yeah it’s very person to person. i’m a trans woman, and generally yes, if referring to me in the past tense using my current pronouns and name is correct. with pronouns and one’s name it’s safe to assume you should use their current pronouns. unless one’s previous gender is relevant, there’s really no need to mention it ya know? i do know often when i’m telling stories from when i was a kid or teenager, i really only mention my gender if it’s a point to the story. like talking about dumb stuff i did with my friends as a teenager and saying like “i did *
insert teenage boy thing to do* cause i was a stupid teenage boy haha.” but if you’re unsure you can always just avoid gender for the most part, unless it’s relevant. yk? “as a stupid teenager” works just as well as “as a stupid teenage boy” yk?
generally if speaking about a trans person in past tense, it’s more preferred to use their current pronouns, as pronouns and name won’t really change the point of what you’re trying to say. it’s also just the safest option to use their current pronouns/name regardless. most of us are pretty understanding that it can get a lil weird in that regard. sometimes my mom, when telling a story about me as a kid, will refer to me as a little boy. not intentionally or anything like that. personally i recognize that, at that time, i was a little boy. it’s not my
favorite thing to hear, but it’s not a big deal. some people are a little more sensitive to that and feel as tho they were always their current gender, just not physically/they didn’t know it yet.
it’s very person to person, so the safest bet is to just refer to them as their current pronouns/name/gender. unless their gender has some relevance, it really doesn’t make a difference to just refer to them by their current stuff, ya know? now, if it’s relevant or you need to clarify something, say what ya gotta say. for example- my partner and i went to high school together. we weren’t close at the time but they knew my siblings. since graduating we both transitioned and started dating years later. when telling my family about them, i mentioned their deadname briefly to clarify who they were so that my family recognized them. so a relevant mention or clarification of it is one thing.
TL;DR- unless the context of their deadname or previous gender is required, the best move is to just continue using their current pronouns and everything even when speaking about them in the past tense, yes
