I should probably start by writing a bit about myself. I'm a 24-year-old unemployed transsexual girl with major depression, borderline personality disorder, a heavy methamphetamine addiction, and a benzodiazepine dependence. Enough baggage to fill a cargo plane! ![:\](https://bluelight.org/xf/BL_Images/Orig_Emoji/wrygrin.gif "wry grin :\")
I live in a New Zealand city of about 200,000 people. I studied psychology for a while at university, before having to drop out because of all the crap going on in my life. Maybe one day I'll return to finish to degree, once I've got my shit together in a neat little pile. I have no idea what I want to do with my life career-wise, but frankly I don't really care at the moment. I've got bigger things to worry about.
I've been smoking methamphetamine for two years (at this time of writing), and have been using it especially heavily over the past year. I'll use whenever I can get it, however I can get it. My peak usage has been two grams of pure crystal meth every day of the week, but I'm now trying to reduce that (and I am making some progress there, with the help of a drug counsellor).
I was first prescribed clonazepam at 18 for anxiety and panic attacks, and have been taking them regularly for around six years. I'm currently on 6mg a day (mostly just as a maintenance dose, to prevent withdrawals) but I do have the odd moment when I abuse them and take much greater doses. I have an insane tolerance to benzos for someone with a body mass index of only 15-16, and I'm very dependant on them. If I don't have my clonaz, I get very sick indeed. One time, after stopping cold turkey, I had a full blown seizure (convulsing, foaming at the mouth, and all that jazz) and woke up in the emergency department.
Anyway, that basically sums up me and my issues. I tend to be incredibly lazy with blogs, but hopefully I'll write more soon! :D
I live in a New Zealand city of about 200,000 people. I studied psychology for a while at university, before having to drop out because of all the crap going on in my life. Maybe one day I'll return to finish to degree, once I've got my shit together in a neat little pile. I have no idea what I want to do with my life career-wise, but frankly I don't really care at the moment. I've got bigger things to worry about.
I've been smoking methamphetamine for two years (at this time of writing), and have been using it especially heavily over the past year. I'll use whenever I can get it, however I can get it. My peak usage has been two grams of pure crystal meth every day of the week, but I'm now trying to reduce that (and I am making some progress there, with the help of a drug counsellor).
I was first prescribed clonazepam at 18 for anxiety and panic attacks, and have been taking them regularly for around six years. I'm currently on 6mg a day (mostly just as a maintenance dose, to prevent withdrawals) but I do have the odd moment when I abuse them and take much greater doses. I have an insane tolerance to benzos for someone with a body mass index of only 15-16, and I'm very dependant on them. If I don't have my clonaz, I get very sick indeed. One time, after stopping cold turkey, I had a full blown seizure (convulsing, foaming at the mouth, and all that jazz) and woke up in the emergency department.
Anyway, that basically sums up me and my issues. I tend to be incredibly lazy with blogs, but hopefully I'll write more soon! :D
