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Opioids In A Quandary & Could Really Use Some Help/Input!

Yea I know what you mean but you can't really blame the methadone clinic they are there for long term support and don't want to rush you off the stuff back into a dark place where you must worry all the time so they wait till YOU are good and ready cause only you know when that is. It wouldn't be good if they pushed people to get off when they are not ready so they leave it up to you so there is no stress. I mean its obviously not all the clinics fault you stayed on it so long I mean anyone of those visits you could've said hey in ready to taper but you were probably just not ready to do so which is perfectly fine too:)
All I'm trying to say is they arnt all bad guys incanada they are real nice people who genuinly care about you and they don't even take your money. Yes there's sine flaws but would you rather them restrict this drug even more than it already is and force people off it before they are ready putting them back where they were before.
 
But I also know the states is way worse for the for -profit Methadone clinics that try to keep people on it and encourage them not to get off instead if letting then decide.
I've heard many fucked up things about clinics in the USA which makes me glad to live in canada where its a little better system
 
We both are in same page about methadone- and I would not want it more restricted. Noooo. And I very much agree it is up to patient , their responsibility to know how life is, how you feel & when it's "time"... when you're steady & ready to do the taper. My clinic asked me a couple yrs. ago if I'd consider heading the Saturday morning "meetings"..I did that. It taught me a lot too. I listened to, spoke to & with the full spectrum of methadone patients. The clinic knew&I knew I was in a stable "ready" place. I signed a paper, approx. two yrs. ago. It was approved to commence taper. Even when I'd remembered "oh! It's been 4wks. Ready to go down!" It was met with the idea of increasing... Now, if I'd shown ANY signs of taper roughing me up, I'd 1000% understand going up a bit. One counselor said I could need to be on it for life. I don't blame clinic solely at all...they helped me. Saved me from a deep well I could have fallen further into. It did what it's supposed to do...I played the game as directed. I knew most of the staff quite well-over the years- it's was very personal(for me at least- I was an open book).When I signed that paper &approved to taper, I was flagged as on a taper. I thought they'd help just as much that way as was the increasing. I admit, it was discouraging& frustrating to me. I fully accept my responsibility-failing to mention to decrease/remember if it'd been 4weeks. When it comes down to it, it falls on me. I suppose I just thought they would help keep me on the titration or ask how I was- if I was still going good w/the taper. Agreed, it's upon the patient. Me. I just never had them say, as they looked at my status on the computer in front of them, "hey, you're on a taper, it's been the (regulated) 4wks., are you ready to go down again now?"
Whatever the case is, what's important is that I'm here , with a healthier life & frame of mind. Aware of my addiction, safe...not looking for an OC. I couldn't be more relieved that I'm in said places. I may very well have gone deeper had I not walked into that clinic. I simply wish they (my clinic at least) would've been as "involved" in my taper as they were with my increases. But, oh well, I'm getting to my end goal...!=D
 
Splitting dose as of yesterday- down to 6.5mg- gonna go to 6 tomorrow how I feel. Still, I'd really like to get as low as I can before the surgery. I'm gonna try to tough it out, use the least ammt.of painkillers post-op. I don't know if it's the reductions of Methadone or if it's me&the anxiety I'm feeling about the surgery, but have episodes of my heart just pounding...out of nowhere, I'll be writing, doing nothing-boom boom boom. Don't like it. I am thinking about the surgery a lot lately-it grosses me out- so many stitches, bone cut in half&screws to put it all back together again. Bluahhh! Flashbacks of left foot. Today, I've a Dr. appt. to talk about the Coumadin I've been on-due to the large problematic DVT/bloodclot I developed a couple weeks after the surgery in November. I hope I don't always have to keep taking this rat poison. Even if I'm approved to discontinue the Coumadin, I have to start taking it morning of surgery as I will forever have to do w/any future surgeries (really don't plan on having anymore surgeries for life! 7 in the past 4yrs.was enough!)
Anyways, I hope my results today come back as within range-and that my blood isn't TOO thin, as that would compromise surgery-for obvious reasons-can't go bleeding out&all. I've already made myself come to terms of needing this surgery& don't want to go through these emotions all over again in a month. And cans keep walking the way I do..such a pain! Ugh-my days vent and worry.
 
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