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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

I'm really scared guys

sonicwhite

sonicwhite

Bluelighter
Joined
Aug 8, 2012
Messages
2,433
Location
Oklahoma
If the klonopin is burning out on me I have no other option. My pdoc won't put me back on xanax and I really just see dark days ahead of me. I guess I'll be the guy who stands on the corner and has a board saying it's the end of the world. My anxiety is high. I feel like I have no hope. I could see a new doctor but, I really don't want to. I'm just very stress out cuz I don't want to go thru the pain that I went thru in the psychward. IDK if I'm fearing it's going to and inturn that is what is causing my anxiety with the k pin. Or it really is burning out. I guess I'm just holding onto hope that it hasn't and I'm over reacting. Has anybody else been in my shoe's?
 
Im sorry to hear that sonic white. Unfortunately as your finding out benzos are lousy for long term anxiety control. You get addicted and you build a tolerance. On top of that there are studies that suggest that they raise anxiety levels long term. I think you should talk to your pdoc about this. Are you getting any kind of talk therapy for your anxiety? Talk therapy helped me a little though its no miracle and requires a ton of work.
 
what dose of klonopin are you on? maybe try switching to valium. Sorry to hear though, i get those same feelings sometimes.
 
well that's a really low dose, i'm sure your doctor will just increase the dose if it's really not working. Or is it that you fear that some day it will just stop working completely? I don't find benzos particularly great for preventing psychosis. I find the inhibition conducive to mania, delusions and strange behavior. IME if you're going to become psychotic, you're generally not going to be aware of it, so you're probably just making yourself anxious.
 
Benzos should never be used as a long-term solution, it's a recipe for disaster and they stop working the way you want them to after a while. I suggest you try and taper off (taper! no cold turkey!). You're on a very low dose but still, don't want to take risks. I think you might feel better once you don't feel like you have a need to rely on meds to be all right.
 
You're on a cocktail of meds sonic, so please speak with your doctor about how you're feeling and I'm sure they'll make some changes for you.

Are you seeing a psychologist or doing any counselling, or just the psychiatrist?

Oh and I wouldn't recommend tapering off prescribed meds without consulting your doctor.
 
You know I snorted a klonopin and I have already done all the research which tells me that this doesn't work but, it did in my case. I feel relaxed and I also said I was done with over thinking whether the pill had stopped or not. I think that is my problem. The klonnies are working just fine I just get a fear that they will poop out on me.
 
sonicwhite said:
You know I snorted a klonopin and I have already done all the research which tells me that this doesn't work but, it did in my case. I feel relaxed and I also said I was done with over thinking whether the pill had stopped or not. I think that is my problem. The klonnies are working just fine I just get a fear that they will poop out on me.
Click to expand...

Its going to become a self fulfilling prophecy if you start abusing your benzos.
 
Ya I know. I just couldn't find any other option. I'm just at a loss of words because I'm srewed if I do I'm screwed if I don't. So it's all the same. I just wish I never picked up DXM. That drug is the very reason I'm tied up today and I just need help but in another way. I hate mental disorders.
 
Let me do the run down

Okay I have OCD. I am a scrup. I think I should be perfect morally or I'm going to go to Hell. Whats worse then that is actually believing your dead and are seconds from being thrown in hell. I have SZ affective disorder where I think cannibals are after me. I have panic attacks I have a desire to off myself because I suffer so much but I don't want to hurt my friends and loved ones. I take klonopin, luvox zoloft risperdal blood pressure med. Remron for sleep depakote. and I have to do anything in my power not to feel like crap. But thats what the DARE officer back in grade school was warning about. I didn't listen. I reap what I sow. Have lost everything once and it seems like it's happening again but, I know I'm overreacting. I just want peace. I don't want to suffer anymore. But I want to go to Heaven not hell so Christ is my anchor in this life to prevent me from doing that or I would of already done it. No one gets it. I can't stress it enough that drugs are of the devil. I guess I have to lay off the klonopin and just try to white knuckle it.
 
yeah i think you're going way overboard here. Christ will give you forgiveness so absolutely no worries about going to hell. Hell doesn't exist, it's a logical impossibility and makes no sense. I suggest doing some reading into philosophy and maybe it will bring you some comfort.

Drugs are not the devil BTW, they are just these chemical substances, they have no volition, make no choices and cannot be right or wrong in any way. I think you have some lasting effects of being massively brainwashed by religion and in some ways, society. Think for yourself, learn for yourself and free yourself from all this bullshit.
 
Hey SonicWhite, I merged your two posts together.
Try keeping your thread count down as much as you can.
Your struggles are terrifying :( I really do hope you find some much needed relief very soon <3
 
I'm really scared guys. I know most of you will say I'm being paranoid but, I maybe going back to the same jail I had a psychotic break in and I thought cannibals where after me. Now that same theme is acting up and I'm scared that someone may get me. I can care less about the OCD. Thats not really effecting me right now. Just this huge fear of dark cannibals.
 
calm down man its all in your head i gotta tell myself that all the time. i have ocd but im not scared of anything getting me i just pull my hair out. u just gotta realize what u are doing and calm yourself down.
 
sonic, why do you think you will be going back to jail?

Delusions are real to those experiencing them so I don't think it is paranoid of you to be afraid. You have to talk back to delusions--tell them that you know they are in your head no matter how real they seem. Maybe that way you can create a kind of safe zone for yourself where you are grounded by your own words.

I am really sorry that you are feeling so scared. Are there any peer organizations for people with mental health issues where you live? Where I live there is a very cool program run by clients of mental health for clients. It is a support network where people that are living with SAD, Schizophrenia, Bipolar etc. can come together to share support. Call your county mental health to see if there is anything like that where you live.

Much love and hope going out to you.<3
 
I have never taken any benzos but is there a way you can taper them down? They're not something you can just quit cold turkey as apparently the withdrawals are dangerous.

What herbavore suggested about going to a local mental health place could help. Someone close to me who doesn't have that much money did this and they found it helpful. If you need help getting off benzos see if there's a free local place where you can go to get treatment since this is not something you want to do alone or quit cold turkey.

Also it sounds very corny but if you're having major anxiety get into meditation, cardio exercise (even if it's just taking long walks daily), and when you meditate concentrate on your breathing, relax your body slowly, and look up how to do guided imagery meditation.
 
^

This. Can't stress how much exercise decreases anxiety. I have severe anxiety, was on .5 klonopin for a couple months but found that long term use does not work. Yoga does wonders, I longboard long distance, but find something that works for you.
 
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