No offense, but you really do sound confused...
The impression I'm getting from your posts is that you're unprepared for this. I may take some heat for this, but I strongly suggest that you don't do it. I just have a feeling that you'll regret it later.
You say you have difficulty telling if it's love or lust. Here's how you can tell the difference: lust has a very strong "body component". You think of a girl's hair, her smile, her body, how she might be in certain situations. It's all speculative, and you're
high on all these hormones that keep screaming "Go for it!" With lust you're entranced with the body first, the person second. Sure, XX may have a fun personality and some interesting ideas, but that's less important than the fact that when she's near you get all "warm and fuzzy". I'm not trying to belittle your feelings; Lord knows I've grappled with them.
Love is something else entirely. True love takes the person first, the body second. Someone who truly loves you will give you respect, patience, space when need and counsel when asked, and will be ever faithful, no matter how wrecked you are on the outside. With love, it's the richness of the personal interaction that's rewarding, not just the being together. THAT's rare.
So if you want to know if you're in love or in lust with this girl, I think it's the latter. It's easy for a guy in your situation to get led around by his winkie, and when this happens you regret your shortsightedness later. I'm not being stuck-up; this has happened to me many times, in minor situations.
My point is, is that your situation could be a liability that others can exploit if you let them, and in the end they'll leave you out to dry. A sad truth of this world is that presumed "love" is war.
Not to say that this girl will do this at all--but think. You say she lives far away from you. You'll only see her once. You could have this fling, and later feel like a "man", at least for a while. However, the occasion probably didn't mean as much to her as it did to you, and the distance component will only make her feel increasingly distant as time goes on. A relationship based on love can survive across that distance. One based on lust cannot. Yet, the damage will have been done--you may mentally "latch" onto her after the experience, and find it very difficult to let go. In other words, become obsessed. Having experienced this as well, I can tell you that it's mentally and emotionally draining, and when (and if) it ends, you feel only one thing--regret.
Now this has all been hypothetical. I don't know your situation personally, but from what I've read of yours I strongly suggest you think twice before going through with this.
