I'm Sorry

jhjhsdi said:
Imo, you're too clever to die. You've always stuck out to me here on BL, as in, if I see a post/comment by you, I ALWAYS read it - and near enough take it as gospel. Your knowledge and experience is immense.

I'm sure there IS help out there! People are even offering to send you stuff or set up a go fund me, and that says alot.

But at the end of the day it's your life and your choice bro. I'm sure whatever you decide to do we will always love you here on BL. If you do decide to leave us, a goodbye would be (upsetting, but) cool 💙💙💙💙💙
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Hey,

sometimes there is NO help out there. And people have to suffer, to live in agony, to stay in bed sometimes years - would you want that???

I'm also doing terminal care and I know exactly how Keif' feels. Always the family and friends are sooooooo selfish. ALWAYS. Let him do what he has to do, PLEASE.

JJ
 
JoEhJoEh said:
Hey,

sometimes there is NO help out there. And people have to suffer, to live in agony, to stay in bed sometimes years - would you want that???

I'm also doing terminal care and I know exactly how Keif' feels. Always the family and friends are sooooooo selfish. ALWAYS. Let him do what he has to do, PLEASE.

JJ
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HE IS NOT TERMINAL AND HIS ILLNESS CAN BE CURED IN MONTHS. HE JUST NEEDS SUPPORT
 
For anyone who is unaware here is the compendium. Not all of it is "confirmed" a lot of this is speculative on the part of my docs. "It is probably this; this is what I believe is causing this" but am in the midst of testing testing testing

Hepatitis C recurrence causing severe nausea.

Myoclonic Seizure Disorder of unknown origin

Recently discovered BENIGN tumor on my posterior fossa. This is believed to possible be causing everything but we have only known of its existence for two weeks. Not cancerous but intermittently pushing against shit.

And...

I was feeling so zhitty that I took Clonazepam twice to sleep. Doctor drug tested me. Spontaneous taper of all Lyrica.

It seems insane. It doesn't feel real. I am totally open and willing to answer questions. I dont want you guys to be in the dark.
 
Man, ido wh
JoEhJoEh said:
Hey,

sometimes there is NO help out there. And people have to suffer, to live in agony, to stay in bed sometimes years - would you want that???

I'm also doing terminal care and I know exactly how Keif' feels. Always the family and friends are sooooooo selfish. ALWAYS. Let him do what he has to do, PLEASE.

JJ
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the family and friends can be selfish as fuck and not be able to comprehend how us(addicts) behave or feel. BUT we here in BL do know and we should be supportive with him @Keif' Richards you're awesome man, please don't give up, i'm sure with some help, support and the right meds life can be bearable for you again.
 
LadyAlkaline said:
I thought that he had an incurable disease, but he says with resources and time he can come back from this ailment.

I am able to send him a large amount of kratom, I was hoping kratom would be able to offer him some relief but due to a regimen he is on it will not help him.

I can contact the pharmaceutical companies that make his medications because many of them offer their medicines free to those who qualify, but I need to know what medications he is on.

He needs help with co-pays and purchasing medical Marijuana which doesn't help fully but does help.

I have reached out to him in PM but my resources are limited, I'm not sure what else to do. I fully understand why people choose euthanasia when the have debilitating and incurable ailments but this does not seem to be the case and I am ready to do everything in my power to help.

@Keif' Richards

Have you spoken to your doctor or gone to the hospital?

They can help you. Go to the ER at the very least, please
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Lady Alkaline I really appreciate the help. I have done this and more or less am in holding pattern. They do give steep discounts but still expensive.
 
Holy shit I opened this thinking you were just quitting as a mod or something... this got dark quick...

Mate if this is about money for medicine we will help. If someone can set up a page where the details of the contributors is kept anon I will donate.

And if it's MMJ you need, can't you hit the streets for cheaper prices than the medical market? Not sure how things are in the US but I imagine the legal stuff is taxed and I know medical care in the US ain't cheap.

Finally I will just say that I attempted suicide for real, like actually not just some cry for help shit, and I am currently very happy I failed. I know this is cliche as fuck but seriously: temporary problems don't need a permanent solution. Chronic pain may be permanent but lack of funds for your medicine is not. My conditions are gonna be with me forever too, I just found better ways to cope, adapt, and embrace.
 
Damn. I am really sorry you are in this situation.

I have weathered some shit. Including more than a decade of abuse, which ended only when I realized I was large enough to physically stop it. Locked in dark places, beaten with things that broke over me (including boards), head put through drywall, burned with cigarettes. Add the nonphysical yelling, belittling, mocking, etc.

Apparently I am the "hunker down and endure it" type. I really do believe I exist for a reason, and ending it for me feels like quitting short of the finish line. I've known 2 people who committed suicide, but neither of them shared their struggles with anyone.

But you're posting and people who know you are responding and want to help. Hang in there, man. You got this. Just get through today. How can we help?
 
Keif' Richards said:
I really am sorry everybody. I dont know if this was the right thing to do. The pain and nausea make it hard to think. If this is totally fucked up of me then please disregard.

I dont want to put myself in front of anyone else as I know everyone is hurting. Ahhhh!
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you realize how many ppl care about you man, i'm glad that you're reconsidering it. Think it through man.
 
Wilson Wilson said:
Holy shit I opened this thinking you were just quitting as a mod or something... this got dark quick...

Mate if this is about money for medicine we will help. If someone can set up a page where the details of the contributors is kept anon I will donate.

And if it's MMJ you need, can't you hit the streets for cheaper prices than the medical market? Not sure how things are in the US but I imagine the legal stuff is taxed and I know medical care in the US ain't cheap.

Finally I will just say that I attempted suicide for real, like actually not just some cry for help shit, and I am currently very happy I failed. I know this is cliche as fuck but seriously: temporary problems don't need a permanent solution. Chronic pain may be permanent but lack of funds for your medicine is not. My conditions are gonna be with me forever too, I just found better ways to cope, adapt, and embrace.
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Like you Wilson, I've attempted suicide on 3 separate ocassions years ago. Did so much damage to myself, collapsed a lung cause i jumped from a 3 story window, impailed myself on a metal fence and had internal bleeding that i had to have an emergency operation.My whole fucking family was dissapointed of me but more sad because i tried to do that. Thank god I'm still alive bro, there's a mission for me out there and i haven't figured out what it is yet but I'm getting there. I'm sure Kief has got a mission in this life too and it's not his time yet.
 
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