Ataraxia
Bluelighter
I hear them saying "Was she born that way?" Jealousy... So what am I supposed to do? Want it like everyone else does... I am of course referring to mental health... But I don't want to turn into someone else. If I was meant to have a mind this fried, then why change it? Do I want to get better? I don't know what better is anymore. I'm afraid it'll fuck up our relationship, but I can do that on my own... That is all I have now. I cannot comprehend risking anything that may cause me to lose it. And I'm scared... Because I really don't know what tomorrow is going to be like. And I don't know what to do, because I can't pretend anymore. Nothing in my head is right. That's an understatement... Focus... Anyone want to be my obsession? Anyone want to piss me off? Anyone want to draw out one of the million and seven emotions racing through me at any given time? I am so very afraid of myself and lately of everyone else but you...
