Regardless of whether or not you abuse them, you'll still become dependent on them (if you take a daily dose) and that is the essence of the horror that is benzodiazepines. I've never heard of a successful taper story in person. There's always a piper to pay in the end.
Well, you've now heard one

and hey, we might end up at the same party this summer if you're going to any of the big SoCal events, which would be cool, as I've always respected your posts. Not calling you out in the least as it is absolutely true that benzodiazepines are physically and psychologically addictive.
I'll take my 5 mg Valium - to which I have not developed a tolerance - over having panic attacks which often include strong vertigo to the point of vomiting, inability to leave the house for fear of having one in public, and inability to be in crowded, confined, or public spaces - which are a few of the symptoms I experience when my panic disorder is not treated. My anxiety has an additional physical component - muscle tension.
My panic attacks don't happen, generally, on low-dose benzodiazepine therapy. For when they do despite the Valium (always triggered by a life event or stress trigger), I have Xanax PRN for "breakthrough anxiety". I don't abuse it.
I've never experienced heroin w/d as I don't use heroin. I hear it sucks but is not life threatening. I do know that benzodiazepine w/d is potentially life-threatening and can cause many bad things such as seizures. A sensible taper schedule followed to the letter has prevented anything like that for me. When I wean, I'll post about my protocol - won't be for a few months as I have major life events upcoming for which I have to be calm and functional.
In my case, daily low-dose benzodiazepine therapy works. I've tried SSRIs (useless), meditation (which does help), CBT (also helpful), and countless other types of therapies. Nothing has ever worked as well as a low dose of an intermediate to long-acting benzo at a maintenance dose plus weekly therapy with a psychologist who specializes in a form of therapy that is somewhat of a hybrid of CBT, meditation, and DBT.
kc's level of anxiety appears to be driving her to the point where she is considering resorting to SI and ED behaviors to feel some level of relief. Taking a benzodiazepine could stop her from resorting to those behaviors. Who in their right mind would deny someone suffering in such a situation a safe and effective medication?
kc - my continued empathy and

- and I encourage you to talk to your new doc about every pharmaceutical and non-pharmaceutical option available to you, especially CBT. I hope you achieve relief from your difficulties soon. You get what you give when you place your trust in a competent doctor. Hang in there and keep yourself well until your appointment.
