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In Memoriam, cdin

deficiT

deficiT

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Jonny Moon, Jonathan Martin, @cdin
___________________________________
August 4th 1984 - August 28 2024

Our Health & Recovery moderator and Discord admin Jonny, aka @cdin passed away suddenly in his home this morning.

We don't know the exact circumstances, but my understanding is that it is a suspected drug overdose, as he was turned away from a medical detox program he was trying to enter yesterday to get clean again.

This is an unspeakable failure on our healthcare system in a very human way.

Jonny was an incredible, intelligent, and compassionate person. I enjoyed every one of the interactions I had with him volunteering on BL together over the past few years. I doubt many would have a bad thing to say about him, I've certainly never heard one.

This is an unavoidable symptom of the mission we undertake here, and it's never easy. Please don't forget that every single person included in statistics regarding drug overdoses is a distinct personality with their own hopes and dreams. Many people, like Jonny, spent their lives helping others get through life and survive the traumatic nature of drug addiction.

He will be greatly missed.

Please if you have any stories regarding your experiences with cdin, or any thoughts or prayers you would like to offer, please share them here.

Rest in Peace Jonny, thank you for everything 🙏
 
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Jonny was my fucking defacto Harm Reduction &Discord Staff dad, he taught me so much. I don't know how many times I watched him handle a difficult situation between people high as fuck with grace and thought "fuck, I want to be like him. I need to copy what he does!".

Jonny is the only reason I keep a dose log for my drug use, Jonny's the only reason I even know what the fuck I took yesterday, how much and when. Jonny's the only reason I know about how amazing Amanita Muscaria is, and it's healing powers. I owe so much more to him than I ever realized.

I've had so many enjoyable text and voice chats with him, he's never been anything but amazing to me. I can't even imagine the loss of people who got to meet him in person. May the Buddha rest your beautiful soul Friend. I know you're going to a much better world than this one, after the amazing life you've lived. Love
 
i've only ever known him as a gentle, kind, and caring person. he was a positive force in so many people's lives - he did SO much good while he was with us. i still can't believe he is gone. gutted and at a loss for words.

the world is really not forgiving, is it?
rest easy, Jonny. thank you for everything you did.
 
I wish this was a joke.... cdin was one of the most amazing people I've ever met through this site, and I really don't say that lightly.

I have also been turned away from detoxes from various reasons due to the fucked up nature of healthcare in this country.

I feel my soul falling through the floor right now. Why is it always the best of us? JFC man, no words.
 
Anyone who’s been in the harm reduction world for a while has lost people, and it never gets easier. I was newer to knowing Jonny, but in the few months that I’d been around him I’d already come to care deeply for him. I think it was pretty impossible to not love this guy if you’d had any sort of interaction with him. He was warm, genuine, kind, funny, smart, stubborn, earnest, a talented musician, and he said “fuckin” between just about every word.

My heart hurts too much to know quite what to say right now, so all I’ll say is that you will be so, so missed Jonny. Tonight I’ll light a candle and play a song for you, like you patiently played so many for me. Rest easy, friend 🖤🕯️
 
When I got a call this morning saying it was an emergency I already suspected something had happened to him... never would I have guessed it was the worst possible scenario. Jonny was one of the kindest people I've met, he's helped countless people and made so many smile with his jokes and music and cheery personality.
Hell, Jonny saved my life at least twice, wouldn't be here without him. He asked me to yell at him and hold him accountable while he was trying to get clean the past month and I feel like I didn't do enough to save the homie that did so much to save me.
Such an amazing and compassionate person. I know you were proud of all of us Jonny, I hope you're up there looking down proud of yourself for all the good you've done. Hey, say hi to Magnor for me buddy, smoke a joint with him and jam out with all the Buddhist saints and homies
Love you Jonny, rest well homie. :heart6:
 
deficiT said:
We got some awful news that I will have to deliver here. Our Health & Recovery moderator and Discord admin Jonny, aka @cdin passed away suddenly in his home this morning.

We don't know the exact circumstances, but my understanding is that it is a suspected drug overdose, as he was turned away from a medical detox program he was trying to enter yesterday to get clean again.

This is an unspeakable failure on our healthcare system in a very human way.

Jonny was an incredible, intelligent, and compassionate person. I enjoyed every one of the interactions I had with him volunteering on BL together over the past few years. I doubt many would have a bad thing to say about him, I've certainly never heard one.

This is an unavoidable symptom of the mission we undertake here, and it's never easy. Please don't forget that every single person included in statistics regarding drug overdoses is a distinct personality with their own hopes and dreams. Many people, like Jonny, spent their lives helping others get through life and survive the traumatic nature of drug addiction.

He will be greatly missed.

Please if you have any stories regarding your experiences with cdin, or any thoughts or prayers you would like to offer, please share them here where he was best known, and I will move this to the Shrine in the future.

Rest in Peace Jonny, God keep you my brother 🙏
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I was frequently in contact with Jonny before he passed, usually if he was in a voice chat in the bluelight discord I was there too.

He would stream souls games, first I remember him streaming demons souls. He got me into souls games, and I began playing DS3 because of him. Shortly before he passed he was getting increasingly close to beating dark souls 2.

In his name I will be beating dark souls 2, and anyone is welcome to join.
 
"This body is not me; I am not caught in this body, I am life without boundaries, I have never been born and I have never died. Over there the wide ocean and the sky with many galaxies All manifests from the basis of consciousness. Since beginningless time I have always been free. Birth and death are only a door through which we go in and out. Birth and death are only a game of hide-and-seek. So smile to me and take my hand and wave good-bye. Tomorrow we shall meet again or even before. We shall always be meeting again at the true source, Always meeting again on the myriad paths of life." -
Thích Nhất Hạnh
 
Oh wow, God Bless Cdin. He was a wealth of knowledge and was so valuable here. I will miss him, Bless his family. I got nervous when I saw the thread title. I can honestly say cdin had a real positive effect on me and for that I am thankful.

I really dislike news like this. Please take care of your health all.
 
Oh my god!!! I had recently become friends with him and was talking to him on the phone and texting and emailing with him almost every single day for months!!

He's the only bluelighter I ever talked to on the phone and he was BEYOND awesome. He'd answer EVERY SINGLE question i asked and had endless patience.

This is really fucking with my head badly. I've never really known anyone young who died like that. FUCK our stupid system!! I can't believe they did this to him.

I mean, I really don't know how to react to this. What an incredible guy, just totally fucked by the system.

R.I.P. Jonny. You will be remembered and you will be missed.
 
I remember the first night I met him, I joined the discords lounge voice chat and he was playing music. I stayed and tried to join when he was in to listen to him play. It's like I can still hear him while I'm thinking about him. I've always looked up to him, and when I didn't know something he was the one I'd look to. I've always had a huge amount of respect for him, he's the the most knowledgeable HR advocate I've known and is just a beautiful soul in general. The grieve doesn't go away but neither does the love. Rest easy Johnny, I'll miss you.
 
lilrascal said:
Anyone who’s been in the harm reduction world for a while has lost people, and it never gets easier. I was newer to knowing Jonny, but in the few months that I’d been around him I’d already come to care deeply for him. I think it was pretty impossible to not love this guy if you’d had any sort of interaction with him. He was warm, genuine, kind, funny, smart, stubborn, earnest, a talented musician, and he said “fuckin” between just about every word.

My heart hurts too much to know quite what to say right now, so all I’ll say is that you will be so, so missed Jonny. Tonight I’ll light a candle and play a song for you, like you patiently played so many for me. Rest easy, friend 🖤🕯️
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He definitely did say "fuckin" between every other word lol, and I know that from the one time we spoke. The guy did everything he could for me and had ENDLESS patience answering EVERY. SINGLE. ONE of my often repetitive questions I ask due to my OCD.

I'll remember everything he taught me. God this sucks.
 
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I am so sad about the loss of Jonny/cdin. Feels numb. I’m on the other side of the world. He was such an incredible part of our team and our community. His judgement and capacity to hold space and his HR knowledge and…

And it was preventable. He had booked himself into rehab. He was doing all the right things to get the right help. And they turned him away and it just makes me so angry and sad 😔
 
SeasickCat said:
I remember the first night I met him, I joined the discords lounge voice chat and he was playing music. I stayed and tried to join when he was in to listen to him play. It's like I can still hear him while I'm thinking about him. I've always looked up to him, and when I didn't know something he was the one I'd look to. I've always had a huge amount of respect for him, he's the the most knowledgeable HR advocate I've known and is just a beautiful soul in general. The grieve doesn't go away but neither does the love. Rest easy Johnny, I'll miss you.
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What kind of music did he play? He was a guitarist right? I just remember him telling me.

I don't believe we ever necessarily truly die or are ever truly born. In a sense of course we do, but like Einstein said "energy cannot be created or destroyed, it can only change form."

It takes a really good person to be there for as many people as he was even when they are going through their own shit. Few people are as willing to answer my nearly endless questions as he was. I don't like just anyone to the extent that I liked him. He was really really unique and I felt like we were just probably going to continue becoming better and better friends. It's even harder knowing that he was trying to get clean, and I'd really thought his days of going that hard with drugs were behind him, but I didn't know him that well and those days seem to always be "behind all of us" till we want to have a good time. I know it was his birthday so he'd been going hard.

Bless you Jonny. You are genuinely good guy in a world where that's increasingly rare.
 
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