very low lows...and well, I'm pretty sick of it.
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Hi James, thanks for the official intro :)
I agree that sometimes a formal diagnosis isn't always helpful, but if you feel that you might need professional help for your depression then you shouldn't hesitate to seek it. Mental illness is slowly becoming less taboo and you shouldn't feel weak or inadequate by seeking help <3

Jblazingphoenix100 said:
hope I won't be posting in here that much
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Ain't nothin wrong with posting here in TDS ;) This place can be more uplifting than you might think!
 
Hi, I'm Lolie. I recently turned 50 and my drug of choice for abuse for 30 odd years was alcohol. I was diagnosed last year with bipolar disorder and an unexpected side effect of pursuing treatment for that was a change in my relationship with alcohol.

I haven't abused alcohol for over a year now and I guess I'm here because I'm not sure what that means in terms of the future. I didn't actively try to reduce my alcohol intake and it's taken no resolve on my part to do so and because of that I worry that the desire to binge may return in the future and catch me by surprise - it's like the change came about too easily and I don't really trust it yet.
 
Lolie said:
Hi, I'm Lolie. I recently turned 50 and my drug of choice for abuse for 30 odd years was alcohol. I was diagnosed last year with bipolar disorder and an unexpected side effect of pursuing treatment for that was a change in my relationship with alcohol.

I haven't abused alcohol for over a year now and I guess I'm here because I'm not sure what that means in terms of the future. I didn't actively try to reduce my alcohol intake and it's taken no resolve on my part to do so and because of that I worry that the desire to binge may return in the future and catch me by surprise - it's like the change came about too easily and I don't really trust it yet.
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Congrats lollie....saty away from booze . I have seen many people go dawn that road b 4. Sounds like your doing good . Keep it up!!!! :):):):):)
 
Hi Lolie, welcome to The Dark Side <3
So awesome to hear you're sober, I bet you're feeling heaps better for it.
P.S. I'm from Sydney too! :)
 
Thanks for the welcome. I'm feeling heaps better for having my moods stabilised - the not wanting to binge on alcohol anymore is an unexpected bonus. I'm still startled sometimes by how different my thinking is these days.

It's only now that it's not distorted by hypomania, depression or alcohol that I can really see just how fucked up my thinking was before and just how much self-loathing I was carrying around. I'm content with who I am now and that sets up a kind of positive feedback loop. I'll almost certainly have to be on mood stabilisers for the rest of my life, but for me that's a small price to pay for being able to wake up of a morning liking who I am and go to bed of a night content with how my day has gone.

The dark side of "recovery" has been estrangement from many people who were previously in my social circle. Accepting that those friendships depended on me remaining dysfunctional was a pretty bitter pill to swallow at first even if it's really obvious now.

I don't know who I'll be at the end of this process of change, but I'm starting to feel some measure of confidence that I'll like that woman - and that's enough for now.
 
Jesusgreen said:
I'm Matt, though most people on here and similar forums know me as Jesus or JG due to my name. I'm British, but currently living in Poland. Friends, family, music, drugs and the world around are the things that are most important to me, and although this is TDS, overall I'm very happy with my life, but we all have times when everything gets too much, and it's one of those times now, so thought I'd pop in and get to know you all.

Peace :)
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Hi Matt, I'm Matt. Used to live in Poland. Just wanted to say hi.
 
You've probably seen me around if you read Drug Culture. Tryptamine*Dreamer/Paul.
I am severely depressed and have horrifying panic attacks that can last many hours at worst, quite frequently. Sometimes I burn myself with cigarettes and a soldering iron. Taking a break from that until I can get rid of the infections I have caused with cigs.

I am probably a lost cause. I stopped hoping a long time ago.
 
Hey T*D, I've seen you around the place. Welcome to TDS <3
You are NOT a lost cause, no-one is, ever. It doesn't matter how badly you think you're doing, there is always hope and opportunity for change. I firmly believe that.
How long have you been depressed?
 
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