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Introduce Yourself

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Wow darkz, is that hard for you to live your every-day life? Made me think of this thread.
Anyway, welcome to The Dark Side, I look forward to hearing more of your story.
Do you plan to try and quit heroin again soon? What affect is it having on your life?
 
i'm new here to TDS and BL. i'm a 23 year old male from Houston, Tx. i've been using for about 12 years now. my DOC's are LSD and marijuana. i suffer from depression, social anxiety, bi polar II disorder and i'm a former pillhead (mostly xanax, ecstacy & codeine) so i figure i could learn some stuff coming in here.
 
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I will do a new intro :)
My name is Alexander Fritz Dietrich Marshall, I was born in Zurich (Switzerland), I now live in Newfoundland. I am an amphetamine and benzo addict, I joined BL to talk to like minded folk and to get advice, I got just that! = D
cheers
 
Bob Gnarly said:
i'm new here to TDS and BL. i'm a 23 year old male from Houston, Tx. i've been using for about 12 years now. my DOC's are LSD and marijuana. i suffer from depression, social anxiety, bi polar II disorder and i'm a former pillhead (mostly xanax, ecstacy & codeine) so i figure i could learn some stuff coming in here.
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Hi Bob, welcome to The Dark Side :)
It sounds like there's a lot of info in here that will be of interest/use to you, I hope so. I look forward to seeing you around.

Hi gorgoroth! <3
 
hi.

i'm a 26 year old guy from houston who has been involved with drugs and alcohol since i was 12. nowadays i struggle with opiates, primarily norco and OC. thankfully i have never been introduced to heroin considering how much i enjoy pain killers and my tendency to take my use to dangerous levels.

i joined bluelight last month although i had lurked around a bit before i finally signed up. before today i only posted in the "Other Drugs" forum as it provided a lot of help and information about overcoming my addiction. as we all know, overcoming addiction is extremely difficult and (cliche alert) not a sprint but a marathon. when i signed up here i knew it was time for me to make some serious changes in my life and that all starts with not being physically and mentally dependent on opiates. like i said, i had been messing around with drugs since i was relatively young so i had tasted opiates before a year and a half ago when i actually became addicted but i believe because they weren't easily accessible to me i didn't develop a habit as a youngster. however i did drink quite a bit throughout high school which is kinda ironic considering once i started taking opiates on a regular basis i essentially quit drinking altogether.. i didn't enjoy it anymore.

i've been clean for 16 days. prior to a couple weeks ago it had been about 6 months since i had gone even a day without any norcos or oxy. i primarily abuse norco (around 350mg or so a day) as it is just more accessible for me. there are hundreds of pain management clinics in houston that will write prescriptions to norco without much thought but are much more reluctant to give oxy.

i have found bluelight to be an incredible aid in me kicking my addiction, especially since i chose to do it without any help other than a few benzos to help curb the worst of the withdrawals. it took 12 days before i finally woke up and wasn't still feeling the aches or depressed. before coming here and reading about the years that other people struggle with addiction and their own horrific withdrawal stories i would have thought 12 days to be an incredibly long time. this may sound bad but knowing that it could be much worse through reading various stories on this board has made quitting much more manageable.

i have come to terms with the fact that i will likely struggle with this addiction for the rest of my life in the sense that i will be tempted from time to time and will want to go through that escape hatch whenever life's stresses are thrown my way. thankfully i have a caring family who i can speak openly to about my problems who are always willing to help me whenever possible but don't enable my abuse. i also want to have a family and simply live life rather than depriving myself of this world's precious opportunities that most of the time you likely won't get back. i try to keep these things in mind when i have cravings. those thoughts as well as the shame i would feel with relapse and the disappointment it would cause with my family, my dad in particular.

that's essentially my story. i hope that i am able to help at least one person on this board in a similar way that other users here have helped me. i have noticed that the more removed i get from my addiction the more i have enjoyed coming here to provide whatever i can for the benefit of others.

take care.
 
Hey ppl,
My friend (theartofwar) pointed me to this site, specifically this forum. Just wanted to drop a line and say I'll be around. This place looks legit so far. Good suggestion, buddy.
 
Hi asouthern, welcome and thanks for sharing your story with us <3

And welcome TJL, nice suggestion taow! :)
 
n3ophy7e said:
Wow darkz, is that hard for you to live your every-day life? Made me think of this thread.
Anyway, welcome to The Dark Side, I look forward to hearing more of your story.
Do you plan to try and quit heroin again soon? What affect is it having on your life?
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Yes, I hope I can quit. I'm going to try again once my friends license gets suspended. Hes on his 30 day DUI license.

Heroin has made me extremely depressed. I have lost all ambition and I see myself dead within 5 years to be honest. My home life is still ok but starting to go downhill, quickly. I am drifting away from friends which is making me lonelier and I am getting suicidal thoughts alot now. I need to get help.
 
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hi all,

been on bluelight since last year but have only recently come across the dark side. I am male and am in my mid 30's and live in west oz! my doc are ecstacy, lsd and meth but have tried most things except h. starting smoking weed in late teens but never really developed an appetite for other things until my early 30's when i had given up weed for a few years and overcame my fear of other drugs.

have been thinking lately about starting a thread which is titled " is there more to life? " ask this question as all i seem to want to do is take drugs and get fucked up. seems to have been this way for last year at least.

i work away a lot and for up to a month at a time so i do have breaks but everytime i get home i just go on benders and get fucked up have a few days to recover and then go back to work and repeat. that has been my life for the last 12-18 months. friends say get a hobby but nothing else seems to interest me as much or is as much fun.

but have found in last few months with friends moving away, quitting drugs or getting in relationships that i seem to be the last one standing leading the same lifestyle.

i am single i know which contributes as i havent got that someone to keep me grounded like friends do and an introverted sort of person so making new friends is not easy. i work hard and make good money and enjoy what i do but believe i work to live not live to work and know there is more to life but just havent found it yet.

not sure if this is the right place to post this so feel free to move it mods!
 
Hello TDSers,

I feel a bit strange posting an intro thread because I've been on bluelight for over a year and a half but I never really veered into TDS until recently and I think I'll be sticking around. Some of you who frequent OD may recognize me because I would generally hang out over there.

About me... as I say in a lot of my threads (for the ethos) I'm studying to be a certified alcohol and drug counselor and I'm very passionate about this field. Unlike most of my peers, I care a lot about harm reduction and don't ever tell people they are wrong, using is immoral, they are weak, etc. I think people should have the information and equipment (needles, filters, etc.) to remain safe when they use but when they want or need to get clean, I want to be there to help them.

I am extremely fascinated by personality and have studied the Myers-Briggs and Keirsey systems to better understand how people think and perhaps more importantly, what accounts for certain fundamental differences. In general I'm very interesting in psychology and after working in addictions counseling for a few years I'll decide if I want to stay in that area, move on to another field in psychology or perhaps go for the MD in psychiatry as medicine and psychopharmacology also interest me greatly.

I'm really hoping to get to know many of you here and I've included my AIM s/n here for a reason. I am always willing to listen and will do virtually anything I can do to help people who are in any sort of pain (I also have chronic pain and am versed on related subjects) whether that be physical or emotional.

Anyway, I really like this forum and I'll likely be sticking around for a while! I hope that's ok with everyone.

take care TDSers
 
^^ Welcome to TDS C2tL <3

That is fantastic that you're studying to be a drug & alcohol counsellor. It sounds like your knowledge and experience will be very valuable here in TDS. Thanks for popping in, I hope you stick around :)

sir pacman said:
i work away a lot and for up to a month at a time so i do have breaks but everytime i get home i just go on benders and get fucked up have a few days to recover and then go back to work and repeat. that has been my life for the last 12-18 months. friends say get a hobby but nothing else seems to interest me as much or is as much fun.
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First of all, welcome to TDS :) <3

Do you by any chance do fly-in-fly-out work in Karratha?? I was listening to a story on triplej's Hack program about that exact situation of FIFO's doing what you do (sorry if you're not a FIFO, but it sounds like a very similar situation).

Nonetheless, it does sound like a difficult cycle for you to be in, working so hard for long periods of time then having all that time and money to spend when you're on that week-off. I dare say though, that the "magic" of the benders will wear off. I know they did for me, after a few years of a similar cycle of drug use as yours. Do you get to spend much time with your friends when you're home? Do they take drugs as well?
 
i have never been here b4 but I am a 200 pound male trying to find out how much demerol it takes to kill some one my size
 
^^ Hi kevin, you know we can't tell you the answer to that question.
What's troubling you man?? There's always a way to solve your problems without suicide. Check out the suicide thread here in The Dark Side, or feel free to post your own thread and we can talk it through <3
 
kevanleary, I hav been seriously suicidal many times and I'm grateful that none of my plans for causing my demise ever worked out. If you are feeling like you are at all likely to act on your desire to end your life please go to the Emergency Department of a hospital or call emergency services- often 911 in the US. I used to know the ES #'s in Australia and GB but in me old age I have forgotten. Could some TDS folk from other regions re-post emergency numbers for their region?

Also there are hotlines available in many areas that are very helpful when it is not an immanent emergency but an imediate concern. kevan feel free to pm me if you think I could help.
 
n3ophy7e said:
^^ <3

Do you by any chance do fly-in-fly-out work in Karratha?? I was listening to a story on triplej's Hack program about that exact situation of FIFO's doing what you do (sorry if you're not a FIFO, but it sounds like a very similar situation).

Nonetheless, it does sound like a difficult cycle for you to be in, working so hard for long periods of time then having all that time and money to spend when you're on that week-off. I dare say though, that the "magic" of the benders will wear off. I know they did for me, after a few years of a similar cycle of drug use as yours. Do you get to spend much time with your friends when you're home? Do they take drugs as well?
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Yes do fifo work most of the time and have worked in karratha but dont at present.

That is the hard thing u work 7 days 12 hrs a day for weeks at a time and when i come home need to blow off steam as believe me u do go crazy working those hours with not much to look foward to except counting days down to go to freedom.

I acknowledge that the magic of benders has worn off slightly but still keep going. The funny thing is I love being busted up the day after benders as although i feel like shit and its hard to think. I like feeling that way as I feel alive with my body telling me that something significant must have been consumed to feel that way,

Try spend time with friends but hard as when I am away a lot of things happen that I miss and have only the weekend to really catch up as all my friends work. Most my friends take drugs but I probably take the most when home as can afford a lot but obviously dont take as regular as some friends. But in last 6 months all of my friends have quietened down in regard to taking drugs due to their changing circumstances.
 
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