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In a abusive relationship and feel stuck

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Nicolehope21

Greenlighter
Joined
Jun 21, 2017
Messages
1
Has any other girls gone through abusive relationships and you can't get out even though there in jail...I Iove him and don't want to leave but the abuse will not stop i don't think when if we are both sober
 
Of course there are many girls in that situation, hopefully many of them move on at some point. There is no love to talk about when you are abused. You have to love your self before loving someone else. So start loving your self and break up, or let him abuse you for life. It's your choise
 
There is always a way out. Any type of incarceration will make it harder to leave, because instead of making the right choice you end up staying with him out of pity and possible guilt.

Run while you still can, because abuse rarely resolves itself and only escalates.
 
Yeah actually despite the above post I think that, functionally speaking, incarceration makes it easier to leave, because he won't be able to follow you/etc. Being abused boils down to allowing yourself to be abused, whichy boils down to a lack of self-esteem/self-love. You need to realize that an abuser does not love you in a true way, is not capable of truly loving someone. I was in an abusive relationship (emotionally abusive mostly, not physically, well not much, I'm a man and my ex-wife was a good bit smaller than me, although she did leave a bloody gash right next to my eye before and liked to full-arm slap me when she was mad, and once told me she was a breath away from stabbing me to death :|). There were good aspects to the relationship as well, but ultimately that relationship was a horribly negative thing for me. It took me 12 years to finally leave, but I'm infinitely glad that I did. My life is so much better since then, and I finally stopped hating myself and feeling worthless. I have since found someone else and our relationship is so wonderful and fulfilling, she respects me and I respect her, it made me realize that what I had before wasn't really true love. It was a grotesque parody of love that brought me the most pain I have ever felt in my life.

You're worth more than that. <3 The only person who can get out of this is you. And all you have to do is say, fuck off, cut contact and move on.
 
OP your post doesn't even make that much grammatical sense and there is pretty much no info of the situation.

please be more clear
 
that's a tough call... do you have family you can stay with? only you can decide that his behavior is a bad influence on you and will only get more destructive if he sees you are standing by him...
 
Dont blame drugs or alcohol for your boyfriends actions. Im on plenty of drugs right now im not going around tossing women into walls. I have a family member who is a raging alcoholic he doesnt beat on his ex wife hes just drunk all the time. If he is taking so much cocaine meth booze bathsalts or whatever that he thinks its a good idea to hit on you and that happened more than once with him immediately the next day moving heaven and hell to make changes in his life and continually being more responsible then he shouldnt be anywhere near you. We need to both sober up is such a cop out. How about he stop getting either so smashed hes in a belligerent stupor or coked out he thinks hes hard and goes on beating women .
 
Btw your barely speaking coherently. I think you may be self medicating with alcohol and sedatives because you feel like your constantly in a warzone where sh** could pop off at any second.

Its like hes making it rain and complaining about you always holding up a big awkward umbrella.
 
Nicolehope21 said:
Has any other girls gone through abusive relationships and you can't get out even though there in jail...I Iove him and don't want to leave but the abuse will not stop i don't think when if we are both sober
Click to expand...

I'm so sorry to hear you are in this position. It must be very difficult, to love somebody who hurts you. I guess the thing to consider is whether the love you feel outweighs the pain being caused. Remember, you do not need to accept this. Abuse and violence is not how a relationship is meant to be. In my opinion (I am a man BTW), if your partner is physically hurting you, I do not believe he truly loves you too. I am sorry to say that; it is harsh and of course, I do not know either you nor your partner, but I cannot see love manifesting in the manner you describe. Feel free to dismiss that remark, but it may be true. :\

Whatever you do, remember that you don't need to accept this. This does not have to continue. He is in jail and this is probably the perfect time to pack up and leave.

I hope you are well <3
 
Hey, I'm sorry to hear that. If you are in an abusive relationship, move on as quickly as possible. If you don't know what to do, try getting in touch with a local organization that offers help and advice. I'm also sure that there are lots of forums where you can talk to other women who are in the same spot.
 
I'm sorry you're in that situation, do you realize that you can leave..? It sounds like you're just making the choice not too.. especially since he's in jail. You're staying. Ask yourself why.
 
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