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Insanity

C

CELEBROS

Bluelighter
Joined
May 14, 2001
Messages
7
Hey everyone, this is my first posting, and I just wanted to know what ya'll thought of my stuff.
___________________________
Sitting here
Reflecting on those colors of my life swirling in the Spring breeze,
With the choices I've made both good and evil
And my battles with fate
Why? I? Alone
Different, Yet alike in that deep-rooted insanity which is the human psyche.
A deep chasm within the skull, harboring darkness and abysmal things in a halo of pleasant light and civilization.
Beneath the silvery reflection of perfection and self-assurance is a black, white-capped, turmoil-filled sea of doubt and fear, burying me with the icy chillness of death and rejection and choking me with its bony, bloodless fingers.
My choices, my decisions, my life, my heart and soul.
Sitting here
_________________________________
I know it's nowhere near as good as some of these others (There's some real talent here!), but if anyone could just tell me what they think, even if they hate it, I would appreciate it. Thanx!
 
It's pretty good. Seems like you were writing what you were thinking...can't see a lot of editing, but if that is the intent, good job. Who is your audience and what is the point? These are important questions... Of course, if you have read my stuff that I posted you would know my shit blows so do not listen to me. I do not know what I am saying....
 
Thanks Frost. You were right about the editing. When just writing for myself, I try not to change too much so it stays in its purest form. My "audience" is generally near and dear friends with knowledge of everything about me. The point? Kinda' just to get my feelings down in black and white so I can see how and why my mind works. b/t/w, I've read your stuff, and it's pretty good. Obviously, you were confused, 'cause I would have to say that in comparison, your "shit" definitely towers over mine.
 
I really liked this piece. It was abstract yet simple enough to sort of get a picture in your mind. And i would definately refrain from changing your work... unless you ask people on how it can be changed. Your work is YOUR work, your mind, your emotions... dont let people tell you they need changing.
*grins*
i am so defensive!!
lol
------------------
HV
**i never promised to be beautiful**
www.geocities.com/hex_venus/index.html
 
Thanks HV! You really are kind (or maybe it's pity).
Well hey, since you're "so defensive," maybe you could take up football along with poetry!
~smile!~
C
 
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