In Memoriam Captain.Heroin

I have confirmed this with family. CaptainHeroin, who has been a senior moderator here for so long, has recently passed away from a tragic OD. He has helped me for very many years with harm reduction, along with countless others. He helped me laugh when no one else could. It is with great sadness I announce this to the BL community. I am weeping.

 

 

 

How the time goes by

 

Truly saddened to learn this news. He was so funny. My heart goes out to those who were close with him.

 

I randomly decided to visit the shrine, and when I saw this thread, immediately recognized what I felt was missing from the Other Drugs discussion. I remember over ten years ago, being a lurker and getting so much information from his posts. Never spoke to him directly, but damn it. This one is extra painful.

Sorry for bumping an old thread.

 

Don't be sorry for bumping the thread.

He bumped all of our Spirits too by helping out

always with his sincerity and honesty.

 

Hey i remember when he was active here when i was just a lurker he made the whole site a lot cooler, it seems stagnant without him

 

No… no no no no no.

I met Andrew through this website. Spent many nights hanging out with him and his wife at the time Ashley in his apartment in Chinatown when I still lived in Los Angeles. I refuse to believe this.

Somebody please tell me this thread is a joke

 

I had many long convos with CH and he was always so tortured and struggled a lot. My first discord friend. He loved walking the trails at Griffith park, he loved the observatory and interacting with people and I’d be so shocked he’d ask the questions he did to strangers.
We grew apart the last few months although we did have a few convos in that time.

I really do hope he is at peace now.

This is so tragic because it all could’ve been avoided.

Andrew and I spoke several times by phone and he always saw his death at an early age as an inevitable fate he couldn’t fight. His rationalized his heavy benzo use as he wasn’t going to be around soon anyway.

I believe he is now at peace, in the arms of his loving partner he tragically lost 5 years ago.

RIP Andrew

Wait what the fuck??? Ashley died too?

What the FUCK. Him and I lost touch about 7 years ago, but I was super close with both of them in real life for a while. I don’t think I’m ever going to forgive myself for not reaching out and checking in, regardless of distance or growing apart or whatever else.

I can’t believe this. I refuse to believe all of this.

Can someone please PM me and tell me what happened? I can’t process this or believe it’s real

 

@xburtonchic
Unfortunately we did lose Captain.Heroin. I don't know the details around his partner though.
While we can't change the losses that have already happened... we can channel that energy into spreading good information and advocating for better drug policies and harm reduction services.

 

No, we can’t. All we can do is keep fighting the good fight, like they would have wanted us to…

I’m just still trying to process this. The news is very fresh for me.

Am actually working on a recovery blog and will be dedicating it to all of our lost soldiers

 

I was a young mother when I found this site, googling how to shoot up Dilaudid as a 17-year-old new mom. I’ve been lurking here for—I swear—longer than 2010. Honestly, I think since 2007. I’ve made many, many accounts and lost access to each, but that’s not why I’m writing this.

CaptainHeroin has been around—sorry, had been around—this site for me just as long as I’ve known of its existence. I’m sure lots of longtime users recognize the name. I don’t know how many times that guy saved my life. Me too though, by the way, brother. I got my plated gold ticket about four years ago. At first, I thought I’d found the answer to my life, but then everything got so much worse from there.

I wanted to talk when I found out, but I never even tried. I haven’t made an account on this site for years, since I stopped caring about asking questions I knew he’d already answered.

I don’t know how I haven’t experienced another user on this site dying, but I was basically in love with the smart-ass. Truly gay or not, I thought about that dude’s words probably every day. I never knew what he looked like, and I don’t think he knew I was one person behind, like, I don’t know… four or five accounts.

I’ve been looking for the guy since I created this new account and just couldn’t find him because I was using the member search for his name rather than the regular search. Honestly, I can’t believe no one has made a shrine.

I wish I could have told him all the things he taught me—not even about the dope man, but about being safe, using more than just whatever equipment is on hand, and preparing for future screw-ups. He even helped me with my first set of bupe shots when I was trying to get clean.

Last I heard, he was on like 0.25 mcg of bupe a day.

I’m so fucking sorry you’re gone, H.

Maybe it’s truly time I hang my bag for good. I’m 35 now. I’ve been doing this almost 20 years. There isn’t a better candidate to lose their life than where I currently sit.

Getting clean is easy now; with DT meds it’s barely noticeable anymore. It’s staying away from the dope that’s the problem. Because yeah, H is my DOC. In reality, all drugs are my DOC. I’m a little fiend, man. I’ll shoot water if I don’t have anything else.

That’s why all I’ve been able to accomplish is faking being sober for over eight years. I’ve truly only gone a few months at a time, never ever over a year.

But I’m going to try harder than I ever have.

RIP Professor Captain. Sorry, dude.

 

Honestly, I can’t believe no one has made a shrine.

Captain.Heroin

 

Captain.Heroin

Thank you, I don't understand why I had such a hard time finding anything connected with his name. I can't believe it was 2021.

 

Thank you, I don't understand why I had such a hard time finding anything connected with his name. I can't believe it was 2021.

Yeah it really doesn't feel like that long ago.
@alasdairm can you merge this please

 

That’s why all I’ve been able to accomplish is faking being sober for over eight years. I’ve truly only gone a few months at a time, never ever over a year.

But I’m going to try harder than I ever have.

You got this.
The absolute best thing you can do for yourself, and for the memory of those we have lost, is to try your very best to get sober (or at least cut back as much as possible on harmful use) in their memories.

 

It's my birthday today and I was just reading some of your amazing rambling diatribes from back when I first met you. Some of them have me cracking up so much.

PS. I will never forget trying to do a sexy dance for you all fucked up on hypnotic benzos and vodka. Stripping a bit too aggressively and inadvertently dislocating my shoulder, all over discord. Lol. I'd do it all over again for you too.

You're missed Andrew.

 

Just a bump for an old thread. I still love and miss this guy, even having never met or known him. I learned so very much. 8 years sober from heroin/opiates for me. Life has been good, if not as fun and exciting as it once was.

Hope all is well with his friends and family.

 

Just a bump for an old thread. I still love and miss this guy, even having never met or known him. I learned so very much. 8 years sober from heroin/opiates for me. Life has been good, if not as fun and exciting as it once was.

Hope all is well with his friends and family.

8 years is amazing, well done.
It is really sad to see that not only is CH gone but so is Ash (the woman who made this post about his death)….
So many of our friends and community members have died and it fucking hurts

 

That is terrible, RIP. A constant reminder. I know that moderator Keif Richards has scared me and kept me from getting addicted to opiods.