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impulsiveness

mrflowers00

mrflowers00

Ex-Bluelighter
Joined
May 23, 2010
Messages
3,693
Location
santa rosa, CA
how do you keep your impulses in check without doing all kinds of crazy and stupid shit i have a very hard time with this
 
I found basically two ways to do this. One is keeping myself busy until an impulse passes (they definitely come in waves, at least for me). The other is to recognize fully how it feels and what it wants when the impulse comes, then simply choosing the other path.
 
Hard to comment without knowing the crazy shit you end up doing. You told me that you're an addict with bi polar and various other mental health complaints so I'm guessing the impulses aren't for the greater good of humanity. I hope they're not violent otherwise you may have to go to hospital. My impluses tend to be telling someone how much they mean to me and if that's the case, who cares, you wear your heart on your sleeve. But if it disfunctional stuff, seek medical advice otherwise you'll find yourself in a world of pain. Misterflowers, you sound (from previous posts) thst you've got issues (we all have, no biggie) the fact you want to address this is good. You said in another post that you're an addict, deal with this and the rest will falll into place. Keep on trucking, you sound like you've got heart which will win out in the end
 
i steal and have unprotected sex with women i don't know and i used to fight a lot things of that nature but i'm looking really for how other people control their urges to do stupid impulsive things
 
Is there someone you can talk to when you have these impulses? Whenever I get impulsive it helps me to talk to someone about it that knows what I'm going through. Another thing that has helped me is just writing about it. It doesn't have to be anything public and you can tear it up if you want to after, but getting those thoughts to words seems to help me out a lot.
 
keeping busy works for a period of time, but my cravings usually get the best of me. Especially something like an impulse on a boring day
 
I'm like this 2.. Very impulsive especially with my thoughts. Its very hard 2 keep in check and often uncontrollable.. Dealing w/ them is something of a new thing to me.. Not sure how its going to happen, but trying to remain semi positive.
 
Age is definitely a factor, or maturity is anyway. But maturity develops through mentally confronting impulsivity--in other words it doesn't just happen. Although it is documented fact that the frontal lobe of the brain is still developing into the mid-twenties (and beyond for some of us late bloomers LOL) just passively waiting for it to kick in isn't all there is to it. Risk-taking is part of being young but learning ways to self talk out of really impulsive risky and possibly self-destructive behavior like having unprotected sex is simply one of the tasks you have to take on. It's tricky because just telling ourselves how bad the consequences are going to be doesn't usually work (fear just goes right into denial) at the time. It's the in-between times, when you are not right in the heat of the moment when you can talk to yourself about changing. Stealing could derail all your school plans not to mention land you in jail. Unprotected sex could severely hamper your sex life at the very least and threaten your life at the worst. I know you already know this which is why you posed the question in the first place, but it probably bears repeating.

Developing an internal moral compass is the best thing you can ever do for yourself. Morality isn't always universal but it usually is. You know what is right by the uneasy feeling you get inside not because of something that is imposed from without. Like everything else in life, it takes a lot of stumbling to get your balance with it so don't beat yourself up for that; just posing this question means that you are thinking about it in a constructive way IMO.<3
 
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