Djjapp777
Bluelighter
It rains softly. I tip tap across the slick pavement, huddled in down and my knitty. I don't exactly know where I'm going, I haven't had the answers in awhile. I'm listening to The Adventures of Terra Ferma and it's making me feel like crying. Away from everything for a little while, dancing among the streetlights, not having to watch shit screech and zoom by. It feels like one of those nights from a romance movie, where the mistaken man runs to his girlfriend's house, pounding on the door, "[NAME] I NEED YOU!! I LOVE YOU!! I WANT YOU BACK!!" I feel like doing it right now, and I have so many doors to knock on.
"I NEED YOU!! I LOVE YOU!! I WANT YOU BACK!!" Still walking, thoughts churn and churn and churn thoughout my head. I went over her words again, three special words, almost as special as "We're just friends" except this was the first time I heard this. When she asked me "Who are you?" I simply shrugged my shoulders and pitter pattered away as part of the rain. We go to the same school, we pass each other in the hallways, we walk the same floor, yet somehow I'm the one who has fallen terribly in love with you and you are the one who couldn't care less. In the end I'm alone again.
I think about my ex-friend's ex-girlfriend, the ex-affair we had and the ex-feelings we shared. Last Saturday he had a party and everyone was there. Where was I? Well... I wasn't there. So now I only get to hear stories about how they cuddled and kissed and spent the night together. Very amusing, seeing as how she had put the moves on me, she had asked me over and fucked me, and me not being able to hold the burden any longer, told him about it and apologized. She wanted to keep it a secret... Here she is once again, him being played by the girl he dumped, and they are together. She has gotten away with everything, and I am the one isolated. Who am I with after this great peril? In the end I'm alone again.
You ever meet the loneliest man on Earth? I'm sure the rankings change daily, but you have met at least one, and didn't even know it. Consider this a great event, as I myself am introducing myself to you and telling you what it has been like. I am a pimp, a player, a womanizer. Or at least that's what people have been telling me. Sometimes I forget they don't know shit.
I am a dreamer, which means I am bad at living; I am a wisher, which means I am bad at loving. I used to tell myself that I don't need anyone, and could be perfectly happy with sex and drugs. But here I am, now surrounded by armies of pairs, clasping one another. I want that, and every such potential occassion drips through my fingers and drains my soul. I am a nice guy, I am a friend; please don't kill me with your words, for who will attend my funeral. In the end I'm alone again.
"I NEED YOU!! I LOVE YOU!! I WANT YOU BACK!!" Still walking, thoughts churn and churn and churn thoughout my head. I went over her words again, three special words, almost as special as "We're just friends" except this was the first time I heard this. When she asked me "Who are you?" I simply shrugged my shoulders and pitter pattered away as part of the rain. We go to the same school, we pass each other in the hallways, we walk the same floor, yet somehow I'm the one who has fallen terribly in love with you and you are the one who couldn't care less. In the end I'm alone again.
I think about my ex-friend's ex-girlfriend, the ex-affair we had and the ex-feelings we shared. Last Saturday he had a party and everyone was there. Where was I? Well... I wasn't there. So now I only get to hear stories about how they cuddled and kissed and spent the night together. Very amusing, seeing as how she had put the moves on me, she had asked me over and fucked me, and me not being able to hold the burden any longer, told him about it and apologized. She wanted to keep it a secret... Here she is once again, him being played by the girl he dumped, and they are together. She has gotten away with everything, and I am the one isolated. Who am I with after this great peril? In the end I'm alone again.
You ever meet the loneliest man on Earth? I'm sure the rankings change daily, but you have met at least one, and didn't even know it. Consider this a great event, as I myself am introducing myself to you and telling you what it has been like. I am a pimp, a player, a womanizer. Or at least that's what people have been telling me. Sometimes I forget they don't know shit.
I am a dreamer, which means I am bad at living; I am a wisher, which means I am bad at loving. I used to tell myself that I don't need anyone, and could be perfectly happy with sex and drugs. But here I am, now surrounded by armies of pairs, clasping one another. I want that, and every such potential occassion drips through my fingers and drains my soul. I am a nice guy, I am a friend; please don't kill me with your words, for who will attend my funeral. In the end I'm alone again.
