I'm sorry. I cant.

[ShelleBear]

Im sorry. I cant. Not again. I cant believe the words out of your mouth. But I know, "this time I mean it". And I know, "you really mean this promise...its different then the others". But Im sorry. No I cant give you the benefit of the doubt again. Not this time. See, something changed. It died in me. Ive lost hope. You will "never" change, and Im sorry but no, I wont ALWAYS be here. You see.....Ive been here. Through every "promise". Through every "I'm sorry". This last time did it, and I told you dont ever "lie" again. And you said you wouldn't, and in my heart I knew that you would. And now, as I look in your eyes and see hurt and acceptance of what you know is going to eventually happen, I'm not "sorry". Ive given my all. And there is no more to give. I doubt your every word....I dont know you. And as much as my heart longs to believe that this time it "will" be different, my heart knows otherwise. But still, a tiny piece of me hopes. That just "maybe". But my heart knows otherwise. And this time, now my mind knows otherwise. Im not a victim. I let my love blind me to your true nature. Always accepting the "I'm sorry". And you didnt believe it this time......and now your finally realizing that I cant take it no more. And I'm sorry. I'm sorry that even if you really mean it that I wont be there. Im sorry that I cant find it in me, I cant believe you. Im sorry. Im sorry. As much as I love you, I also know you. And Im sorry because you will "never" change, and Im sorry that I have to kiss my love goodbye. Im sorry. I love you, but "Im sorry". I cant.
[This message has been edited by ShelleBear (edited 02 December 2000).]

 

[Squirt]

good words shellebear. i know the feeling. promises are such fragile things.

 

[Zennie]

shelles,
i love you, sweetheart. and you are a strong, sensitive caring person. and that's what makes you incredible.
Zen

 

[Mellabopper]

how scary it is when sometimes you read your own thoughts, written by another
Mellabopper
------------------
~*~*~ meat is no treat for those you eat ~*~*~
animals are for petting!

 

[GlowDoll]

wow that was amazing. i know the feeling. *hugs* things will always turn around for the better though, don't worry!! ^_^

 

[ShelleBear]

I really appreciate the responses....sometimes it helps just to know that there are others out there that can relate....I love you guys.
Shelle

 

[cherub]

:::HUGS::: I know we talked before, and I know how strong and beautiful person you really are. Just stick to your heart and follow your dreams girl. Nothing will stop you

------------------
Just takes one angel to change a life
~~~~CHERUB~~~~
Aka: Mommyhen
~I still belive in your eyes~-Gigi D'Agostino
~~~I can be your Wendy, and you can be my Peter Pan. And we can fly to Neverneverland~~~

 

[Yoyi]

Gets tiring doesnt it. Take a deep breath...step back and decide what to do.

 

[EvoldicA]

Very good shelle, now stop hitting me with that pillow. ow.

 

[*SWeeT-e*]

Powerful stuff hun.
Stay strong.

**hugs**
~kimmy.