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I'm scared that I will never find someone

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dman1995

Greenlighter
Joined
Mar 19, 2013
Messages
3
Im 17 and well over the last few months I keep thinking i will never find anyone that I will truly love and care about. I think im getting this because there is no girl that i have clicked with and everything seemed to be great. Do i find this person or does it just find me?
 
Hey dman, welcome to bluelight :)

I've gotta say, most people will probably laugh when they read this thread. You're 17, you shouldn't be worrying about never finding someone!
The number one rule is not to worry about finding a girl. Honestly, it sounds dumb and illogical but it's when you're not looking that it happens. Be patient, give it time, focus on yourself and on improving yourself. There's absolutely no reason for you to believe you won't find someone.
When my ex and I broke up about a year ago (I was 18 ) I felt exactly the same. I was so convinced there would never be anyone else for me, so convinced. I spoke to some friends about it and they all thought that was hilarious just because of how young I was (/am). What helped me was just telling myself over and over again that it was a completely irrational thought and it just had no basis in truth. And hey, since then I've had another boyfriend and a number of hook-ups. So there's honestly no reason to worry. Just keep telling yourself that :)
 
Wow, when I was 17 those words were not in my vocabulary (truly love and care about) concerning relationships. That might be part of the problem, relax, take a step back, and let her find you.
 
Yeah i understand i forgot to mention i had been in relationship from the age of 15 up until november time. i appreciate what you say the main reason i made the post was because i dont really want to talk about this stuff to my friends because i was scared of getting similar replies to what got here aha:)
 
If it makes it easier, im 23 and either get quoted as posh or gay, listen to bagochina.

17 is a young age, but people can grow up fast and express mature thinking based on there environments, peers and more.
 
faceplam:D

but seriously you've had a relationship and you are young and you have your whole life ahead of you.

i dont understand the logic but i do understand the fatalistic dramatacism of teen angst

you will find others as you have lots of time and many new opportunities but do realise that if you cut yourself off and believe something wont happen that that is not going to help. plus its only five months. chill
 
pofacedhoe said:
but seriously you've had a relationship and you are young and you have your whole life ahead of you.

i dont understand the logic but i do understand the fatalistic dramatacism of teen angst
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Would totally agree with having whole life ahead, but some people do feel the need to cry out there sheer loneliness and incompatibility (low self-esteem?) with the world. I know first hand cause i have done the same thing. Guess what i am saying is can relate dman.
 
dman1995 said:
Yeah i understand i forgot to mention i had been in relationship from the age of 15 up until november time. i appreciate what you say the main reason i made the post was because i dont really want to talk about this stuff to my friends because i was scared of getting similar replies to what got here aha:)
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Ah well see, that's the reason. You've just gotten out of quite a long relationship, perfectly normal for you to feel this way. Seriously don't sweat it, give it time and those thoughts will just leave on their own :)
 
You'll be fine bro.

I was in out of relationships at your age in my early twenties. Sure, they where fun and loving and I learned a lot in them, but always lacking a je ne sais quois.

I found my true love and all that at 25. Well, I found her at 20 but we was friends only... best friends however. I loved her so much but she did not want. But then, one evening, she asked me to marry her out of the blue, at 3am at rave.

My point? Just meet people, develop friendships, have fun, and don't worry cause the most beautiful, perfect awesome girl will come at the least expected time and place. :)
 
You see that was my problem, i always seen beauty before friendship with women when really the opposite wanted to develop a friendship first...!

Rangrz great reply to op
 
Ack, if that's the only spelling mistake ya can find in my posts, you're not trying very hard. :p

I'm a physics guy, not an languages type... numbers and abstract symbols are my forte. Words, not really.
 
God when i was seventeen I think I thought ALMOST the same thing, something like I will never find someone else to hook up with tonight in the next twenty minutes, ha, yeah a bit of a pig when I was young:D.. IMO I think you should concentrate on not finding this person, not because it will increase your chances of finding this person, quite the opposite. Relax. you are young, go find yourself before you worry about finding someone else. I mean you don't have to find yourself alone, but just because you get to be a part of someones life doesn't mean they have to be a part of your entire life.. Happy hunting.
 
No one is guaranteed a relationship. That's a part of life... just like realizing that the world is shit, unfair, and probably not going to change.
 
vibrancy3 said:
Would totally agree with having whole life ahead, but some people do feel the need to cry out there sheer loneliness and incompatibility (low self-esteem?) with the world. I know first hand cause i have done the same thing. Guess what i am saying is can relate dman.
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yeah but as an ex suicidal manic depressive (still gotta watch my back but for now am fine) what i'm saying is that as you get older the teenage woe is me subsides and you grow up and realise that if you sit there feeling alienated then its up to you to get off your ass and solve it. i dont fit in well a lot of the time but it doesn't stop me from doing what i want and yes isolation is the state we all find ourselves in most of the time when we dont have a family of our own/children. you have to learn to like your own company and realise that your the shizznit, cos if you dont believe it nobody else will.

@nooneanymore in this life you can deny yourself anything. the world is your oyster or your poverty and to some extent your own doing
 
it gets better dude! in the mean time, keep doing things that make you confident and happy so that when you do meet that special girl that you click with, you will be that much of a better person for both of you.
 
It sounds like you're depressed and in a stage of apathy maybe - whatever it is - don't be ridiculous. Start taking the initiative to find positivity techniques, otherwise you will be a self fulfilling prophecy. Just keep your chin up, sort your shit out - you'll have great human relationships. Honestly - you're young, anxious, naive - look into eating more sweet things, without much white sugar, but other naturally nourising sweet things (great for anxious types), and breathe. Just breathe through your anxiety - use positive self-affirmations - basically reprogramme your thinking - look up NLP.

You will succeed - just need to start helping yourself then the universe will do the rest for you, as long as you're a good person.

Love to ya
 
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