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i'm so tired part 1

SelectionIll

Bluelighter
Joined
Aug 23, 2002
Messages
269
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i remember, just a few years ago,
i would wake up, what ever time it was,
and have an ache in my stomach.
whether there were venitian blinds or thick drapes, the warm sun would slip through
the spaces
to lay on my floor
waiting for me to get up.
the ache wasn't painful.
i'm not going to slip a suprise ending in here, like i developed stomach cancer,
but in the morning,
a dull ache would roll around in me.
i would shake a cigarette from the pack
and strike a household match to light it
(i lived with 10 other people and never kept a lighter for long)
Jimmy G would be leaving for work
Jasons alarm would still be going off
J-Witty would be crawling up the stairs to finally put his weary bones to rest
and i'd lay there
waiting with my ache.
after all the commotion settled down
i'd walk downstairs and eat someones cereal
use someone elses milk
(i worked at a book store for $5.50 an hour and couldn't really afford food and drugs, soo)
full on sugar and cow juice
i'd sit and smoke another cigarette in front of the t.v.
watch the today show
check for the ache
still there
all day at work
ignoring the patrons
eating pages out of old books (figuratively)
holding my own hand through hard times
plucking a typewriter like a chicken
losing girls
finding women
losing women
that day
and all the rest
leading up till now
a pleasant ache
like hunger
desire
it was always there.
i'm trying to remember exactly
exactly
what it felt like
to see if i lost it
to be continued...
 
I want the next bit!!! :)
all day at work
ignoring the patrons
eating pages out of old books (figuratively)
holding my own hand through hard times
plucking a typewriter like a chicken
This is it, this is definately it... everyone who has ever worked in a soul destroying job should be able to relate to this... i know i do... hell, 4 years of afterschool customer service jobs would drive just about anyone insane... :P
 
thank you, both of you. those are very nice compliments and are certainly appreciated.
also, how often do you think i should add to this story? i don't want to drown anyone under my messy messages, so i would appreciate your personal opinion.
thanks again.
seemore
p.s. i know the aplicable rule and will abide by it, i just want your opinion on creating suspense and a desire for more of the story. i don't want to over do it, you know.
[ 30 August 2002: Message edited by: SelectionIll ]
 
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