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Inexcusable

M

MysteriousSplendor

Bluelighter
Joined
Apr 18, 2003
Messages
47
Location
Pleasant Valley, MO
A piece of me never focuses clearly on my open hearts desire.
Burliness of the wanton feelings that were,
and still are apparent is provided in my distinct memory.
The discontent of my now former life as I view it,
all as if it were based on a montage.

The menagerie increases as the lights dim
on the open wounds of the salty life that has existed.
What should I say about the conspicuous life I have lead?
Nothing, due to the inconsistency of the words I have said.

A piece of me never focuses clearly on my hearts desire.
Due to overwhelming emotion propelled
with the contextually based fire.
I have but conspired that my life is just another
desperate plea for my feelings to be read inappropriately.

The menagerie increases as the lights dim
continuously disguising the ultimate prize within.
Spontaneous compulsion expands the out going life of sin.
With the sea of depth building up streams of lies to win.

But you the life: attentively restrict squeezes the true meaning absorbing, despite all the vulnerability.
Get it straight, cut your loses, move ahead
disintegrate all fears before the soul is dead.

[
 
Here is the deal I know what I wrote may not make any since so I will only keep this theard till monday. Therefore if there isn't any response I'm going to shut this down. I understand that it is not appealing. What the hell is wrong with me.
 
firstly...there is nothing wrong with you...or this peice.i read pretty much 100% of the posts in words and i dont reply to them all. people view peices but dont always need to reply. u can see how many r reading it by looking at the viewed by numbers located next to the replys number...

this made perfect sense...sometimes just writting whatever comes out is al that needs to be said. i do it quite often and some of the stuff that comes out is hard to put together...its very well worded and ur choice of words is nothing but short of excellent. keep ur mind open and what u write will always make sense...even if not ot you. but it will to others.

nice work

:D
 
MS, i will second starfalls comments. don't give up just because no-one replies. ultimately, it's about the reasons you write for, which is to express the unexpressable inside you in a form that can be understood by others. sometimes i can see a piece is great, but because it doesn't key exactly with me, i choose not to reply. other times i do.

i still read it though, and some of the author's emotion rubs off on me. it's still had an effect, but it's not noticeable to the author.

and besides that, write anyway. it's you in the words, and ultimately, anyone else's opinion is of marginal value. i've written many pieces that haven't received responses, and many more that have never been read by anyone else. i still write. i do it because it gives me pleasure.

looking back, some pieces of mine weren't worthy of response, and others i can still read and wonder why no-one else was touched. and yet, i still write. so should you. don't give up, and don't ever think a piece isn't worthwhile just because someone didn't reply. if they didn't read it, it's their loss.

-fluffy-
 
No kidding Miss Shay! My ass ain't posting here much anymore, but that sure as hell doesn't mean I have stopped writing [just slowed down alot ;-)]. Anyhow, if you are looking for real criticism you've come to the wrong place . . . but if you're looking to post your words before the faceless, nameless, and sympathetic masses you HAVE come to the right place . . .

Anyhow, this isn't a contest to see who gets the most replies . . .
The menagerie increases as the lights dim
on the open wounds of the salty life that has existed.
What should I say about the conspicuous life I have lead?
Nothing, due to the inconsistency of the words I have said.
Click to expand...
Actaully, that was really cool. :D
 
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