It's been nearly a year before I took LSD for the first, at age 16. I remember it like it was yesterday, and I don't think I go a day without thinking about the experience.
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Me and my friend at the beach, ending up leaving mid-day, bored with nothing to do. And the friend out of the blue said "Hey I got a guy with some acid, never done it, wanna try it?". Needless to say, I called my mom and told her I was staying at his place. We showed up at the park, the guy gave us both a drop, and that was the beginning what feels like my new life.
It began with laughs, almost in the same way mushrooms do, but this was more playful, happier, more comforting, almost saturated feel. I felt like I was drifting off into a dream, that the silliest things were funny. Hilarious. Colors began to look so appealing, full, and strong. And I finally drifted fully into that dream. It was a world of colors, sheer crystalline rainbows, vines wrapping themselves around trees with mechanical parts moving harmoniously. And it just kept getting better and better, I'd never felt so good in my entire life.
The best part, I had a sober friend driving , another sober friend next to him, and three trippers in the back of the convertible (another friend joined part way). Just driving around, and the driver said "you wanna hit the highway??". At first I thought no, but quickly realized it would be a great idea. He turned on some the song Grand Theft Ecstasy - Feed Me, and flying down that freeway screaming at the top of our lungs, thinking I might die, or I might not, but it doesn't matter because this is life, and my body is coursing with it. I felt as if I might cry it was so beautiful, there was nothing more beautiful than this.
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This was the most peculiar part of my trip
We ended up at a beach across from a boardwalk next to rail road tracks. Perfectly in the middle, I could look across the water, across the boardwalk and the sun was setting. We skipped rocks, laughed, ate the blackberries from the trees, spoke but the words sounded like mush, but I understood them fully. Almost as if I could just read their minds rather than hear them speak.
And then, I stood, fixated by the sun setting. And then time froze.
Molecules and futuristic genetic-looking things burst from the sun, constantly, powerful rays of molecules and beams of energy. And the sun became an Eye. An all seeing eye, and it spoke to me.
What had been slightly nagging me during the trip, very slightly, was my other drug use. My willingness to smoke cigarettes, take pills like opiates and adderall, even do harder drugs like cocaine/white powders, without really stopping to think about.
It told me, that things like those I described above, are unhealthy and encompass negative energy. That those drugs, the white powders, will one way or another negatively impact my life, and will do nothing but hinder me from fully understanding myself, my destiny and the world around me. That the only "drugs" (or more, life enhancers) that encompass positive energy are psychedelics. That I should try to cut down on drinking, and even smoking weed too much can have its negative effects, MDMA is okay once in a while if it for good and positive use.
It then told me I can forgive myself and start again, not that I was angry at myself or that it was angry, just trying to have me realize my potential, that I can't let these drugs hold me back.
I looked down at my hand, and a dark aura, negative energy, was being pushed and purged by a a force of golden, rainbow energy and DNA. My body was flowing with positive energy. The dark aura shattered, I had purged the negative, bad drugs, from my soul. I would never again partake in those. The eye seemed to smile, it closed, and I returned to reality.
____________________________________________________________________
That next day I went to the fair, with a bunch of my closest friends, and the entire time, I felt as if I was going to burst into tears over how beautiful this world is, and that I will never be the same, I am changed forever.
My trip taught me these things
1. I have the potential to be whoever I want in this world, take on any destiny.
2. I must not, or at least try to not, partake in recreational drugs that have little or no positive energy to derive.
3. I should pursue my love for electronic music, it is a passion that makes me unique.
4. My ex-girlfriend, who I had been on and off with over the last two years, is having a profound negative effect on my life. And although it may be painful, I need to just let go and move on.
5. I need to try hard in school so I can have a better chance at a living a happy and successful life.
6. Family and friends are the root of happiness, and although I feel antisocial at times, they are the root of happiness.
7. Reality TV is rotting the brains of millions.
Since then...
I have not done any of those drugs. I still drink, smoke marijuana, and have taken MDMA once (But it was a positive experience).
I have continued to pursue my love of electronic music, have taken on producing and have finally lined up a gig at a club in a nearby city.
I finally cut all ties with my ex, it had to be done, and life has been less stressful and overall better because of it.
My grades were already good, but have gotten even better as I got a 3.7GPA this last year, and received great marks on my AP testing.
I value my friends and family more than ever.
And eh, I still hate reality TV
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Is this sort of, change, normal? This enormous impact on my life, the feeling of starting all over again. That anything before that experience feels light-years away. I am new.
And it is summer again, and I feel that I should take LSD once again.
But on the other hand, I'm not sure if I should...
Would that, reset everything again. Would it start an entirely new chapter like it did last time? If it doesn't, will I feel let down by it? Am I ready for a new chapter? Is there still more to gain from LSD?
I just long to return to that world once again, the real world. Not just for fun, but I want to explore further. Such an intense expereince, it's almost feels like it will take courage to hop back in for the ride and resolution.
Thoughts? Advice?
______________________________________________________________________
Me and my friend at the beach, ending up leaving mid-day, bored with nothing to do. And the friend out of the blue said "Hey I got a guy with some acid, never done it, wanna try it?". Needless to say, I called my mom and told her I was staying at his place. We showed up at the park, the guy gave us both a drop, and that was the beginning what feels like my new life.
It began with laughs, almost in the same way mushrooms do, but this was more playful, happier, more comforting, almost saturated feel. I felt like I was drifting off into a dream, that the silliest things were funny. Hilarious. Colors began to look so appealing, full, and strong. And I finally drifted fully into that dream. It was a world of colors, sheer crystalline rainbows, vines wrapping themselves around trees with mechanical parts moving harmoniously. And it just kept getting better and better, I'd never felt so good in my entire life.
The best part, I had a sober friend driving , another sober friend next to him, and three trippers in the back of the convertible (another friend joined part way). Just driving around, and the driver said "you wanna hit the highway??". At first I thought no, but quickly realized it would be a great idea. He turned on some the song Grand Theft Ecstasy - Feed Me, and flying down that freeway screaming at the top of our lungs, thinking I might die, or I might not, but it doesn't matter because this is life, and my body is coursing with it. I felt as if I might cry it was so beautiful, there was nothing more beautiful than this.
______________________________________________________________________________________________
This was the most peculiar part of my trip
We ended up at a beach across from a boardwalk next to rail road tracks. Perfectly in the middle, I could look across the water, across the boardwalk and the sun was setting. We skipped rocks, laughed, ate the blackberries from the trees, spoke but the words sounded like mush, but I understood them fully. Almost as if I could just read their minds rather than hear them speak.
And then, I stood, fixated by the sun setting. And then time froze.
Molecules and futuristic genetic-looking things burst from the sun, constantly, powerful rays of molecules and beams of energy. And the sun became an Eye. An all seeing eye, and it spoke to me.
What had been slightly nagging me during the trip, very slightly, was my other drug use. My willingness to smoke cigarettes, take pills like opiates and adderall, even do harder drugs like cocaine/white powders, without really stopping to think about.
It told me, that things like those I described above, are unhealthy and encompass negative energy. That those drugs, the white powders, will one way or another negatively impact my life, and will do nothing but hinder me from fully understanding myself, my destiny and the world around me. That the only "drugs" (or more, life enhancers) that encompass positive energy are psychedelics. That I should try to cut down on drinking, and even smoking weed too much can have its negative effects, MDMA is okay once in a while if it for good and positive use.
It then told me I can forgive myself and start again, not that I was angry at myself or that it was angry, just trying to have me realize my potential, that I can't let these drugs hold me back.
I looked down at my hand, and a dark aura, negative energy, was being pushed and purged by a a force of golden, rainbow energy and DNA. My body was flowing with positive energy. The dark aura shattered, I had purged the negative, bad drugs, from my soul. I would never again partake in those. The eye seemed to smile, it closed, and I returned to reality.
____________________________________________________________________
That next day I went to the fair, with a bunch of my closest friends, and the entire time, I felt as if I was going to burst into tears over how beautiful this world is, and that I will never be the same, I am changed forever.
My trip taught me these things
1. I have the potential to be whoever I want in this world, take on any destiny.
2. I must not, or at least try to not, partake in recreational drugs that have little or no positive energy to derive.
3. I should pursue my love for electronic music, it is a passion that makes me unique.
4. My ex-girlfriend, who I had been on and off with over the last two years, is having a profound negative effect on my life. And although it may be painful, I need to just let go and move on.
5. I need to try hard in school so I can have a better chance at a living a happy and successful life.
6. Family and friends are the root of happiness, and although I feel antisocial at times, they are the root of happiness.
7. Reality TV is rotting the brains of millions.
Since then...
I have not done any of those drugs. I still drink, smoke marijuana, and have taken MDMA once (But it was a positive experience).
I have continued to pursue my love of electronic music, have taken on producing and have finally lined up a gig at a club in a nearby city.
I finally cut all ties with my ex, it had to be done, and life has been less stressful and overall better because of it.
My grades were already good, but have gotten even better as I got a 3.7GPA this last year, and received great marks on my AP testing.
I value my friends and family more than ever.
And eh, I still hate reality TV
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Is this sort of, change, normal? This enormous impact on my life, the feeling of starting all over again. That anything before that experience feels light-years away. I am new.
And it is summer again, and I feel that I should take LSD once again.
But on the other hand, I'm not sure if I should...
Would that, reset everything again. Would it start an entirely new chapter like it did last time? If it doesn't, will I feel let down by it? Am I ready for a new chapter? Is there still more to gain from LSD?
I just long to return to that world once again, the real world. Not just for fun, but I want to explore further. Such an intense expereince, it's almost feels like it will take courage to hop back in for the ride and resolution.
Thoughts? Advice?
