cherub
Bluelighter
In a Moment like this
I am expected to have the answers for my dear family
The Tears will fall.
That sweet baby boy is gone
But fuck you all for blaming me
It was not my hand that lead to his death
I did what was asked at the time
I did what i was expected till finally
I had to escape your fucked up ways
I hear to many times in my life from you all
That somehow I am to blame.
In a moment like this.....
How dare you make the tears in my eyes
of pain turn to anger and hate
Let me grieve in peace without you all.
And Dearest sister,
Memories of good times with you,
Were far and inbetween
And now.......
I can not find one.
In a moment like this.....
So many things I could say to you now
But to me they would be a waste of words
You were never better then me
Because I was given the gift of forgiviness
I can not find it in my heart this time
I let your anger rule
My childhood
Till I was old enough to fight back
I didn't ask to be the last born
I didn't ask to be the one you had anger towards
In a moment like this.....
Now your anger has caught you where you are now
I have no remorse for walking out of your life
I just have remorse for him.
I won't let the guilt get me
With the words she said
"why didn't you stop it "
That day was hell I let it take over me
When she told me you killed your own son
Every effort I offered, you never let me help you
and now you deserve where you are now
Rot in hell in that cell.
In a moment like this.....
I am done. I have to let this anger go
I have to throw that guilt out the door
My family is gone.
In a moment like this.....
I think of you little one, you were not little when you left this world,
but you will always be that little one with your eyes so bright and happy
Walking around in the walker, lifting your arms
and calling for your TT
me lifting you up to my arms
your smile and giggles making us
both light up with love
between us.
Forgive me, I hope you know I tried and
walking away was the only way I could ever find my mind.
I can only pray you are better now,
No more pain, not more beatings... ONLY
Sleep baby sleep, maybe you can rest finally
know you have my love and I will forever have you in my mind
In a moment like this.....
Time to close the curtain of the past
Time to close that part of my heart
Time to move on
I am expected to have the answers for my dear family
The Tears will fall.
That sweet baby boy is gone
But fuck you all for blaming me
It was not my hand that lead to his death
I did what was asked at the time
I did what i was expected till finally
I had to escape your fucked up ways
I hear to many times in my life from you all
That somehow I am to blame.
In a moment like this.....
How dare you make the tears in my eyes
of pain turn to anger and hate
Let me grieve in peace without you all.
And Dearest sister,
Memories of good times with you,
Were far and inbetween
And now.......
I can not find one.
In a moment like this.....
So many things I could say to you now
But to me they would be a waste of words
You were never better then me
Because I was given the gift of forgiviness
I can not find it in my heart this time
I let your anger rule
My childhood
Till I was old enough to fight back
I didn't ask to be the last born
I didn't ask to be the one you had anger towards
In a moment like this.....
Now your anger has caught you where you are now
I have no remorse for walking out of your life
I just have remorse for him.
I won't let the guilt get me
With the words she said
"why didn't you stop it "
That day was hell I let it take over me
When she told me you killed your own son
Every effort I offered, you never let me help you
and now you deserve where you are now
Rot in hell in that cell.
In a moment like this.....
I am done. I have to let this anger go
I have to throw that guilt out the door
My family is gone.
In a moment like this.....
I think of you little one, you were not little when you left this world,
but you will always be that little one with your eyes so bright and happy
Walking around in the walker, lifting your arms
and calling for your TT
me lifting you up to my arms
your smile and giggles making us
both light up with love
between us.
Forgive me, I hope you know I tried and
walking away was the only way I could ever find my mind.
I can only pray you are better now,
No more pain, not more beatings... ONLY
Sleep baby sleep, maybe you can rest finally
know you have my love and I will forever have you in my mind
In a moment like this.....
Time to close the curtain of the past
Time to close that part of my heart
Time to move on
