In serious need of advice ... PLEASE HELP

[CamsMama91]

hey guys , very new to this site (literally just made this account) not sure if i can post this on your thread but i have not the slightest idea how to post elsewhere... My name is Alyssa im 23 and just had my first child two weeks ago.

Ive been on methadone for 11 months now and it was only supposed to be a three month matnence thing because i didnt want to go very high for fear i would have to come off and withdrawal (past experience with getting arrested and then sectioned and had to withdrawal behind the walls) so i was doing well, passing all my drug tests and what not and one day the counselor came in and told me i was pregnant so my fiance and i started asking questions and they literally told me if i tried to come off while pregnant the would call DSS on me.

And where constantly telling me to go higher and higher (because "baby takes 50% of my dose" yeah right!) to make a long miserable story short i am at 85 mlgrms and have been at/around this dose for the past 4 months, just \had baby (we are still in hospital as we speak and he is doing amazing but obviously withdrawing- exactly what my clinic told me WOULDNT happen if i stayed at a high dose) and NEED to get off :this clinic is pay out of pocket and for my fiance and i thats 22$ a day that you NEED to have each morning no if ands or buts...

i am terribly stressed out &cant believe weve even been able to pay our rent and pay these ass hats at the clinic. so here i am went to Walmart this morning to return two boxes of diapers (gifts for the baby) and receive a gift card that i sold at the pawn shop for 50 cents on the dollar to get my dose - i literally cried in line at walmart because i havnt had to do anything like that since i was in active addiction and it was such a wake up call I NEED TO EITHER GET OFF METHADONE OR FIGURE SOMETHING OUT i have medicade and there is another clinic about 30 min away (driving) that would take my insurance but with not having a car i imagine i'd be paying just as much to get there.

idk what to do can i switch to subs? how bad would it be if i stopped cold turkey? (i already know its going to be fucking awful) but do you guys think if i stop cold turkey, go cop a couple bags and just ween myself off like that i would be ok? im thinkin the withdrawal from dope is far easier than done but i have a newborn and never imagined going back to that shit. im so lost you guys please i know ive read a million sob stories on here but this is true story, cant sleep even though i'm still at a relatively high dose and as im writing this i cant even keep my eyes open god i used to love the nodding and what not but now its just a pain in the ass while having a beautiful little boy to care for.

i cant even keep my fucking eyes open you guys i need some fucking help. not knocking anyone on the clinic but im so over the liquid handcuffs- all they did was FUCK me. I live in North Carolina- moved down here from MASS and there arent half as many treatment options down here as there are up north its really depressing. going back up north is not an option as i have a warrant. I honestly just want whts best for this little boy and i DO NOT want to use ever again but at the same time i do not want to be sick SO if you have any suggestions or can just tell me your story of methadone use/withdrawal it would be greatly appreciated!!!! xoxo Dazed n Confused

 

[Jabberwocky]

Hi there and welcome to blue light. Firstly i'd like to say congratulations on the baby! However, it does sound like you're in a really tough spot at the moment as you've described.

You most definitely do not want to be coming off that kind of dose cold turkey, and at same time you do not under any circumstances want to go and pick up a few bags to wean yourself off using those - it will not work, and you will most likely just start injecting again and that will most likely lead to having your child taken away from you, not to mention the spiral into addiction again using heroin. Now, have you tried tapering your methadone dose? I would suggest a fairly rapid detox regiment - it will be painful, but it won't be anywhere near as terrible as cold turkying. I would reduce by 5mL every day until you reach a point where the methadone no longer is holding you (aka you feel as though you're in withdrawals despite taking the methadone - however, this may not actually happen and you can continue dropping until you reach 0, if you're strong willed enough which by the sounds of it you are).

Considering you now have a child to look after and take care of I don't recommend getting onto subs. However, you can use subs to detox yourself rapidly from methadone, but i would only do this once you reach a dose of say 30-40mL a day, wait until you're in a state of withdrawals (usually within the next 2-3 days) and take 2mg of sub. From there you taper off quickly and efficiently. I don't know if its available over in the US - but in the UK we use something called lofexidine, which is normally used when you reach the bite point at methadone. It's painful, but you can do it if you really want to get the liquid handcuffs removed.

Don't try and cold turkey it. It will be excruciatingly painful and you will most likely fall into the wrong hands - methadone is notorious for its horrible withdrawals. Especially if you don't have any sort of support medication wise during the withdrawal phase from 85mL you're going to be in for a very rough ride.

You can prepare yourself with some OTC things too - lopermide and some kind of 1st gen anti-histamine to help you sleep at night too.

What do you envisage yourself doing? I'm not quite sure/clear on what your options are here - so could you just outline them briefly?

 

[Cliffy78]

What's up lyssa, we've got good programs up here back in mass. What's ur warrant for? Seeing as u just had a kid I've seen the court be very understanding to young mothers. Then again I've seen some garbage treatment too so idk. U came from mass so well u know how the programs are and everything up here.
I know a lot of people don't like suboxone but for some it's a godsend, u don't really get "high" but u don't get sick at all. I'm pretty sure the clinic can set up a plan for u cause I think u gotta be at 30mg to be able to switch over from 'done and you'd have to be off if a few days but I'm not too sure how that all works. Others will know much more here. With subs you won't be nodding off or nothing like that but I know u can't just switch over, that done' has to get off ur receptors or the sub will throw u into precip. Wd and u can't do that. Try talking to ur dr./counselor about what u want to do. If you do switch you gotta get some help or it could end up being a total disaster. Read up on everything before u make any decision, there's mad info just on this site alone. Don't go back to h, u can't afford the done' so there's no way u can afford the h. It's not gonna be as easy as using a bag or 2 a day and ween, that just doesn't seem realistic to me but were all different so idk. Hope everything is good and your child gets better soon. It's fucked up they wouldn't let u get off done', fucking threats and all that shit is total trash. I guess that's America now though

 

[legalizeall]

Well your stuck with methadone for a minute cause cold turkey is not really an option unless you want to withdrawl horrifically and not sleep for a month. So get off the methadone by going down i think its 5ml a week or even slower. THen dont get on another maintenance drug. Cut all connections with your drug. When i mean connections, i mean these maintenance drugs where its like a taste everyday. Cut yourself off completely and get it all out of your life.

 

[CamsMama91]

Thanks for the reply guys. 4 months later still on the done (30mg) and still clean (as clean as that gets) and my son is the greatest pleasure in my life. Coming down sucks and will be getting off this Thursday - two days w nothing (but kpins) - and on to subs !! Lol it's a sad life man I suggest having kids he's the only sunshine I see