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I'm trying to follow through

T

Triv93

Greenlighter
Joined
Mar 3, 2015
Messages
4
So I've been on heroin on and off for a year maybe a year and a half. Now Ive been on suboxone for a year at least and since I started taking it I've been shooting it up and I have a huge needle problem. So recently I've been making attempts to ween down although still shooting it last Wednesday was the last time I took any. Today was the worst day I woke up 8am way to early and was feeling the full withdrawals. So I first asked my dad to get me put somewhere but he fell asleep as he is very sick as in dying sick..so I called my uncle who quit heroin in the 80s and quit methadone before. He really cheered me up and made me feel okay and actually realize the fact that I haven't had suboxone in 6 days. So I get my suboxone from my doctor tomorrow but I feel like I'm going to miss the appointment because I'm so far along already. I really am tired of the withdrawels and drugs I just want to get my life back together again.

I don't really know how I'm going to get through this but at least my uncle put some drive in me to keep going. He's the only one who understands addiction around me and he lives a state away. So yea..im taking zoloft gabapentin biotin milk thistile vitamin d and seroquel to sleep I''ve also been taking tramadol lately to help which sadly I ran all the way through because I have to take everything just a addict being an addict I guess. My mind has been really messed up to I do have a history of depression and now anxiety but I find myself being angry at people I read about who have done this. To me in my head its like YOUVE ALREADY GONE THROUOGH THIS U DONT KNOW HOW IT FEELS. But I know I'm being illogical and selfish but yea I just hope I can work my way through this...any advice or support is really appretiated.
 
I would say get the subs as a back up plan but first throw away the needles..

Always good to have a contingency plan.
 
It's great that you have someone in your family that you can talk to and even better that he actually has experience with what you are going through. I'm really sorry to hear about your Dad. Do you have a close bond with him?
 
6 days is great, I've quite subs before and I found the worst of it was over after about 7-8days, although you'll probably continue to get WD symptoms (sweating, cold, etc) for about 3-4 weeks, but not to the point they're debilitating. The worst IMO is the restless legs at night.
 
Sorry for not replying everyday's been hard but I'm on day 9 now almost there. My doctor is really helping me but just wish I had someone to help me clean up and not feel like such a slob. Today I'm gonna give it all I got to make myself comfortable my mom let me down again said she would help but always bullshits until she decides to not help me at all. I've been taking care of myself alone since 17 but rare times like these I really wish I had help..if I can get a tiny bit of sleep I'll try if not I'll push myself to do chores...but all thats left of withdrawel symptoms is no sleep but when I do its so good.
 
I haven't shot up anythng since I left the subs alone which is a plusnot like im going to venture out to get high anyways i dont want to get sick anytime ever again
 
get some good kartom and throw the subs away ! subs are not good for long term use and with the kratom you will find it nearly impossible to inject! all so change that mantra ! you identify with your verbiage EX im trying to , i have this i am that! use NLP on yourself and don't try ! Want it! i invite you to visualize what your life will look like when your clean and happy! opiate addiction is hard core and trying just is not good enough ! its saying to yourself that its ok to fail because you tried ! HOw bad do you want it ??? how many moments of your life are you going to spend on addiction? for me its all about new drug free friends, getting human connection and real support from people that love me! exercise , yoga, and breath work ! Its really all about breath ! with breath all issues can be resolved !
 
its all out of my system! I feel a ton better except still not being able to sleep it feels weird waking up without needing to fix up but its great. Idk if life is better sober but im gonna keep doing my best
 
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