In memory

[EverythingsEventual]

For Alan S...

Blink or you'll miss it,
In one moment you're there,
Then you were suddenly gone,
Everyone felt your pain,
Although only you,
Bore it most valiantly,
White faces at the funeral,
Blinding flashes of grief,
Tears triggered by,
The black cars,
Came to take us,
To say goodbye,
Had to stop myself crying,
Be strong for your prodigal son,
When 'amazing grace' played,
The coffin was rolled in,
My autopilot terminated,
Opened my heart to the pain,
Of your loved ones and friends,
How life can suddenly stop,
The way that people can change,
And how fast they can leave,
But the lessons I learnt,
From your fight to the death,
They'll stay with me forever,
Remind me what I have to live for,
And what others have to live without.

 

[Dekloren]

Omg...

This couldn't have been any better.
The last two lines are gold.

Hope writing this has let you move on.

 

[EverythingsEventual]

Because this wasn't an immediate family member I didn't allow myself to grieve for this person... I often felt it inappropriate because I spent so much time around those that were close to him. But in my own way, writing this poem has helped. I wrote about 5 drafts of this poem before I got it the way I liked it, and now I'm satisfied that it says everything that it has to. It was my first experience of watching someone die slowly and I guess it was a desperately sad time for everyone. The day of the funeral is something that I've never really talked about, I guess the whole situation is. But, it is something that will stay with me, haunt me, and also remind me, for the rest of my life. I just wanted to try and tell people that death doesn't mean the end of it all... whether you believe in life after death or believe that all you are is compost... there is always someone, somewhere, who has been touched by your life, your death and all that you've left behind. It's comfort in a way because... well... while others are grieving for their loss, I think they forget all the positive things that you leave behind. As a person. We all worry about dying alone and it's soooo important for people to remember that when they die, someone, somewhere, will have been touched by their life. Doesn't matter if you're a superstar celebrity or if you're a chambermaid, a colonel in the military or a schoolteacher. We are never completely alone, and nobody passes on without leaving a legacy, however small, and I just cannot articulate how important I think that is to life, love and the pursuit of everything

 

[DarkPoet]

Damn, I just realised who this about, poignant indeed. I had a similar experience with someone I knew well and loved but didn't feel I had the right to grieve for, there were so many people at his funeral they didn't all fit in the chapel. He still comes back to visit me from time to time

 

[EverythingsEventual]

I remember us talking about this before

One of the last things R said to me was that he thinks his dad watches over me, I know I certainly talk to him in my head a lot

 

[cherub]

Great stuff girl! definately moving

 

[katmeow]

Beautiful work - it feels like release or closure in a sense.

 

[EverythingsEventual]

I want to bump this back up to the top, as the first anniversary is on friday, I'm sure, and this is my small tribute to a great man who was a fighter til the end.

 

[EverythingsEventual]

*bumped for the above reasons*