In Rehab Now - Starting a Sober Life.

[PMS]

I'm having trouble saying no to alcohol, tobacco and the zopiclone/oxazepam combo they describe me for sleep.

I've had some relapses since my last post.

Found that
1. Drinking alcohol is not too bad, but will easily become a daily habit like before.
2. Smoking tobacco makes me depressed, flattens my life energy, confuses my mind. It also makes my throat/nose sore and stuffed with mucus.
3. The zopiclone/oxazepam is highly unhealthy for my thought processes, sleep and awareness.

When it comes to speed/meth, I still get cravings, but I have no desire to use.


Breaking ones rules and expectations for oneself, how should I put it, is no good for my self-image... I think I should try to scare myself, remember the absolute worst of drug use, so that I don't marginalize it.


I'm leaving this institution on monday. Hopefully I'll clear my head and try to find some focus for the future, so that I stay on the right path. I'll post back in the future.

-Erlend

 

[PMS]

Hello,

I just wanted to say that I'm still alive.

I'm back at rehab center, and sitting here drinking tea. I was stupid/unfortunate enough to start using again for a short period, at the beginning of this month. I did meth, smoked weed, and ate a variety of benzos... Not the smartest thing I've done, but I managed to stop again and grow stronger every day.

Next month I'm moving into an apartment specifically designed for recovering addicts and such... it will be nice.

I hope the day will come when I can play guitar, write and draw pictures again... But of course that depends on my lifestyle and, well everything.


Cheers

 

[PMS]

I can say that I'm high as a kite right now, and not clean in any ways.

I've gotten a new medicine, Remeron (Mirtazapine) that feels sorta like a sedating little piece of excstasy. Probably not good for the head at all. I wish I should and could be smoking hashish every day instead... It actually helps me. All this speed I've been doing feels mediocre in comparison, really fake though it alleviates some of my symptoms and pain.

Did I mention that care should be taken when using amphetamines? I've recently experienced a huge O.D. with a horrible comedown. Not fun at all.


My plans is to stay clean for the entire new /next year. Until then I will drink and have fun, eat my meds, stay cool, try to walk the right way / on the right track. Holy hell.

Cheers

 

[hunter1]

Wow, all that and you're only 23...
If you're in that deep now I really hope u get through this.
At you're age I would have really struggled with even entertaining a sober life.
I'd have felt like I was missing out.
You're not. Believe me. Lol.
You and drugs don't get along.
Get out out now while you can still realistically have a life that you imagined as a a kid.
You only get one life. Consider yourself an early surviver.
This can just be a passing phase now.
Keep going and you will really regret it.
Addictions a cancer. Get it early and you've got a chance. Leave it long enough and you are fucked. It only gets much harder. I sound like an asshole but it comes from a place of love for a fellow human being.

 

[Badroll7]

staying clean makes you look at things so differently.