I write in my journal a lot. Most of it is just superficial whining over my daily life, or how I can't sleep, but sometimes I write some interesting stuff.
I was rereading my journal from last year last night, when I really started going to parties and found this entry. It was from the first time I went to an afterhours club in my city. Didn't touch anything that night, but observed a lot.
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Jan 30 2000 at 4:44am
Well, it's about day 7334 or so of my life, and I experienced a true, true 'counter' underground culture tonight.
My night only began when I left the house at 10:30pm. Now, 6 hours later, I feel more clear, rational and intelligent than ever.
(deletia: going to a friends party, then to a casino downtown)
At 2am, I found myself in a parking lot downtown, outside "tony's tailor shop" waiting for a door to open. I was with all my guy friends. The place; Sublime. Mood; surreal and somewhat underwaterish.
I mean, all these people were taking some sort of drug and they were themselves, only more mellow and yet more energetic, friendly and ... needier. I was confronted with my own wonderment and problem. Should I try it? It's so easy to be brave and swallow a pill theoretically. But, when your $25 is in your tiny sweaty hand, and the pill with some logo on it is in someone's pocket, it's different.
But;
Maybe I will. It's a state, perception, level I want to see.
So, there was this tiny room, and it was full of dancers. No one's trying to meet other people just to bang bodies. The place is still half full at 4am. You look around and wonder who is and who isn't.
And you realize you can't tell and really don't want to know.
I was rereading my journal from last year last night, when I really started going to parties and found this entry. It was from the first time I went to an afterhours club in my city. Didn't touch anything that night, but observed a lot.
---------
Jan 30 2000 at 4:44am
Well, it's about day 7334 or so of my life, and I experienced a true, true 'counter' underground culture tonight.
My night only began when I left the house at 10:30pm. Now, 6 hours later, I feel more clear, rational and intelligent than ever.
(deletia: going to a friends party, then to a casino downtown)
At 2am, I found myself in a parking lot downtown, outside "tony's tailor shop" waiting for a door to open. I was with all my guy friends. The place; Sublime. Mood; surreal and somewhat underwaterish.
I mean, all these people were taking some sort of drug and they were themselves, only more mellow and yet more energetic, friendly and ... needier. I was confronted with my own wonderment and problem. Should I try it? It's so easy to be brave and swallow a pill theoretically. But, when your $25 is in your tiny sweaty hand, and the pill with some logo on it is in someone's pocket, it's different.
But;
Maybe I will. It's a state, perception, level I want to see.
So, there was this tiny room, and it was full of dancers. No one's trying to meet other people just to bang bodies. The place is still half full at 4am. You look around and wonder who is and who isn't.
And you realize you can't tell and really don't want to know.
