I'm Sorry

Keif' Richards

Keif' Richards

Moderator: BDD, OD
Staff member
Joined
Aug 4, 2010
Messages
8,417
Location
Lowell/Charlestown, Massachusetts
Guys, it is really hard for me to say this. I've been with you all for a long time and you've all been with me too. I love you all and care so much for you.

I think you all know I have medical problems. Basically, my liver is in bad shape which is causing me a great deal of nausea, pain and misery.

Because of everything that is going on in the world currently, I have been unable to work.

I rely pretty heavily on medical cannabis to eat, sleep and exist. It is so hard for me to say this, but life for me has gotten harder and harder.

There is no support financially for medical marijuana and without it, life is pure misery. I can no longer really afford to live and every minute I do is agony.

I dont want to be a burden on those around me. I dont want my pain to be passed on to others. I've spent my life taking and I dont want to take any more.

Not being able to afford my copays was the final nail in my coffin. I'm choosing to end my life while I have the power and dignity to do so.

I don't intend for this to be theatrical. I care so much about you all and even those of you who I've yet to meet or have even joined.

I'm going to be around for a few days guys. I just cant take the pain. I wish there were another way. I love you all.
 
Keif,

This is your choice, and I respect that, but this is breaking my heart.

Have you tried kratom?

How much does your marijuana cost?

Is there anything I can do to help you? I can send you some Kratom. I don't have a lot of money but I can try to help. Is the prognosis for your condition permanent?

I'm sorry if I am asking too many questions, I just want to help.
 
How much money do you need to afford your copays? And is that for the pot or other medications? This covid thing is temporary, I don't know your medical or work situation but I think things are getting back to normal quick and it sounds like it could all be pretty temporary. Im on your side either way
 
Does anyone know how to start a Go Fund Me page for @Keif' Richards ?

We could gather money to keep you on your pain medication at the very least.

Don't go out like this. You're worth so much more. You are a valid human being who needs to stay with us.

Going is final. Don't give up. We have got you. Trust in us and keep putting one foot in front of the other. Keep going. Make your mantra "I'll get through today".
I'm going to try and start a Go Fund Me page. Who can help????
 
Ok, I can't leave this thread. @Keif' Richards can you please PM me?

I'm so sorry but I have to say.. my sister killed herself when she was 21. This was in '2000. I can't even begin to describe the absolute heartache left for our family to deal with. She had to be identified by her SHOES. I KNOW for certain had she had one more conversation about life with me, called a single person or helpline she'd still be here today.
All I have left are my memories. She burnt every single photo of herself before she died. I have a fucken morbid grave to look down upon when I want to visit her.
In my dreams she's there and she's not happy.
 
Quickfixgrrl said:
Does anyone know how to start a Go Fund Me page for @Keif' Richards ?

We could gather money to keep you on your pain medication at the very least.

Don't go out like this. You're worth so much more. You are a valid human being who needs to stay with us.

Going is final. Don't give up. We have got you. Trust in us and keep putting one foot in front of the other. Keep going. Make your mantra "I'll get through today".
I'm going to try and start a Go Fund Me page. Who can help????
Click to expand...

This is a great idea.

Keif, we love you man and we will do what we can to help.

I know how you feel Keif.
I live with chronic health problems and pain also and things can get very overwhelming.
I understand whatever way you need to go.
I just want you to know how much we Love you and Appreciate all you do and have done for us all.

I really hope that something else can be done to make you more comfortable.

I love you brother!
I am so sorry and sad that you are suffering this badly.
❤️😘
 
I thought that he had an incurable disease, but he says with resources and time he can come back from this ailment.

I am able to send him a large amount of kratom, I was hoping kratom would be able to offer him some relief but due to a regimen he is on it will not help him.

I can contact the pharmaceutical companies that make his medications because many of them offer their medicines free to those who qualify, but I need to know what medications he is on.

He needs help with co-pays and purchasing medical Marijuana which doesn't help fully but does help.

I have reached out to him in PM but my resources are limited, I'm not sure what else to do. I fully understand why people choose euthanasia when the have debilitating and incurable ailments but this does not seem to be the case and I am ready to do everything in my power to help.

@Keif' Richards

Have you spoken to your doctor or gone to the hospital?

They can help you. Go to the ER at the very least, please
 
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Also living with pain and also fully aware of the devastation suicide can bring...and also fully supportive of KR's right to decide

All I can say is to just live for the very moment, not one day at a time but literally moment by moment...and to keep fully in awareness that shit can, does, will and absolutely HAS to.......change

From the limited posts I have seen, KR has one hell of a head on his shoulders and is someone who I have no doubt whatsoever who could bring positive energy to the planet earth 2020 show...we need you brother <3
 
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Keif',

I am working in the medical sector and also with very very sick people who want to die and cannot. The others want to stay but cannot. It's always a mess but I can fully unterstand that you want to say BYE when things got too strong ( I don't no exactly from what you suffer). It is such a sad feeling, a sad thought, but I really understand when you are in such a condition. If there is really no cure and you don't want to end in katatonic agony....

I guess, I would do the same should such times ever come.

Never forget all of us here that love you.

And also, we will never forget you, Sweetheart, whatever comes.

We love you.

JJ

EDIT: I agree with Lady Alkaline - pls go to the next ER - in your case not to be cured but to be provided with the palliative meds you need. Please do so!!!!
 
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Keif,

I really hope you're just having a bad day mate. You've always shown so much positivity and support for others that it's now gonna get thrown right back at ya! I can't imagine what you're going through right now, but you know as well as anyone that every day is different. You just have to keep on keeping on.

Hang in there bro'... <3
 
Yeah, guys... I'm in with the financial help: Just let us know if a page is created to offer $, yes?
KR is a hellova dude from what I have read... at first I though he was like any other but a little deeper look has brought great respect for ol' boy. ;)
Let's do what we can to keep him afloat and on-board?
Not much else to say about this as choice is choice and would kill and die for his freedom.
Much love, KR.
 
Keif, if there’s a way to help you that would help your issues then you have no call to end your life. We are willing to help and most of all WANT to!

No human being is ever a burden! I know it can feel like that sometimes but it’s just not true.

I have a chronic pain condition, I fully support a persons right to decide but if there’s a chance you can reverse this issue or at least get it so that it’s manageable then please accept help to do that.

You are such a voice of wisdom and knowledge on the board, people really need and appreciate you!
 
Please reconsider. Without you keif I probably would of listened to my foolishness, I can’t be selfish and beg you to go on if you don’t want to but we all love you. Pm me if you get a chance please
 
Imo, you're too clever to die. You've always stuck out to me here on BL, as in, if I see a post/comment by you, I ALWAYS read it - and near enough take it as gospel. Your knowledge and experience is immense.

I'm sure there IS help out there! People are even offering to send you stuff or set up a go fund me, and that says alot.

But at the end of the day it's your life and your choice bro. I'm sure whatever you decide to do we will always love you here on BL. If you do decide to leave us, a goodbye would be (upsetting, but) cool 💙💙💙💙💙
 
Hey guys. This really is nice to hear you that you guys care so much. I never thought I would end up in this place. I definitely thought it possible to die by overdose or for emotional reasons.

I never understood how bad it was for people who suffer. I always thought I understood. I cant help feeling that I deserve this misery for how I have treated others, not caring for people in the way that they have cared for me.

I am in a very sad place right now and sort or at a loss for words. My mood swings back and forth on a dime. I feel like it would be great to feel better.

Please dont put yourselves in any position that creates hardship for you. The entire reason I'm here is to help all of us be better, feel better and be safer.

I have always found a way. I just cant find a way. It's not like I need a king's ransom to live well. That just makes it so much harder.

Thank you all for the support. It truly is the best feeling I have had in weeks.

This is not some "kill myself on skype" type of thing. It just feels like I've hit a wall. I am sorry if I have ruined anyone's day.
 
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