Nullnvoid
Greenlighter
[See next post to get exact summary and evade my accidental novella 
]
I wanted to make a post to share my particular issue since nowhere that I've come across has had any helpful information on exactly what's been going on with me. Only one poster even mentioned having symptoms even remotely like what's been going on with me. [Skip ahead to the ADD part for the problem if you're in a hurry]
Let me briefly preface to save a lot of our time, this is my first post here, which does not reflect my nearing a decade and a half being heavily versed in the world, the substances, the nuts, the life, the neurotoxicities, the pharmacological pathways, and probably far more than most any other posters could even fathom. That's not to say I will not respect all of your posts. Let's just say I buzzed around the original place where tales of SWIM came from, n compared to what we discussed there I'll probably not reflexively talk about SWIM, might just wind up telling personal accounts, let's just say I've got quite a bit of legal knowledge, so I'll leave SWIM tales where they belong in my heart, back with my bees, and state the following legal disclaimer:
§1 Notice: As a matter of public record the following correspondence is transcribed by a creative writer thereby any portion in no way be taken as fact of actual events transpired. Furthermore any party reading any content hereinafter consents to acknowledges the fictional potentiality of any given part, and readers being hereby informed that the author, duty bound, has sworn bona fide oath not to reveal fact from fiction so as to protect the craft of fiction, moreover the techné of writing, understand and consent to the fact that any inquiries made by any parties, be they to the author direct, or bluelight forums, agent thereof, shall be without grounds, potentially fraudulent as there are a breach of contract, likely frivolous acts stemming from bad faith and abuses of process, subsequent tortfeaser or joint tortfeasors shall be firmly fucked mercilessly hard in their ass.
§1a) To clarify for means of interpretation, the term, 'firmly fucked mercilessly hard' is to be understood as held accountable to the fullest extent possible by principal 'author'.
§1b) To clarify for means of interpretation, the term, 'in their ass' is to be understood as the system law of the commonwealth of the United States including the derogations thereof which subsequent agents of so often by means of asinine writ and injurous action demonstrate their incompetence in the system aforementioned.
[Gotta love contract law
and since I know most mods, or pretty much anyone knows legalese, I'll translate for you all, if the government contacts me or bluelight claiming this post as evidence and demanding it be surrendered as evidence then later subpoenas me to testify to it's validity, it'll get immediately thrown out, then I on behalf of myself and bluelight can sue their ass in civil court :D ]
That being said,
My legal knowledge is a byproduct of years of research, but the nitty gritty is about 6 months in now, and I've eaten enough drugs and mixed enough to kill a school buss full of children. Exercise, food, sleep and basic antioxidant supplementation were my rules to live by. I just wrapped up my BA at the number 1 critical theory department in the nation and spent more time with PhD level peers and functions than I did in my regular classes. To date I have one nervous twitch from one night on extasy pills where I tried to do a 4th round boost, knowing 3 was always the limit being naughty. I did extasy a minimum of once a week for 3 years in my teens, and read on all the pharmacological and nutritional articles you could stomach and then some since I was 12, many mornings coming off 4-HO-MiPT after a gorgeous glowing golden desert sunrise, cause that hallucinogen after the visuals wore off always gave me to hours of focused raw reading energy that I'll never be able to match. Long story short, my brain should be a gmo Monsanto owned potato by now if most reports out there are true about drug neurotoxicity. I just wanted to state all this so no one thinks they need to cover the basics of the dangers of drugs, and potential for brain damage and all the piles of horseshit brought to you by corrupt funding or misguided researchers. Don't worry though, I won't be rude to anyone for any response, all are appreciated, I just know this is the advanced forum and wanted to sidestep the flak for my first post being here and briefly demonstrate my disproof of many studies claims by showing the brain functionality of 10 year drug user.
[End Preface]
So here's the skinny,
I have ADD, Psychiatrists visits n all, best explanation I can give you of my difference medicated and non medicated are 2 main facts, I read 10 pages an hour off amphetamines with little retention and 30 an hour with amazing retention. And when writing, without amphetamines sometimes even a loud noise can break my concentration and I lose my train of thought, as a fiction and essay writer it's a nightmare, and my latest arena is law as well. A little over 8 years ago I was on hiatus from junior college, my grades were decent but not stellar, I had a few classes left to wrap up before I transferred and was trying my hand at a business venture and working on some fiction writing. For a long time I had been super opposed to touching meth even though I'd done loads of other things and had done adderall recreationaly once with no problems, just saw it ruin a lot of friends so was really against it. Finally one evening at a party I smoked some with a friend and did a line of it cause we had to drive a couple hours to do a whole sale purchase for one of my clandestine gigs (lol no the business venture mentioned earlier). Upon doing it I was really confused how it grabbed so many people as hard as it did, to me the smoking it was like a meager half ass attempt at what mdma did, and lines just gave me energy, and nice clean energy unlike coffee or caffeine which makes me sick and get brain fog. So for a good chunk of time I was working away at developing some flash based web training for a business thing my friend was doing, until i read the penal code and found out he'd violated it and coulda been jailed just for his interactions with me for 5 years. So I dropped in to focusing on writing, I think I was 18 around here, I was about 4 chapters into a novel based on a premise for a script a friend and fellow writer of mine had but was still unsure of what literary voice I had and didn't want to be pigeonholed. Unfortunately back then I didn't have benzos, so nights by my normal regiments now where I woulda gotten a good 6 to 8 hours of sleep, the ceiling staring reduced it to about 2 to 4 a night. I've always had a rule to never go more than a day without sleep, I've only broken it once on a 4 day bender with a buffet line of goodies that was not planned haha. Without going to into it, just to clarify I live in an area where lots of people have untouched pounds a kilos of meth and coke fresh over the border, so the meth i was getting for a good while was pharmaceutical grade since we knew the right folks.
Well GW Jr decided he needed to dynamite smuggling tunnels so the provisions in the patriot act would allow them to seize more drug money by making it be exported in semis instead of tunnels (no bs, I read the addendum and it has a clause about seizing large sums of money going into or out of the country that was made right when they found a new satellite imagery scanner to locate the tunnels do to geographic soil disruption). Meth's price spiked and quality turned to shit. At this point I was taking a few mgs of meth orally in water before getting work each evening (i was on graveyard hours cause I had to drop my gf at the time off and pick her up from work and that was her shift and I just seem to get in my writing and productive groove at night. Well one evening after the not enough sleep nights, my gut told me it'd prob be wise to take an extra night off from working that night but decided i could make it through one more night, well dosing orally in water I had some pretty stepped on tina, that night the shards were a bit purer than the rest of the bunch. No benzos, and the ignorant decision for whatever reason to drink gatorade gave me an exciting 10 hour panic attack basically, my breathing was shallow as fuck, and I pretty much sprinted a triangular pattern in the living room for probably 6 to 8 hours to keep circulation going cause I knew going to sleep was a no no, and if it got beyond bad I could wake my mom for an ER run. Needless to say, that scared the shit out of me, I've had a couple overdoses, one of the roughest was on AMT, but that one was a really scary one, one valium or xanax coulda easily sidestepped it. I should note, I was in the absolute worst physical shape of my life and eating the worst I've ever ate when the rough meth night hit, I was about 65 pounds heavier than when I used to take good care of myself and do drugs more regularly (and not from like drug burn off, I eat on anything haha, it was cause I hadn't done cardio for like a damn year at that point).
So following that i went to a psychiatrist, explained to her I'd been self medicating for ADD that I suspected I had and that the street impurities were getting too risky. About the panic attack, about my usage habits, drug history, was upfront about everything. Told her I'd happily try other meds and wasn't just coming in to get adderall. She noted I talk extremely fast, and asked a bit about bipolar disorder, and family history. I told her in my teens when I had heavy psychedelic usage, like 4 trips a week, I used to get full blown manic episodes that ran 11 to 12 days almost religiously, 4 hours of sleep the first 9 days then 2 hours each day after that till they broke. But that I hadn't had one in years since my drug usage dropped back. She gave me xanax for racing thoughts and in case another panic attack hit, then we started the add meds. stratera was straight brain fog n groggy, concerta knocked me unconscious for 12 hours. Lamyctal (sp) worked OK then swelled my lymphnodes, so adderall was what we went to next. A couple months had passed since my major meth panic attack, I'd only done one tiny bump of meth after that and it sorta triggered lighter hints of panic so stayed away from it for good after that. I had an ekg done after the meth deal, heart was in good shape still I should add. So 20mg xr addys came into my life, the first week or so with em the amps triggered a bit of panic and xanax chilled those couple rough days out. After that I got back to exercising wrapped up at my JC with straight A's and transferred to my UC. My entire time at my UC and the rest of my lease till I left the city marked a span of 4 years where I was on a regiment of adderall and xanax but neither daily, did drink beer daily cause we had a bad ass micro brew only pub and the UC I chose was purely for academic interests, I knew it was not a party school, so it was like a detox/BA cause I'd had my share of fun. Blood work done there said everything was good. My time there I didn't really do too many drugs, brought a couple of acid vials around, took some 2c-b n smoked dmt on it, few other DMT trips, then some fungus, weeds never been a thing my body liked much, but had the occasional night of blazing or smoking hash. My main gig with xanax and adderall was I liked the blend cause I hate taking anything daily, most all the shrinks at the UC respected that. One dumb bitch tried to get me on an ssri, I told her fuck no, they destroy libido (and that is like half my life) and their neurotoxicity and brain alteration was heavy as fuck, like permanent damage fuckin heavy. She said wellbutrin could counter the libido and I said probably in so many words her going to fuck herself would also make sure my libido was fine, my anxiety wasn't that bad. I managed mostthings by behavioral control and used meds in crunch times. She wound up leaving on medical bs, so the next shrink was a young adult and adolescent rehab specialist who ran a rehab center for drug addicted youth, apparently I was the only student I knew in the school who got adderall from him, and I shared with him the same I share with you. I'm pretty comfy with my low potential for addiction and familiarity with any withdrawal symptoms. Done opiates, smoked heroin, speed, mdma, a slew of psychedelics, through the years. Drank every day for 4 quarters straight in college and have probably drank alcohol less than 10 times total since I graduated. Even exercise wise at my UC, while I wasn't as on it as I coulda been, I was on top of it, and dropped 20 of the 65 pounds I gained.
So back to the add regiment, given the difficulty of getting appointments due to the short staff and to save money I started getting my rx's from a Doctor I met out there who'd been around longer than the DEA. Finally I had full control over my drug regiment, switched to the addy IRs so I could break the tablets up and not have to be on amps longer than needed, I hated the XRs, they were all over the place, some nights they'd be digested in 6 hours, some nights wouldn't quite give me the focus I needed, and a double dose was like a whoa definitely didn't need to get that amped. Around here my non UC insurance ran out, so i had to swap over to generics of everything and since I had full control over the doses I just maxed em out n broke the tabs accordingly to save money. This regiment worked wonderfully, I love having xanax and valium on hand at all times when dealing with any amphetamines, the gaba release is perfect to neutralize the tail end of the amp effects, so when you wrap up that late night paper at 2am, you're asleep by 230, and get 6 hours of rest instead of being all spun the next day. And, while I do my best to discipline myself against pushing that extra step to get shit done, sometimes late in the week of crunch time I try to get one more balls to the wall day out of myself than I should, and my nutrition is subpar, sleep is way low, so I'd over amp, the benzos always can take care of that too. So for probably a good 4 years, my regiment mostly of as sparing as possible addy n xanny usage with a few valiums tossed in went on, I worked towards getting in better shape and did my best to cook home cooked meals and eat well. Outside of the overexerting myself for a week with too little sleep and too much stress and taking addys to try n get one night too many leading to a bit of anxiety which I quelled with benzos and then listened to my body and went to sleep I had no adverse effects from amps whatsoever. So full documentation from basically 17 years old starting meth, till 24 which was about a half year after graduation when my lease ran out and I left my UC city, outside of a few evenings of anxiety from tryin to do a bit too much, and clammy hands and cold feet I never had any adverse effects.
At the end of that year my financial life took a shit, I was making about 2 to 4k a month working during college and all that collapsed due to some ventures with people friends shouldn't have vouched for. Most of my belongings got shoved into a friends garage, I was kinda scraping by financially, but I was still working my ass off on a project which I actually am nearly done with as i write this, at that point it was closing on 5 years of work or more involved in it, now it's hitting about that point. I kinda hit a run here where I couldn't even afford to by new walking shoes, was living on 99 cent burritos n shit, I walked from time to time cause being sedimentary was giving me cabin fever and anxiety and I could feel the negative health effects. My roomie, who is one of my best friends, is a vegetarian, so when we had a bit of extra funds our food wasn't terribly unhealthy, she and I eat pretty damn healthy for great depression level budgets, but both of us were sinking financially. Around this time Barr pharmaceutical who had been making my generic adderall for the last like 3 years suddenly had a shortage in my entire county. I was calling like mad to find some, you have to understand in this period I probably read about 30,000 sections of legal codes between CA and USC. I'm entirely self taught in law. Cali has 29 separate codes, the US Code is hundreds of thousands of pages, not to mention the piles of reading on top of the codes and constitutions for my state and the US. I was nearly broke, but I was working my fucking ass off haha. Since Barr's generic worked well for me and I knew generics are iffy I even went as far as calling Barr to ask what was up, they said DEA sanctions impacted things. So I did what I bet next to no one on this entire fucking forum did, I called the DEA directly to ask them where the fuck my adderall was and why there was a shortage haha. After a bit of phone tag, cause I sleep in and they're 3 hours ahead I finally talked to the DEA rep and she said it was barr's end and there were no sanctions. Given I wanted to go into the pharmacology field, that I've been actively involved in the drug war since I was 12 or younger, and that my specialization in theory from my school is global market systems, language, reasoning etc, and a whole slew of other shit I'm hep to I smelled industry bullshit. Sure enough sandoz had recently started pumping generic vyvanse, which people still going to shrinks said they were switching em too. (I couldn't possibly begin to explain how much more shit I know about these industries than most people because I've actually seen tax returns of some of the mega rich, and understand how trusts work to move equity and control companies and hold assets so families can control them without their name being directly tied to them, I have friends at major accounting firms, and working as quants on hedge funds, it's just part of the vast array of shit I'm in to). For instance I know Merck and Pfizer are controlled by the same trust, furthermore the chemical wholesalers who make the precursors are an even smaller circle. Barr was quite reputable for being the only quality generic blend of adderall made by sandoz originally, so the fact that their adderall generics magically dried up as sandoz pumped their latest generic dexedrine time release tab, which shire sued over, while the dea and barr pointed fingers at each other tells me one thing. Barr and Sandoz are controlled by the same trust, and were making a market play to fuck shire in the battle to repatent the latest tweak light offshoot. (Sorry please pardon my econ theory, industry insight rant, they happen, I was so fucking mad back then, cause so few people are hep to shreds of this shit. The biggest drug cartels are rooted in the US and Europe, and I'll tell you right now, the mexican ones care more about their customers than the big pharms do. Meth is cut with MSM mainly, it's commonly a nutrient for horses that is also a dietary supplement for people it promotes healthy hair nail and skin growth. Dextroamphetamine which has been rebundled for the last 40 years by these assholes is cut with l-amphetamine in order to renew patents, levovo-amphetamine is notorious for inducing panic attacks, vasoconstriction, heart palpatations, and all the other things caring companies like big pharma put in for our health, I mean given without insurance brand adderall is over 550$ in the US for a 30 day supply there's no way a company that fair and compassionate would ever do anything out of greed to hurt its customers. When black market price of the same bottle at about 5 dollars a pill is 150, and the fact I could probably do 2 ounces of stove top ADD methyl meds blended with inositol to yield a good 2 to 3 ounces of pharm grade homemade ADD meds that would be about a years supply for me for probably about 400$ I couldn't fathom big pharma would ever do anything acitng out of greed without their victims, i mean customers in mind.
So while barr/sandoz fucked shire, I got to go to an alternate brand generic, I can't remember the name of the pharmacy now but I remember it had bad reviews, people complaining it didn't focus em like the barr did. Sure as shit, the blend was definitely not as good as barr's but it did an alright job. Unforunately around this time the 83 year old dr who helped me sidestep the corrupt cocksucking mother fuckers who will fucking fall one day, excuse me I mean the DEA, passed away from colon cancer, so I couldn't follow the market trend to get sandoz's safer latest dexedrine remix, I was stuck withe few RX's I had left for generic addys. The first non Barr supply of addys I got were when i noticed a bit more vasoconstriction signs, hints of arm tingles, as i said cold feet were never a surprise, caffeine even did that when I touched it, hands too getting a bit cold was never weird, these were the first that caused a bit of arm tingling. I could feel a bit more was going on in my left arm, the artery leaving my heart and the blood vessels in my forearm were acting up a bit more, but it was light, focus wasn't as great on these either. Following this bottle I was pretty low on funds and next to no one had adderall generics, except walgreens down the street. Their price was unbelievable too, like 100 dollars less for the bottle than anyone else, probably shoulda been my warning sign right there. I got the bottle, the tab shape was different colors didn't even bother to match all other manufacturers, at the time to make sure I could get the meds at all a friend was grabbin some of em from me stepping in as my insurance company. She tried em first, both of us have ADD, without amps we're kinda disheveled, not very on task, we can get by, but they help, especially on heavy work days. When she has to work double shifts, or as I said I have to mow through 2000 sections of legal code, amps are a tool, we both use em when we are busting our balls. Well she called me back telling me her normal dose gave her crazy fucking heart palpatations, she cut the dose way down, I thanked her for the heads up n let her know it was from a new manufacturer. I did a way lower dose than normal for these, normally I'd start at this phase with about 30mg initially, then 10mg to 15mg boost about 3 hours later, then one more boost of that size if I was still working to wrap things up. Without boosts at all the 30mg of whoever made the walgreens generic sure as shit gave me more vasoconstriction than I've ever had, and heart palpatations, to even half function to get through what I was working on at the time I was speed balling with a xanny bar in me just to counter the levovo amp overload. that's when I read the FDA standards, to make a generic, active ingredients must be within +/-20% of the active ingredients, an inactive ingredients are unregulated. I'd like to snyth some vyvanse generic for em, with 20% fucking rat poison as one of the active ingredients since it's totally within their parameters n shove it down their fucking throats. I took as few of the walgreens addys as I could, used em sparingly, but at the time I was sending the first rounds of legal notices out and getting my first casework done, quelling the over done racemics was the best I could do. Now mind you I have 8 years of experience of amp usage now, with meth, addys, straight dextroamphetamine, brand and generic for many, high pharm grade for all including meth. My body is sensitive as fuck to stims, coke I immediately feel vasoconstriction, recently I had methcathinone, it knocked me out and also gave me vasoconstriction, the shitty addys once digested also had it set in quick with the arm tingles n palpatations.
So at present I've relocated back to my home town, I'm doing my best to keep my benzo stock, it's not quite where I'd like it but I at least have my bars. I said fuck pharmaceuticals and went back to tried n true high grade clean meth. Clean meth versus brand adderall for me has always been not to major of a difference. Meth is a bit more euphoric, so staying on task and watching the clock is important, meth lasts usually about an hour longer so long as I dose aiming for the same range. With addys I used to do 2 boost doses as time went on, meth I do one baby one at most, and I have a last call if you will based on when bed time is. The return to meth, now that I've got back to clean sources has been nice, I can't afford pharms, and generics already fucked up my cardio system, and as far as I'm concerned I can give a fuck openly saying it, it's schedule and for add like anything else, white coat, white tee, still just fuckin drug dealers don't kid yourself. I go to the purest shit, I don't care if it's a parking lot or a rite-aid. Fuck the DEA, fuck the US Code, whatever is safest for my body is what I'm going to do. Just returning to clean meth it's been much better on the body than the bad addys but the addys did a number on me so that brings me finally to the discussion I wanted to raise.
While meth is definitely metabolising and going easier on my body than the bad addys were, for the first time in my life I am getting vasoconstriction from it, beyond the usual cold feet or things, definitely hitting the point of pale hands, mainly my left arm which is what the bad addys always used to hit. What's even weirder is it's not like coke or cathinones or any other stim that's caused me vasoconstrictive discomfort in the past, speed lately is completely fine for hours then around the last hour or two it has left it starts to set in, I feel it start in the left arm tingles a bit, most of the time my hand doesn't go numb but it definitely gets tingly and discolored or pale. And I can feel the excess blood pressure in my head. I was taught cayenne pepper is great for opening blood vessels, if you mix a table spoon with orange juice and pound it it can stop a heart attack. So lately when the vessels constrict I've been taking that and mixing it with juice or water, the cayenne pepper I have in the house is quite old so I'm going to buy some fresh stuff with more of the juice I've been mixing it with. Usually I eat a xanny bar also to counteract the amps. Under normal circumstances I'd simply take a break, unfortunately right now I'm constructing about 5 to 6 law suits and managing 3 court cases. I'm already a few days behind sending off the most imminent wave of documents, I've given myself an extension till monday given the health issues. Amps are the only thing that make me really lucid (believe me it bums me out, most any other stim I've tried causes brain fog or actually literally knocks me out). But when vasoconstriction kicks in lucidity gets clouded by the raise in blood pressure, and xannys cloud me a bit too. For those not familiar with ADD symptoms, huge to do lists without meds are nightmarish, you lose a lot of time fretting over where to begin, work is shoddy n all over the place for me. I've already begun to try and get more exercise in, and I'm going to try and be off amps as much as possible, if I can even finish the two things I need to get sent out by Monday I can take a good break, one of which thank goodness is almost done, though I really wanted em out today, but health is more important than wrapping up lawsuits to me at this point.
I have a basic multivitamin right now cause I'm on a low food budget, I plan to get B supplements, A Niacin supplement that flushes and some magnesium, and I take fishoil daily. Plan to couple that with daily exercise to start getting my cardio in the best shape I can, since my exercise stuff is all in storage, I've been nearly homeless and my life's in disarray. Literally scattered between 3 counties at the moment. I'm wondering if there's anyone out there who has had a similar problem I suspect was induced largely by the levovo impact. Through most of my life I've taken pretty good care of myself, and get a lot of the nutrients I need to replenish for the extra consumption drugs cause. My memory is still near photographic, I kicked at my UC, and am still insanely productive (and not like amphetamine induced mania, but like on and off working hard, I try my best to treat amps as a power tool, there are certain things that are a bitch without them, but anything I can get done without em I do) It's hard to find any writeups on adverse effects like what I'm facing where the usage isn't what most people classify as binge, where I get 6 to 8 hours of sleep, as much as possible without benzos. Where I do my best to use them as little as possible. Especially given that the constriction sets in hours into being on them I suspect there is a nutrient depletion partially involved. I know exercise will help immensely too though. With good nutrition the amps still work perfect for focus, even the menace that will destroy the world big bad methamphetamine. The only problem I'm facing is the constriction the levovo began, so in this interim period as I get my cardiovascular shape back up to where it should be, and take as many breaks from amps as possible. Does anyone know of any nutritional assistance that can help my vascular system mend a bit quicker? I'll post updates of how the updated vitamin and exercise regiments help. Definitely gonna find the minimum dose for focus needed too, and also test the cayenne pepper juice blend without the xanny at all to see if maybe just opening the damn arteries up can get me back to where I need to be, cause even heart rate is near but under 100 bpm when the pressure starts going up, and my weight isn't ideal, but it's about 15 to 20 pounds over my target weight, I'm about 30 pounds under when I was in really bad shape. The constricting behaving different than any other drug ever has in my system, being closer to come down than an actual set in effect of the drug kicking in, and knowing the nature of how much meth likes to eat, I strongly suspect there is a nutrient or nutrients involved that is depleted or being depleted faster than normal. I know the DRD3 receptors and the androgenic systems impact vasoconstriction, and amps hit them, but as I said 8 years with amps now, never had anything like this. And usage is about the same, prior to this week I had only 2 days a week with stims, and in the past few months haven't had a great deal of stim intake. I do know shifting back to black market I encountered methcathinone passed as meth a couple times, but that was less constrictive than the bad addys. So, thanks for anyone who takes the time to read this all, it's a lot of info but figured it was needed to explain usage history, habits, familiarity with everything involved and all.
Any input or thoughts would be great. I'm looking to keep the benzo intake to a minimum, they dull the amp sharpness a bit too much for how sensitive the attention to detail with what I'm working on is. And once the constriction kicks in, there's a bit of brain fog, but more so preoccupation with my cardiovascular system, cause I do not take my heart lightly, it's not a system with nearly as much plasticity as the brain. And despite all the brain damage I have according to popular science, I know rem sleep, exercise and good nutrition, and added fuel for added use completely disprove a majority of their biased studies. Drive a car without motoroil and see how far down the trip you get, why are all studies done on people who treat their brain that way, where are studies to educate people on safe responsible use of drugs? And I know there are many people battling addictions on these forums, my heart goes out to you, if I knew you personally I'd be by your side, anyone on drugs near my I take under my wing because I know so little education is out there on drugs. I just got frustrated having so many topics on severe damage from bunt out binges and finding nothing on residual negative effects from bad generics that have caused adverse reactions in other things that have been fine for years. (And again as I said, even when the constriction kicks with the antichrist black market crystals, it's much more benign and doesn't induce the palpitations and nearly as much panic as the addys did, but regardless, I don't want the substance in my body if I can't get work done, that's just a day off my cells could be recouping. So there's my dilemma, crunch time on a good sized lawsuit that's already half in the bag, few weeks of work left in it, and my damn body is actin up from my plighted synaptic gap ha. If there's any food or cheaper side, well studied, bioavailable supplements I'm not aware of out there, I'd love to learn of anything that can help Thanks all.
]I wanted to make a post to share my particular issue since nowhere that I've come across has had any helpful information on exactly what's been going on with me. Only one poster even mentioned having symptoms even remotely like what's been going on with me. [Skip ahead to the ADD part for the problem if you're in a hurry]
Let me briefly preface to save a lot of our time, this is my first post here, which does not reflect my nearing a decade and a half being heavily versed in the world, the substances, the nuts, the life, the neurotoxicities, the pharmacological pathways, and probably far more than most any other posters could even fathom. That's not to say I will not respect all of your posts. Let's just say I buzzed around the original place where tales of SWIM came from, n compared to what we discussed there I'll probably not reflexively talk about SWIM, might just wind up telling personal accounts, let's just say I've got quite a bit of legal knowledge, so I'll leave SWIM tales where they belong in my heart, back with my bees, and state the following legal disclaimer:
§1 Notice: As a matter of public record the following correspondence is transcribed by a creative writer thereby any portion in no way be taken as fact of actual events transpired. Furthermore any party reading any content hereinafter consents to acknowledges the fictional potentiality of any given part, and readers being hereby informed that the author, duty bound, has sworn bona fide oath not to reveal fact from fiction so as to protect the craft of fiction, moreover the techné of writing, understand and consent to the fact that any inquiries made by any parties, be they to the author direct, or bluelight forums, agent thereof, shall be without grounds, potentially fraudulent as there are a breach of contract, likely frivolous acts stemming from bad faith and abuses of process, subsequent tortfeaser or joint tortfeasors shall be firmly fucked mercilessly hard in their ass.
§1a) To clarify for means of interpretation, the term, 'firmly fucked mercilessly hard' is to be understood as held accountable to the fullest extent possible by principal 'author'.
§1b) To clarify for means of interpretation, the term, 'in their ass' is to be understood as the system law of the commonwealth of the United States including the derogations thereof which subsequent agents of so often by means of asinine writ and injurous action demonstrate their incompetence in the system aforementioned.
[Gotta love contract law
and since I know most mods, or pretty much anyone knows legalese, I'll translate for you all, if the government contacts me or bluelight claiming this post as evidence and demanding it be surrendered as evidence then later subpoenas me to testify to it's validity, it'll get immediately thrown out, then I on behalf of myself and bluelight can sue their ass in civil court :D ]That being said,
My legal knowledge is a byproduct of years of research, but the nitty gritty is about 6 months in now, and I've eaten enough drugs and mixed enough to kill a school buss full of children. Exercise, food, sleep and basic antioxidant supplementation were my rules to live by. I just wrapped up my BA at the number 1 critical theory department in the nation and spent more time with PhD level peers and functions than I did in my regular classes. To date I have one nervous twitch from one night on extasy pills where I tried to do a 4th round boost, knowing 3 was always the limit being naughty. I did extasy a minimum of once a week for 3 years in my teens, and read on all the pharmacological and nutritional articles you could stomach and then some since I was 12, many mornings coming off 4-HO-MiPT after a gorgeous glowing golden desert sunrise, cause that hallucinogen after the visuals wore off always gave me to hours of focused raw reading energy that I'll never be able to match. Long story short, my brain should be a gmo Monsanto owned potato by now if most reports out there are true about drug neurotoxicity. I just wanted to state all this so no one thinks they need to cover the basics of the dangers of drugs, and potential for brain damage and all the piles of horseshit brought to you by corrupt funding or misguided researchers. Don't worry though, I won't be rude to anyone for any response, all are appreciated, I just know this is the advanced forum and wanted to sidestep the flak for my first post being here and briefly demonstrate my disproof of many studies claims by showing the brain functionality of 10 year drug user.
[End Preface]
So here's the skinny,
I have ADD, Psychiatrists visits n all, best explanation I can give you of my difference medicated and non medicated are 2 main facts, I read 10 pages an hour off amphetamines with little retention and 30 an hour with amazing retention. And when writing, without amphetamines sometimes even a loud noise can break my concentration and I lose my train of thought, as a fiction and essay writer it's a nightmare, and my latest arena is law as well. A little over 8 years ago I was on hiatus from junior college, my grades were decent but not stellar, I had a few classes left to wrap up before I transferred and was trying my hand at a business venture and working on some fiction writing. For a long time I had been super opposed to touching meth even though I'd done loads of other things and had done adderall recreationaly once with no problems, just saw it ruin a lot of friends so was really against it. Finally one evening at a party I smoked some with a friend and did a line of it cause we had to drive a couple hours to do a whole sale purchase for one of my clandestine gigs (lol no the business venture mentioned earlier). Upon doing it I was really confused how it grabbed so many people as hard as it did, to me the smoking it was like a meager half ass attempt at what mdma did, and lines just gave me energy, and nice clean energy unlike coffee or caffeine which makes me sick and get brain fog. So for a good chunk of time I was working away at developing some flash based web training for a business thing my friend was doing, until i read the penal code and found out he'd violated it and coulda been jailed just for his interactions with me for 5 years. So I dropped in to focusing on writing, I think I was 18 around here, I was about 4 chapters into a novel based on a premise for a script a friend and fellow writer of mine had but was still unsure of what literary voice I had and didn't want to be pigeonholed. Unfortunately back then I didn't have benzos, so nights by my normal regiments now where I woulda gotten a good 6 to 8 hours of sleep, the ceiling staring reduced it to about 2 to 4 a night. I've always had a rule to never go more than a day without sleep, I've only broken it once on a 4 day bender with a buffet line of goodies that was not planned haha. Without going to into it, just to clarify I live in an area where lots of people have untouched pounds a kilos of meth and coke fresh over the border, so the meth i was getting for a good while was pharmaceutical grade since we knew the right folks.
Well GW Jr decided he needed to dynamite smuggling tunnels so the provisions in the patriot act would allow them to seize more drug money by making it be exported in semis instead of tunnels (no bs, I read the addendum and it has a clause about seizing large sums of money going into or out of the country that was made right when they found a new satellite imagery scanner to locate the tunnels do to geographic soil disruption). Meth's price spiked and quality turned to shit. At this point I was taking a few mgs of meth orally in water before getting work each evening (i was on graveyard hours cause I had to drop my gf at the time off and pick her up from work and that was her shift and I just seem to get in my writing and productive groove at night. Well one evening after the not enough sleep nights, my gut told me it'd prob be wise to take an extra night off from working that night but decided i could make it through one more night, well dosing orally in water I had some pretty stepped on tina, that night the shards were a bit purer than the rest of the bunch. No benzos, and the ignorant decision for whatever reason to drink gatorade gave me an exciting 10 hour panic attack basically, my breathing was shallow as fuck, and I pretty much sprinted a triangular pattern in the living room for probably 6 to 8 hours to keep circulation going cause I knew going to sleep was a no no, and if it got beyond bad I could wake my mom for an ER run. Needless to say, that scared the shit out of me, I've had a couple overdoses, one of the roughest was on AMT, but that one was a really scary one, one valium or xanax coulda easily sidestepped it. I should note, I was in the absolute worst physical shape of my life and eating the worst I've ever ate when the rough meth night hit, I was about 65 pounds heavier than when I used to take good care of myself and do drugs more regularly (and not from like drug burn off, I eat on anything haha, it was cause I hadn't done cardio for like a damn year at that point).
So following that i went to a psychiatrist, explained to her I'd been self medicating for ADD that I suspected I had and that the street impurities were getting too risky. About the panic attack, about my usage habits, drug history, was upfront about everything. Told her I'd happily try other meds and wasn't just coming in to get adderall. She noted I talk extremely fast, and asked a bit about bipolar disorder, and family history. I told her in my teens when I had heavy psychedelic usage, like 4 trips a week, I used to get full blown manic episodes that ran 11 to 12 days almost religiously, 4 hours of sleep the first 9 days then 2 hours each day after that till they broke. But that I hadn't had one in years since my drug usage dropped back. She gave me xanax for racing thoughts and in case another panic attack hit, then we started the add meds. stratera was straight brain fog n groggy, concerta knocked me unconscious for 12 hours. Lamyctal (sp) worked OK then swelled my lymphnodes, so adderall was what we went to next. A couple months had passed since my major meth panic attack, I'd only done one tiny bump of meth after that and it sorta triggered lighter hints of panic so stayed away from it for good after that. I had an ekg done after the meth deal, heart was in good shape still I should add. So 20mg xr addys came into my life, the first week or so with em the amps triggered a bit of panic and xanax chilled those couple rough days out. After that I got back to exercising wrapped up at my JC with straight A's and transferred to my UC. My entire time at my UC and the rest of my lease till I left the city marked a span of 4 years where I was on a regiment of adderall and xanax but neither daily, did drink beer daily cause we had a bad ass micro brew only pub and the UC I chose was purely for academic interests, I knew it was not a party school, so it was like a detox/BA cause I'd had my share of fun. Blood work done there said everything was good. My time there I didn't really do too many drugs, brought a couple of acid vials around, took some 2c-b n smoked dmt on it, few other DMT trips, then some fungus, weeds never been a thing my body liked much, but had the occasional night of blazing or smoking hash. My main gig with xanax and adderall was I liked the blend cause I hate taking anything daily, most all the shrinks at the UC respected that. One dumb bitch tried to get me on an ssri, I told her fuck no, they destroy libido (and that is like half my life) and their neurotoxicity and brain alteration was heavy as fuck, like permanent damage fuckin heavy. She said wellbutrin could counter the libido and I said probably in so many words her going to fuck herself would also make sure my libido was fine, my anxiety wasn't that bad. I managed mostthings by behavioral control and used meds in crunch times. She wound up leaving on medical bs, so the next shrink was a young adult and adolescent rehab specialist who ran a rehab center for drug addicted youth, apparently I was the only student I knew in the school who got adderall from him, and I shared with him the same I share with you. I'm pretty comfy with my low potential for addiction and familiarity with any withdrawal symptoms. Done opiates, smoked heroin, speed, mdma, a slew of psychedelics, through the years. Drank every day for 4 quarters straight in college and have probably drank alcohol less than 10 times total since I graduated. Even exercise wise at my UC, while I wasn't as on it as I coulda been, I was on top of it, and dropped 20 of the 65 pounds I gained.
So back to the add regiment, given the difficulty of getting appointments due to the short staff and to save money I started getting my rx's from a Doctor I met out there who'd been around longer than the DEA. Finally I had full control over my drug regiment, switched to the addy IRs so I could break the tablets up and not have to be on amps longer than needed, I hated the XRs, they were all over the place, some nights they'd be digested in 6 hours, some nights wouldn't quite give me the focus I needed, and a double dose was like a whoa definitely didn't need to get that amped. Around here my non UC insurance ran out, so i had to swap over to generics of everything and since I had full control over the doses I just maxed em out n broke the tabs accordingly to save money. This regiment worked wonderfully, I love having xanax and valium on hand at all times when dealing with any amphetamines, the gaba release is perfect to neutralize the tail end of the amp effects, so when you wrap up that late night paper at 2am, you're asleep by 230, and get 6 hours of rest instead of being all spun the next day. And, while I do my best to discipline myself against pushing that extra step to get shit done, sometimes late in the week of crunch time I try to get one more balls to the wall day out of myself than I should, and my nutrition is subpar, sleep is way low, so I'd over amp, the benzos always can take care of that too. So for probably a good 4 years, my regiment mostly of as sparing as possible addy n xanny usage with a few valiums tossed in went on, I worked towards getting in better shape and did my best to cook home cooked meals and eat well. Outside of the overexerting myself for a week with too little sleep and too much stress and taking addys to try n get one night too many leading to a bit of anxiety which I quelled with benzos and then listened to my body and went to sleep I had no adverse effects from amps whatsoever. So full documentation from basically 17 years old starting meth, till 24 which was about a half year after graduation when my lease ran out and I left my UC city, outside of a few evenings of anxiety from tryin to do a bit too much, and clammy hands and cold feet I never had any adverse effects.
At the end of that year my financial life took a shit, I was making about 2 to 4k a month working during college and all that collapsed due to some ventures with people friends shouldn't have vouched for. Most of my belongings got shoved into a friends garage, I was kinda scraping by financially, but I was still working my ass off on a project which I actually am nearly done with as i write this, at that point it was closing on 5 years of work or more involved in it, now it's hitting about that point. I kinda hit a run here where I couldn't even afford to by new walking shoes, was living on 99 cent burritos n shit, I walked from time to time cause being sedimentary was giving me cabin fever and anxiety and I could feel the negative health effects. My roomie, who is one of my best friends, is a vegetarian, so when we had a bit of extra funds our food wasn't terribly unhealthy, she and I eat pretty damn healthy for great depression level budgets, but both of us were sinking financially. Around this time Barr pharmaceutical who had been making my generic adderall for the last like 3 years suddenly had a shortage in my entire county. I was calling like mad to find some, you have to understand in this period I probably read about 30,000 sections of legal codes between CA and USC. I'm entirely self taught in law. Cali has 29 separate codes, the US Code is hundreds of thousands of pages, not to mention the piles of reading on top of the codes and constitutions for my state and the US. I was nearly broke, but I was working my fucking ass off haha. Since Barr's generic worked well for me and I knew generics are iffy I even went as far as calling Barr to ask what was up, they said DEA sanctions impacted things. So I did what I bet next to no one on this entire fucking forum did, I called the DEA directly to ask them where the fuck my adderall was and why there was a shortage haha. After a bit of phone tag, cause I sleep in and they're 3 hours ahead I finally talked to the DEA rep and she said it was barr's end and there were no sanctions. Given I wanted to go into the pharmacology field, that I've been actively involved in the drug war since I was 12 or younger, and that my specialization in theory from my school is global market systems, language, reasoning etc, and a whole slew of other shit I'm hep to I smelled industry bullshit. Sure enough sandoz had recently started pumping generic vyvanse, which people still going to shrinks said they were switching em too. (I couldn't possibly begin to explain how much more shit I know about these industries than most people because I've actually seen tax returns of some of the mega rich, and understand how trusts work to move equity and control companies and hold assets so families can control them without their name being directly tied to them, I have friends at major accounting firms, and working as quants on hedge funds, it's just part of the vast array of shit I'm in to). For instance I know Merck and Pfizer are controlled by the same trust, furthermore the chemical wholesalers who make the precursors are an even smaller circle. Barr was quite reputable for being the only quality generic blend of adderall made by sandoz originally, so the fact that their adderall generics magically dried up as sandoz pumped their latest generic dexedrine time release tab, which shire sued over, while the dea and barr pointed fingers at each other tells me one thing. Barr and Sandoz are controlled by the same trust, and were making a market play to fuck shire in the battle to repatent the latest tweak light offshoot. (Sorry please pardon my econ theory, industry insight rant, they happen, I was so fucking mad back then, cause so few people are hep to shreds of this shit. The biggest drug cartels are rooted in the US and Europe, and I'll tell you right now, the mexican ones care more about their customers than the big pharms do. Meth is cut with MSM mainly, it's commonly a nutrient for horses that is also a dietary supplement for people it promotes healthy hair nail and skin growth. Dextroamphetamine which has been rebundled for the last 40 years by these assholes is cut with l-amphetamine in order to renew patents, levovo-amphetamine is notorious for inducing panic attacks, vasoconstriction, heart palpatations, and all the other things caring companies like big pharma put in for our health, I mean given without insurance brand adderall is over 550$ in the US for a 30 day supply there's no way a company that fair and compassionate would ever do anything out of greed to hurt its customers. When black market price of the same bottle at about 5 dollars a pill is 150, and the fact I could probably do 2 ounces of stove top ADD methyl meds blended with inositol to yield a good 2 to 3 ounces of pharm grade homemade ADD meds that would be about a years supply for me for probably about 400$ I couldn't fathom big pharma would ever do anything acitng out of greed without their victims, i mean customers in mind.
So while barr/sandoz fucked shire, I got to go to an alternate brand generic, I can't remember the name of the pharmacy now but I remember it had bad reviews, people complaining it didn't focus em like the barr did. Sure as shit, the blend was definitely not as good as barr's but it did an alright job. Unforunately around this time the 83 year old dr who helped me sidestep the corrupt cocksucking mother fuckers who will fucking fall one day, excuse me I mean the DEA, passed away from colon cancer, so I couldn't follow the market trend to get sandoz's safer latest dexedrine remix, I was stuck withe few RX's I had left for generic addys. The first non Barr supply of addys I got were when i noticed a bit more vasoconstriction signs, hints of arm tingles, as i said cold feet were never a surprise, caffeine even did that when I touched it, hands too getting a bit cold was never weird, these were the first that caused a bit of arm tingling. I could feel a bit more was going on in my left arm, the artery leaving my heart and the blood vessels in my forearm were acting up a bit more, but it was light, focus wasn't as great on these either. Following this bottle I was pretty low on funds and next to no one had adderall generics, except walgreens down the street. Their price was unbelievable too, like 100 dollars less for the bottle than anyone else, probably shoulda been my warning sign right there. I got the bottle, the tab shape was different colors didn't even bother to match all other manufacturers, at the time to make sure I could get the meds at all a friend was grabbin some of em from me stepping in as my insurance company. She tried em first, both of us have ADD, without amps we're kinda disheveled, not very on task, we can get by, but they help, especially on heavy work days. When she has to work double shifts, or as I said I have to mow through 2000 sections of legal code, amps are a tool, we both use em when we are busting our balls. Well she called me back telling me her normal dose gave her crazy fucking heart palpatations, she cut the dose way down, I thanked her for the heads up n let her know it was from a new manufacturer. I did a way lower dose than normal for these, normally I'd start at this phase with about 30mg initially, then 10mg to 15mg boost about 3 hours later, then one more boost of that size if I was still working to wrap things up. Without boosts at all the 30mg of whoever made the walgreens generic sure as shit gave me more vasoconstriction than I've ever had, and heart palpatations, to even half function to get through what I was working on at the time I was speed balling with a xanny bar in me just to counter the levovo amp overload. that's when I read the FDA standards, to make a generic, active ingredients must be within +/-20% of the active ingredients, an inactive ingredients are unregulated. I'd like to snyth some vyvanse generic for em, with 20% fucking rat poison as one of the active ingredients since it's totally within their parameters n shove it down their fucking throats. I took as few of the walgreens addys as I could, used em sparingly, but at the time I was sending the first rounds of legal notices out and getting my first casework done, quelling the over done racemics was the best I could do. Now mind you I have 8 years of experience of amp usage now, with meth, addys, straight dextroamphetamine, brand and generic for many, high pharm grade for all including meth. My body is sensitive as fuck to stims, coke I immediately feel vasoconstriction, recently I had methcathinone, it knocked me out and also gave me vasoconstriction, the shitty addys once digested also had it set in quick with the arm tingles n palpatations.
So at present I've relocated back to my home town, I'm doing my best to keep my benzo stock, it's not quite where I'd like it but I at least have my bars. I said fuck pharmaceuticals and went back to tried n true high grade clean meth. Clean meth versus brand adderall for me has always been not to major of a difference. Meth is a bit more euphoric, so staying on task and watching the clock is important, meth lasts usually about an hour longer so long as I dose aiming for the same range. With addys I used to do 2 boost doses as time went on, meth I do one baby one at most, and I have a last call if you will based on when bed time is. The return to meth, now that I've got back to clean sources has been nice, I can't afford pharms, and generics already fucked up my cardio system, and as far as I'm concerned I can give a fuck openly saying it, it's schedule and for add like anything else, white coat, white tee, still just fuckin drug dealers don't kid yourself. I go to the purest shit, I don't care if it's a parking lot or a rite-aid. Fuck the DEA, fuck the US Code, whatever is safest for my body is what I'm going to do. Just returning to clean meth it's been much better on the body than the bad addys but the addys did a number on me so that brings me finally to the discussion I wanted to raise.
While meth is definitely metabolising and going easier on my body than the bad addys were, for the first time in my life I am getting vasoconstriction from it, beyond the usual cold feet or things, definitely hitting the point of pale hands, mainly my left arm which is what the bad addys always used to hit. What's even weirder is it's not like coke or cathinones or any other stim that's caused me vasoconstrictive discomfort in the past, speed lately is completely fine for hours then around the last hour or two it has left it starts to set in, I feel it start in the left arm tingles a bit, most of the time my hand doesn't go numb but it definitely gets tingly and discolored or pale. And I can feel the excess blood pressure in my head. I was taught cayenne pepper is great for opening blood vessels, if you mix a table spoon with orange juice and pound it it can stop a heart attack. So lately when the vessels constrict I've been taking that and mixing it with juice or water, the cayenne pepper I have in the house is quite old so I'm going to buy some fresh stuff with more of the juice I've been mixing it with. Usually I eat a xanny bar also to counteract the amps. Under normal circumstances I'd simply take a break, unfortunately right now I'm constructing about 5 to 6 law suits and managing 3 court cases. I'm already a few days behind sending off the most imminent wave of documents, I've given myself an extension till monday given the health issues. Amps are the only thing that make me really lucid (believe me it bums me out, most any other stim I've tried causes brain fog or actually literally knocks me out). But when vasoconstriction kicks in lucidity gets clouded by the raise in blood pressure, and xannys cloud me a bit too. For those not familiar with ADD symptoms, huge to do lists without meds are nightmarish, you lose a lot of time fretting over where to begin, work is shoddy n all over the place for me. I've already begun to try and get more exercise in, and I'm going to try and be off amps as much as possible, if I can even finish the two things I need to get sent out by Monday I can take a good break, one of which thank goodness is almost done, though I really wanted em out today, but health is more important than wrapping up lawsuits to me at this point.
I have a basic multivitamin right now cause I'm on a low food budget, I plan to get B supplements, A Niacin supplement that flushes and some magnesium, and I take fishoil daily. Plan to couple that with daily exercise to start getting my cardio in the best shape I can, since my exercise stuff is all in storage, I've been nearly homeless and my life's in disarray. Literally scattered between 3 counties at the moment. I'm wondering if there's anyone out there who has had a similar problem I suspect was induced largely by the levovo impact. Through most of my life I've taken pretty good care of myself, and get a lot of the nutrients I need to replenish for the extra consumption drugs cause. My memory is still near photographic, I kicked at my UC, and am still insanely productive (and not like amphetamine induced mania, but like on and off working hard, I try my best to treat amps as a power tool, there are certain things that are a bitch without them, but anything I can get done without em I do) It's hard to find any writeups on adverse effects like what I'm facing where the usage isn't what most people classify as binge, where I get 6 to 8 hours of sleep, as much as possible without benzos. Where I do my best to use them as little as possible. Especially given that the constriction sets in hours into being on them I suspect there is a nutrient depletion partially involved. I know exercise will help immensely too though. With good nutrition the amps still work perfect for focus, even the menace that will destroy the world big bad methamphetamine. The only problem I'm facing is the constriction the levovo began, so in this interim period as I get my cardiovascular shape back up to where it should be, and take as many breaks from amps as possible. Does anyone know of any nutritional assistance that can help my vascular system mend a bit quicker? I'll post updates of how the updated vitamin and exercise regiments help. Definitely gonna find the minimum dose for focus needed too, and also test the cayenne pepper juice blend without the xanny at all to see if maybe just opening the damn arteries up can get me back to where I need to be, cause even heart rate is near but under 100 bpm when the pressure starts going up, and my weight isn't ideal, but it's about 15 to 20 pounds over my target weight, I'm about 30 pounds under when I was in really bad shape. The constricting behaving different than any other drug ever has in my system, being closer to come down than an actual set in effect of the drug kicking in, and knowing the nature of how much meth likes to eat, I strongly suspect there is a nutrient or nutrients involved that is depleted or being depleted faster than normal. I know the DRD3 receptors and the androgenic systems impact vasoconstriction, and amps hit them, but as I said 8 years with amps now, never had anything like this. And usage is about the same, prior to this week I had only 2 days a week with stims, and in the past few months haven't had a great deal of stim intake. I do know shifting back to black market I encountered methcathinone passed as meth a couple times, but that was less constrictive than the bad addys. So, thanks for anyone who takes the time to read this all, it's a lot of info but figured it was needed to explain usage history, habits, familiarity with everything involved and all.
Any input or thoughts would be great. I'm looking to keep the benzo intake to a minimum, they dull the amp sharpness a bit too much for how sensitive the attention to detail with what I'm working on is. And once the constriction kicks in, there's a bit of brain fog, but more so preoccupation with my cardiovascular system, cause I do not take my heart lightly, it's not a system with nearly as much plasticity as the brain. And despite all the brain damage I have according to popular science, I know rem sleep, exercise and good nutrition, and added fuel for added use completely disprove a majority of their biased studies. Drive a car without motoroil and see how far down the trip you get, why are all studies done on people who treat their brain that way, where are studies to educate people on safe responsible use of drugs? And I know there are many people battling addictions on these forums, my heart goes out to you, if I knew you personally I'd be by your side, anyone on drugs near my I take under my wing because I know so little education is out there on drugs. I just got frustrated having so many topics on severe damage from bunt out binges and finding nothing on residual negative effects from bad generics that have caused adverse reactions in other things that have been fine for years. (And again as I said, even when the constriction kicks with the antichrist black market crystals, it's much more benign and doesn't induce the palpitations and nearly as much panic as the addys did, but regardless, I don't want the substance in my body if I can't get work done, that's just a day off my cells could be recouping. So there's my dilemma, crunch time on a good sized lawsuit that's already half in the bag, few weeks of work left in it, and my damn body is actin up from my plighted synaptic gap ha. If there's any food or cheaper side, well studied, bioavailable supplements I'm not aware of out there, I'd love to learn of anything that can help
Thanks all.
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