I have to keep telling myself that "I am worthy". I am worthy in this life and I don't have to prove my existence is good...I deserve to be here. I deserve to be guilt free. A few weeks back I felt useless....my head was spinning and I felt so guilty for using my DOC. I stopped....I still want it but I feel so guilty about wasting time on it. I hope that makes sense.....it's like I have been able to forgive myself now.
Tips....establish a routine with your school work and life for the next few months...until the end of the semester. Stick with it and try NOT to procrastinate. If you do, make lists and be proud of anything you get done.
Take long walks to get your endorphins going. Depending on where you live falltime can be the best time to be outside. Enjoy nature and look for the beauty on your walks.
At the same time....
Expect to feel bored and a little empty. Drugs fill that hole...but the hole is normal to have. Reward yourself for little accomplishments....rewards that are drug free and take just a few minutes...an extra few minutes playing a game...a few pieces of candy...browse a thrift store for a cool shirt....sit in a dog park and people watch. Pick out a show and make sure you watch it. But get back to work and pat yourself on the back when you get homework done....get 30 minutes extra sleep!!
Lots of sober peeps ride bikes and say they love it.
Old habits drive us at times...when we actually "think" we will always be a certain way...we might need to realize, "Hey..that'd just a habit ". We can stop the habit...we can change them.
Here is a page I like...
Play the tape through. When you think about using, the fantasy is that you'll be able to control your use this time. You'll just have one drink. But play the tape through. One drink usually leads to more drinks. You'll wake up the next day feeling disappointed in yourself. You may not be able to stop the next day, and you'll get caught in the same vicious cycle. When you play that tape through to its logical conclusion, using doesn't seem so appealing.
A common mental urge is that you can get away with using, because no one will know if you relapse. Perhaps your spouse is away for the weekend, or you're away on a trip. That's when your addiction will try to convince you that you don't have a big problem, and that you're really doing your recovery to please your spouse or your work. Play the tape through. Remind yourself of the negative consequences you've already suffered, and the potential consequences that lie around the corner if you relapse again. If you could control your use, you would have done it by now.
Tell someone that you're having urges to use. Call a friend, a support, or someone in recovery. Share with them what you're going through. The magic of sharing is that the minute you start to talk about what you're thinking and feeling, your urges begin to disappear. They don't seem quite as big and you don't feel as alone.
Distract yourself. When you think about using, do something to occupy yourself. Call a friend. Go to a meeting. Get up and go for a walk. If you just sit there with your urge and don't do anything, you're giving your mental relapse room to grow.
Wait for 30 minutes. Most urges usually last for less than 15 to 30 minutes. When you're in an urge, it feels like an eternity. But if you can keep yourself busy and do the things you're supposed to do, it'll quickly be gone.
Do your recovery one day at a time. Don't think about whether you can stay abstinent forever. That's a paralyzing thought. It's overwhelming even for people who've been in recovery for a long time.
One day at a time, means you should match your goals to your emotional strength. When you feel strong and you're motivated to not use, then tell yourself that you won't use for the next week or the next month. But when you're struggling and having lots of urges, and those times will happen often, tell yourself that you won't use for today or for the next 30 minutes. Do your recovery in bite-sized chunks and don't sabotage yourself by thinking too far ahead.
Make relaxation part of your recovery. Relaxation is an important part of relapse prevention, because when you're tense you tend to do what’s familiar and wrong, instead of what's new and right. When you're tense you tend to repeat the same mistakes you made before. When you're relaxed you are more open to change."
