Sorry to say this but if you go to detox you can't go back to live with your mum who is still using, i don't know your exact situation, but there seems to be some co-dependance, if not a lot... it will never work...
Yes, you are so very right. I use to think that my mom just ate little tiny quarters of the pill and she would ask me to get them for her every now and then, then eventually a bit more frequently and at that point they were only a phone call and a 6 minute drive away. She would give me one just for getting them for her. Ha, I remember one 30 would last me a couple days. As it was so easy to get and I did so frequently for her I started buying my own..then getting mental cravings which lead to starting to do it everyday. Some how she and I had admitted to each other we actually snort them (and she had another source so she was in way deeper than I could've imagined) and the next thing I know we are getting them everyday together and just fueling each other's warm-hot opiate fire. If I didn't have money she would buy and vice versa. I made good tips 5 out of 7 days so every morning we'd drive together to score..sometimes feeling bleak from not having enough the night before. There would be mornings our dude wouldn't answer until 10am and we'd be quietly hurtin'. I was making good money and I never had a dime to show for it. My two days off we would usually be suffering then the next day my mom would get paid and her check was gone in a matter of usually two days. On top of my nightly tips ($50-$450 a night) My paycheck was usually between $600-$980 and I would give her some cash to get by on and pay our bills (well sometimes) then use ALL the rest for pills for both of us. Needless to say-we are bad for each other and our habit grew quickly.
I recently signed up for another semester at college, moved back to my mom's and took a huge pay cut to get a job revolving around what I am going to school for to help my chances at a career once I finish. So with this pay cut we took a pill cut also. I came to the point where I admitted to myself that I AM ADDICTED! and wanted to take this opportunity to better myself completely. I quit c/t and made it three days in until my mom was at work, sickish (she wasn't quitting just couldn't find any atm) and asked me to go get a couple pills-she was working and couldn't leave. At this point I am really sick but proud of myself. So I go get her the pills..drive about 30 seconds down the road from where I got em' and pulled over. I start crying (overly emotional stage) and caved in and blew two and a half 30s right off the shameful bat.
I also was able to get us some suboxone not too long after this incident. We talked and she agreed she had to quit. I had planned out a quick sub taper for us and everything was going great. Until mom took more subs than needed and then I haven't been able to get my hands on any since. So yes, we are still currently using.
I am SO ready to quit and I am willing to do whatever it takes. Even if that means 'leaving my mom behind'. I am not doing this to spite her-but I am doing this because I
love her
and myself. I want her to see that I can do it and hopefully, when she is ready-I can help show her the way. After I called the inpatient I was supposed to call back with insurance info etc but I have not. As you said
neversickanymore that piper must be paid. I am moving in with my sister within about a week until I have enough money saved to get my own place again. She has a spare room and also has a one month old baby so once able I will be helping her out as much as possible-kind of a win-win.
My sister does not know of my addiction and I am going to tell her I have a horrible case of the flu and can't leave my room due to the baby being around it. I could tell her, but I just don't want her to see me in that light as stupid as it sounds, esp since I helped her through her addiction of speed/adderall. Recently I have not been using as much as I was. When I wake up in the morning I have one blissful second of no problems and then reality sets in and I am hurting. But I want to taper a bit plus save money to pay her weekly/help with groceries + baby stuff.
So, I guess you guys didn't need all of that information but it felt good to write. I will start a new thread when the time comes with my progress and through the jump. You guys and great and hopefully someone will read it and see that they can do it too and maybe get some tips.
I am sure I can find it through forums here but does anyone have any tips on getting through the withdrawals? Perhaps a survivor kit of sorts, I find it nearly impossible to eat but perhaps I am supposed to? Easy/good for me things that I should eat? OTC meds/doses/days? Things I should get prescribed by a dr.-how to go about that?Words of wisdom etc appreciated but if ya all feel like it's been covered too much I will be doing the research so no worries! Also-I have been thinking to not baby myself with other things and just feel it full-throttle. I feel like that's more deserving.
Thank you all, much love
Im not going to discourage you from doing this.. but really why are you going to pay all this money for these people to do job you can do better on your own? 
.. they just swallow us up. your going to do this![:\](https://bluelight.org/xf/BL_Images/Orig_Emoji/wrygrin.gif "wry grin :\")
