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i'm so depressed

mrflowers00

mrflowers00

Ex-Bluelighter
Joined
May 23, 2010
Messages
3,693
Location
santa rosa, CA
i've been depressed as long as i can remember and not shit i split my milk depressed i mean i've been and am as depressed as. i've been in and out of therapy mostly in since i was 7 i'm no 23 and all the therapy and medication have done shit for me i'm so lost
 
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hang in there man..i also have depression, and i was prescribed medication after medication trying to 'fix' me.. never liked how they made me feel..foggy and not all there.
Eventually i took myself off all medication i was on, and tryed fixing it myself. Sometimes you have to change your outlook, and turn negatives into positives.
Stay strong
 
yeah that sucks but you're not hopeless. can you picture what happiness would be for you? Are there still things that would make you happy? Are there things in your life that you can change, even if slowly, that will make you feel better? You're only 23, sometimes you can't see far enough ahead to realize that the pain is almost over or that it's worth something. By having to struggle so hard just to live you will gain an ability to appreciate life for what it is, the highs, the lows, the suffering, the pleasure. Sometimes i feel so hopeless, shitty and stuck but when i get outside, when i force myself to do things around other people, i start to appreciate things. I think i enjoy the fucked up dark side of life, all the suffering, the misery, at times it makes me feel strong and like i can handle anything. I couldn't imagine going through life and everything was all cheery, happy and easy.
 
Read my answer to your other thread. Sounds like you need to meet someone who can lift your heart. I know you say you don't want a serious relationship at 23 but if you're that glum, it might really help. Also exercise is good, I'm not a depressive so can't imagine how you feel. My sister is though and she's been through some awful shit. Hang in there bud
 
i'm going to kill myself i'm just waiting for all the people i care about so much that i wouldn't want that burden on them to die
 
it is NOT worth killing yourself no matter what happens. ive tried numerous times to kill myself, but failed. im lucky i failed.
Happiness would mean nothing without sadness. if you were happy all the time you wouldnt appreciate it.
After being this sad, one day you will become happy, and it will feel great because you KNOW what sadness is, which makes happiness so much better.

Its always darkest before the dawn. After you hit bottom, it only goes up. i promise.
 
mrflowers, I'm sure that deep down you know how much it would destroy people if you killed yourself. I know how difficult it can be to see the light, trust me I do, and I know sometimes it seems like no one would care if we were gone or even that they'd be better off, but you WILL eventually realize how important you are. Please don't do this. There are so many more things worth living for, even if they seem impossible to find...there really are. Please hang in there. As opium said, it can only get better.
 
please, please dont end it that way mrflowers, i know words can mean very little from people you dont know, and theres nothing i can say that would immediately help you feel better. but if nothing else, dont end your life that way. i can promise that when you are feeling like you are, there is nowhere to go but up, and once you do go up you will have incredible perspective on life due to what youve been through, and you will be so much stronger of a person that the vast majority of us. not only that, but there are other people out there feeling like you. i dont say that to comfort you, but rather in the sense that most people cant relate to them or help them. when you make it out of this, not if but when, you could be so important to so many people. no time or experience in life is wasted. when this is over it will all have made you a very rare and special type of person. please please please hang in there.
 
i'm the least important person i've ever known all i do is drugs and watch tv in bed all day i have some hopes and dreams but even with those fulfilled i'd still be depressed
 
Mrflowers: just by chance, have you been under a vegetarian/vegan diet? Try to include some more meat in your diet, in order for your body to make your neurotransmitters you need som tyramine, tirosine, and triptofan, also, your cholesterol levels can give you a good hint, maybe your body does have a physical difficulty on producing those, specially if your cholesterol levels are naturally very low.
 
there is your problem: your diet needs to change or you'll submit to that misery forever. Start eating a variety of fruits and vegetables, minimise the sugar, keep grains to a reasonable level, and don't eat too much meat. Eat more chicken, fish, eggs, etc. Eat more coconut oil and less butter, etc. It works for me, and even then I still suffer, but not nearly as much as I used to.
 
i'll give it to you that my diet is not great for me in any way but my depression is caused by a multitude of things so much i couldn't even count
 
depression has a way of tricking your brain into thinking everything is so damn hopeless and bleak. I'm at one of the lowest of my lows right now, but the only thing keeping me going is knowing that I've been through it in the past, and in some situations knew for sure I wouldn't make it out.....but I did. One foot in front of the other, mrflowers. Just keep going bro.
 
I know the feeling. I've been in complete misery the last week or so. even when I've managed to get some sleep i'm having horrible dreams. But i'm refusing to give in, just like you are. I think there were only two minutes today where i wished i wasn't dead. That was a damn good turkey sandwich :)
 
mrflowers00 said:
i'm the least important person i've ever known all i do is drugs and watch tv in bed all day i have some hopes and dreams but even with those fulfilled i'd still be depressed
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I've never been happy either since I was 7 or 8 like you. I've spent $400 on drugs in the past 4 days and I feel worthless about it. I'm sad too and I don't find any joy in life except when I'm high. I only work part time and sit on my ass drinking and doing drugs when I'm off work. It's a phase, everything in life is a phase. Its bound to pass. What makes me happy and keeps me motivated are my dreams and finding my inner self. Forgive yourself for being lethargic and using drugs. Accept who you are and become comfortable with yourself. It works for me. and P.S. being important is overrated. Loving yourself is more important.
 
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