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Depression Instant depression after missing a 15mg oxycodone dose

bookshelf1

bookshelf1

Bluelighter
Joined
Oct 27, 2022
Messages
217
tonight i was reading a book about computer science and slowly i started to think about philosophical life questions and then i felt like my whole life is absurd and i started to feel more tired about my whole life i couldn't continue reading in my everyday book schedule.
i went near the window and stared to the darkness of night.after couple minutes of thinking and no result i came back and ate some fruit then i checked my drug note page that i write everyday all my doses then i noticed there is one dose less in tonight's notes than last night.it was just 15mg oxycodone.
i am surprised how not taking a single 15mg pill(half pill) can make a life that sad and unbearable....
i had multiple types of depression before but i didn't expect that a physical need of an addiction can result in such enormous low mood.i am thinking if my previous depressions could be healed by sticking to a drug habit or not.
at that time i was thinking how worthless is my life and i knew it before and i have thought well about it but i was happy enough to not to think much about it.i guess if i don't use drugs, depression is always in ambush behind my neck.
(2022-12-14)
last night i couldn't sleep because i couldn't think other than suicide.the only thing that made my mind convinced to forget suicide was a hope for using heroin...i haven't used it for awhile and i thought maybe using it can make me happy again because oxycodone for me isn't that powerful to stick with it even with no tolerance.so it was a good distraction for my mind.
i loose it,i suicide.
thats how hopeless i am... and i am thinking if that didn't work i should use GHB again it was drunkening me last time i used it so i can't use it if it make me drunk again.cause i don't like that feeling.
the last option in my mind is magic mushroom and dmt which is dangerous for my mental condition.then the only option would be electoshock.
i am not that lover of this world to be stick with electro shock every 6 month to be able to continue my life.and meanwhile all my family is against drug use and everyone tries to stop me.
i don't have any good short time goal in my life,so i need to put drugs in that position to be able to continue.otherwise my life can't be tolerated.
i am now high on 45mg oxy,it feels good like a weak heroin...i am trying to make the high more enjoyable by daydreaming.
i think suicide is an unpreventable choice in my life...i think i came to this world to do suicide... i have suicidal tendency and i enjoy listening to songs about suicide.its in my blood.
but i can make delay.i am just trying to live more...(2022-12-15)
 
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That is just how opioid withdrawal works. Even if you don’t have a full physical habit - the first sign of mu downregulation is the unbearable depression when missing mu agonists. I would strongly suggest clearing off of opioids for several months if you don’t have a full physical habit already.
 
cdin said:
That is just how opioid withdrawal works. Even if you don’t have a full physical habit - the first sign of mu downregulation is the unbearable depression when missing mu agonists. I would strongly suggest clearing off of opioids for several months if you don’t have a full physical habit already.
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i'm not a new user i had withdrawals before but it wasn't like that.
i guess it happened because i had a sad background in my unconscious today.
and what kind of suggestion is that?i guess you didn't read what said,i don't have any other value in my life and the reason i got depression is i didn't use opioid then you tell me don't use?
 
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bookshelf1 said:
i'm not a new user i had withdrawals before but it wasn't like that.
i guess it happened because i had a sad background in my unconscious today.
and what kind of suggestion is that?i guess you didn't read what said,i don't have any other value in my life and the reason i got depression is i didn't use opioid then you tell me don't use?
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im telling you the root of the depression is the mu receptor downregulation. Especially if you have had habits off and on etc.
as I went further on years in my habits, the mental dysregulation began to far outweigh the physical, especially as i kept tiny habit (5-15mg) which seems to be kind of where you are at.
If you want to continue in the cycle, by all means do. I'm just trying to get you to see a wider view than the one you are currently occupying. Black seed oil and Ultra low dose naltrexone (30-50mcg with opioid doses)
does wonders to prune/upregulate mu receptors over time.
I was just stuck myself in such a cycle of depression etc., and did a full titration in this manner. I ended up doing a multi day medium dose ibogaine protocol at the very end, but had titrated myself off the opioids completely.
but it's a chicken and egg thing. you are depressed, so you take opioids, the opioids downregulate mu and addict, meaning you stop the opioids and are even more depressed.. it's a feedback loop cycle. it will take either something like ibo
or a few months of abstinence with the super low dose naltrexone therapy to get things right again, but imo it's worth it.

as always, do what thou wilt. I can only offer what worked for me through a similar experience. no judgements, i took opioids for decades.
 
neversickanymore said:
www.cuimc.columbia.edu

Opioid Receptors: A New Target for Antidepressants?

Opioid receptors in the brain are responsible for the antidepressant effects of tianeptine, a new study from CUIMC researchers has found.
www.cuimc.columbia.edu www.cuimc.columbia.edu
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Note their finding of:

The researchers found that tianeptine also reduces pain but does not result in tolerance or withdrawal like morphine

is very, very wrong.

It produces tolerance and withdrawal just like morphine. In the article itself (not that summary, the actual journal article) you'd think they'd have done the research before they published that "finding". I was reading the underlying article they are referring to a few week ago (I've read it before) and can't believe the laziness of the researchers.

But yes, MOR agonism is essentially to its antidepressant effect.
 
negrogesic said:
Note their finding of:

The researchers found that tianeptine also reduces pain but does not result in tolerance or withdrawal like morphine

is very, very wrong.

It produces tolerance and withdrawal just like morphine. In the article itself (not that summary, the actual journal article) you'd think they'd have done the research before they published that "finding". I was reading the underlying article they are referring to a few week ago (I've read it before) and can't believe the laziness of the researchers.

But yes, MOR agonism is essentially to its antidepressant effect.it
Click to expand...
I’ve had some friends come off of very high dose tianeptine abuse and the withdrawals were insane. Moreover it’s more than just ope stuff, and causes much more tolerance than it should have any right to. I’m specifically thinking of a friend coming off a gram+ that basically could not get dope or anything to work. Almost like a blockade had occurred. Very weird material tianeptine. Definitely addictive
 
cdin said:
I’ve had some friends come off of very high dose tianeptine abuse and the withdrawals were insane. Moreover it’s more than just ope stuff, and causes much more tolerance than it should have any right to. I’m specifically thinking of a friend coming off a gram+ that basically could not get dope or anything to work. Almost like a blockade had occurred. Very weird material tianeptine. Definitely addictive
Click to expand...

Yeah I had a run in with it back in 2017, got hooked on 1.5g a day for around 4 months, and kicked it, tried kratom but it didn't really do much of anything for the withdrawal. Had to resort to 4 consecutive days of benzo use to cope, which is something I really avoid doing giving the horrible rebound I get from benzos due to past addiction.

The withdrawal is severe but surprisingly short lived, with the acute withdrawal lasting only 5 days or so. Also, the withdrawal itself isn't quite as severe as a proportional amount of oxycodone (1.5g of tianeptine feels like ~240mg of oxycodone, with each 500mg of tianeptine being around 80mg of oxycodone in terms of effect).

I actually had alot of fun on tianeptine. Unlike most opioids I've abused, tianeptine led to interesting and memorable experiences given how strongly stimulating it is. Then again the time period I was using tianeptine (2016 and early 2017, mostly off and on) was a particularly interesting time period in my life. I was doing alot of lecturing then and taught undergrad classes absolutely wasted on tianeptine, scratching my face, pinpointed pupils, really brought out the bass in my voice, I loved the stuff.

Horribly addictive stuff, at the end withdrawal symptoms began manifesting just 3 hours after dosing (that's when I threw in the towel). And of course each time you get high on tianeptine you are technically overdosing on an antidepressant medication.
 
1.5g of tianeptine feels like ~240mg of oxycodone, with each 500mg of tianeptine being around 80mg of oxycodone in terms of effect).
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not questioning. Please post relevant links so its backed up when you find a secound. I'm not questioning you.. just consider backing your conclusion so the transfer of knowledge is backed so people can easily confirm it.
 
neversickanymore said:
not questioning. Please post relevant links so its backed up when you find a secound. I'm not questioning you.. just back your conclusion so the transfer of knowledge is backed so people can easily confirm it.
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How can that possibly be backed up by a link? That is purely anedoctal. As stated: “feels like”. I find that 170mg tianeptine sulfate feels like 5mg oxycodone but Im not the next guy. ALso there are different forms of tia with varying pharmacokinets and therefore dosages
 
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cdin said:
I’ve had some friends come off of very high dose tianeptine abuse and the withdrawals were insane. Moreover it’s more than just ope stuff, and causes much more tolerance than it should have any right to. I’m specifically thinking of a friend coming off a gram+ that basically could not get dope or anything to work. Almost like a blockade had occurred. Very weird material tianeptine. Definitely addictive
Click to expand...
That blockade deal is weird af and legit. Tianeptine usage truly fucked up any Kratom dose I would take within 3 days of the Tia dose. I always called tianeptine a “competitive” Mu agonist
 
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