Imaginary Arguments With People

[ez_555]

Haha. Unfortunately, you are only having an argument with yourself

Black Hole this is so very very true. At one point in my life I was planning so many arguments and confrontations in my head it became incredibly self-destructive. I was so angry at a person that I never had the courage to really confront, so I would plan the most elaborate scenarios in my head and they would always end in me totally putting them to shame. I seemed to get some sort of pleasure out of planning these things, and it was like my favorite passtime to do so... however after a while I just became way to emersed in these negative thoughts and realised that it was getting me no where. it was a major waste of time and energy on my behalf, and i can't believe it was all over this stupid person that never really knew how i felt...

Having said that, i still do plan scenarios/conversations/confrontations etc. in my head. These ones are more positive though... and I really love thinking about them Sometimes I go over situations that have already happened and adapt them slightly, develop them into things that I may have wanted to happen or whatever.. hehe.. and often then it will lead me to a totally new scenario that I have to plan. Then when I see the person, I never think about the scenario but I feel just a little bit more prepared in some weird way... but sometimes when I say something that I may have said in my imaginary thing it seems reallllly cliche.. even though it's not! Just because i've heard myself say it a million times already... haha

Every now and again I have to remind myself to STOP thinking and LIVE.

 

[baileylsd]

nah, nuffin like that....

but what i find strange is when i have an argument with someone in a dream, then next time i see the person, i am angry with them, but can't work out why....

lol, thought i was the only 1

 

[Strawberry_lovemuffin]

Every now and again I have to remind myself to STOP thinking and LIVE.

Truer words never spoken

I did this exact thing this afternoon.... knowing I was going to have a confrontation with my boss, I worked out the *exact* way the argument would go, in my head. Of course, when we met, I folded like a pack of cards and never said a word of my brilliant speech. :D

.... nevertheless, I *did* feel more prepared.

 

[onetwothreefour]

Originally posted by CHiLD-0F-THE-BEAT What was that mammoth argument spawned over? Radiohead? [/B]

everything in the world actually stems from radiohead, in one way or another, you know...

 

[haste]

hehe Dandy you're not alone, I'm prone to doing this aswell.

But I also continue an argument after the arguement - in the heat of the moment I don't always get out everything I wanted to, or forgot to mention something or place it in proper prespective. So I keep argueing in my head after the fact of what or how I should have argued hehe.

 

[Strawberry_lovemuffin]

^ LOL! So true. You re-create the situation in your head, only this time, you give the perfect last retort or biting come-back.

It's funny how fantasy and reality mingle though. Ever found yourself describing the same argument to someone later and kind of "slipping in" one of those brilliant comments you never made? "And then I said to HIM, 'I don't appreciate the condescending and frankly bullying tone of your emails' oh, well actually .... I didn't, but it was something to that effect" :D

 

[haste]

^^^ haha too true, I've done that aswell :D

 

[Moon Flower]

I hate it when you have a really good argument in your head, the best you can think of, but as soon as you think of it you know it will never turn out the way that you imagine.


I think everyone has arguments in their head though. It's a good way of sorting stuff out in your head. And kidna satisfying in a vengeful way!

 

[Ice_o]

i do this allll the time, it gets annoying after a while cos i can't stop thinking about it..maybe i'm a bit obsessive..

i hate the fact that you can't turn back time and have the arguement again it really fustrates me sometimes. Like 'why didn't i say that instead of just standing there'

at least now i know i'm not the only one

 

[Pleonastic]

I do this, however I don't think I do it so much as to plan what I'm going to say. I can hold my own in almost any verbal argument, even if I haven't even really thought about the topic before. But if you know you could be in an argument with someone about something (or plan to pick a fight with them ) then it's not a bad idea to visualise a potential conversation back and forth. Rather than using it as a rehersal though, I use it to check that my logic is sound. There's nothing worse than putting all your eggs in one basket, only to have your opponent rip your basket to shreds. Going through some possible paths the argument can take can help you see where the other person might go, and will tell you if that line of attack will end up in you being totally shut down or whether it will give you the upper hand.

But the more positive side of this is that it might make you see where the other person is coming from, and you might realise that you weren't as right as you thought you were. That way you'll only ever seriously argue for things you believe in, and it'll help you avoid looking stubbon and pig headed.

But in the end, never pick or engage in a fight you can't win, unless you can use the loss to your advantage.

 

[lostpunk5545]

I do this sometimes...

If my feelings eventually precipitate into me starting an arguement the person never replys the way I planned it and all my neat little points fall to shit

 

[Strawberry_lovemuffin]

Rather than using it as a rehersal though, I use it to check that my logic is sound. There's nothing worse than putting all your eggs in one basket, only to have your opponent rip your basket to shreds.

Exactly. Another good idea is to spend a good 10 minutes or so visualising the situation from the other person's point of view. Why have THEY acted the way they have? What is their motive? Are they feeling hurt as well? If you approach an argument solely from your point of view, you won't connect with the other person (they feel you don't understand them), therefore you'll inevitably lose. If you can say something like "I understand you must be feeling like 'this".... but the thing is...", they're MUCH more likely to hear you.

Oh dear I think I spend far too much time in work conflicts....

 

[katmeow]

It's funny how fantasy and reality mingle though. Ever found yourself describing the same argument to someone later and kind of "slipping in" one of those brilliant comments you never made? "And then I said to HIM, 'I don't appreciate the condescending and frankly bullying tone of your emails' oh, well actually .... I didn't, but it was something to that effect" :D

One of my friends still gets ribbed ocassionally about this quote from when we were in about year 9. She came in to school and told us about an argument she'd had with her dad the night before:

"I told my dad to fuck off last night"

Pause.

"Well, actually, I told him to go away"

Pause.

"Um, yeah, I really just thought it"

Hehe