Quick History:
I have been shooting up for about 2 years now, I have IV'd Heroin, roxycontin, dilaudid, Cocaine, subutex, and the first time I shot up was my first time doing meth.
I never been very sanitary in the past, I've reused needles (once over 15x) and cottons. I've done multiple washes from pill matter left in the spoon, I've missed shots, licked the spoon, accidentally shared needles with 3 people, please don't lecture me I already know..
Anyways after reading these past few posts it scares me how similar my problem is, I randomly started having problems registering and every time I try to hit a vein I get an intense sharp pain and horrible anxiety shortly after, making me so scared to shoot I have to waste my shot by "drinking it" and if I do get a shot to register I have to check it multiple times because I always seem to miss at least 10% or more everytime, and sometimes I get a crazy scary feeling kinda like the normal rush but with an insanely hard rapid heartbeat and horrible anxiety shortly after. I have a creepy crawling sensation in my vein all the up my arm and other random places all over my body, it feels kinda like bugs under my skin. I get horrible head aches fatigue insomnia. I also have respiratory problems including chest pains, shortness of breath, and at times it's extremely difficult to breath to the point where I almost pass out. My insomnia is pretty bad and the overall anxiety is horrible. I have the shakes as well.. really really bad shakes.
The worst of all my symptoms was when all of a sudden my artery, vein, or muscle got really tight in my right hip area. I was sitting down and I tried to stand up but It hurt so bad I couldn't. then randomly the pressure went away and I'd got a horrible huge rush, just like the random rushes when I would hit a shot, but 10x worse. the feeling went away after a long 6 hours
a few days later, I hit a shot like normal and had the same weird crawling feeling and got a faint purple bruise all around the area I hit, I got super cold and way to fucked up for the size of the shot, I went to the ER and left 15 minutes later diagnosed with cellulitis and a script of antibiotics. I got so mad and thought "what the fuck, this isn't an infection, it's only when I do a shot, it has to be the drug itself, heart problems or something" so I never got the antibiotics
These events and side effects have made my anxiety so bad I had to quit IVing. I didn't want to but I physically couldn't do it my hands shake to much, I quit for 3 weeks before I tried again. I got the same side effects but not nearly as intense. The same weird rush during and after the shot, and the same vein crawling feeling etc. I also forgot to mention that I changed from a 29g to a 30g needle all around the time these symptoms hurt I've never tried them but wanted to because I hit so much I had ALOT of marks and "smaller needle less mark". well these new pins seemed off, they clogged easy and made it super hard to hit without pushing through or pulling out of the vein I missed almost everytime. so try after try after try,.. (even a friend tried) I gave up and bought a new pack of 29g. I had one successful hit sofar but my anxiety has made the whole process slow and I no longer get excited/enjoy the process of loading the rig.. I'm way too cautious now and I follow just about every safe IV guideline to the T. I use brand new needle every time (unless I miss and I'm trying again) alcohol, clean spoon, cotton, smaller hits, registering multiple times to ensure no miss, cleaning site after and using a bandaid.
Yesterday I noticed that my left lymph node under my jaw is really swollen. I went back to the er and told the doctor about the cellulitis and lymph node and got a new antibiotic script and was told to take Motrin and Tylenol for the swollen node. again I left the er mad because I felt more tests were necessary.
I started taking the antibiotics yesterday and I'm kinda scared how they'll react with my drug use, so Iv decided to quit IVing until there all gone and just smoke. I'm scared I'm gonna die soon, never been so worried. If anybody knows anything about what's wrong with me please help me so I can tell the doctor because idk what else to do. Tips are also needed
I know I should quit and iv already been to the doctor so telling me to do these two thing won't help me
Thanks for taking the time to read this....