DemonSeed
Bluelighter
Hello BlueLight,
It's been years since I last posted... I come here from time to time to read a bit. Over the last years, I have attempted three rehabs and just lately went to a detox center in New-Brunswick, Edmunston city. I have a physical addiction to benzodiazepines, opiates and psychological addiction to drugs in general. I used to do speed pills a lot but I don't do them anymore because they give me intense neverending restless legs syndrome. They also put me into so much emotional pain I can't stand it anymore. It's so bad I can barely walk the days after. I'm addicted to opiates... but this isn't my concern here because the withdrawals is short-lived (well sort of). But when it comes to the benzo.... I often call it the benzodiazepines nightmare. It seems to never end. It gives me intense chest and eye pain that just doesn't go away unless I taper down.
At the 10 days detox center in Edmunston, they said they would taper me down (the whole reason I wanted to go there before any other rehab)... they sure did! In three days... and then zopiclone for sleep. What the fuck is wrong with them? I was suffering the more and more and zopiclone didn't made me sleep but rather quite fucked up with visual and auditive hallucinations. On day 7 I begged them to give me something to calm me down because I was rather agitated... I was even crying out of pain. I went nuts and yelled a few times... the nurses kept telling me they have a protocole to follow and if the doctor found out they didn't, they would be into shit. Can't they judge by themself, think what's good or not? I was so pissed I decided to leave... well they wanted me to leave for going nuts anyway. My father was mad, he had to come down from Québec to N.-B. to catch me or a cops car would have come to get me.
Now now I came back home last sunday and I got my hand on some Ativan. 2 mg calmed me down instantly every day. Also, they were scared to give me benzo because of my low pulse (39-47)... but I took my pulse a few times and it didn't change, it actually went up to 60 and even 80 without any pain! Those people piss me off so much, they don't know a shit about benzo withdrawals insanity! And the doctor saw me for like one minute and byebye yes they will taper you down. They thought I was a 'know-it-all' but I'm not, I just read the Dr. Ashton guide for detoxing from benzo and I have detoxed in the past with this method with success.
Today I had a appointment with my doctor that they scheduled when I was in detox. But I arrive at the hour wrote on the card... to find out I am one hour late! I live in a different time zone and they knew it so when they took the rendez-vous for 13:45... they were so stupid they added an hour 14:45. I was so pissed off because I can't see the doctor before next week... and I'm not sure I can get some Ativan until then. And I don't want to suffer anymore... I have already suffered beyond belief in all those years of addiction! Sorry I just needed to vent out because as the title says I'm pissed off! Also what would be your advices on the treatments I received?
BTW I know I shouldn't have not done that, but I called the detox center and told the nurse about their incompetence and told them to fuck off. It's like they are always right, and I am always wrong. I hate how low they make me felt.
Thank you and a pleasant day
It's been years since I last posted... I come here from time to time to read a bit. Over the last years, I have attempted three rehabs and just lately went to a detox center in New-Brunswick, Edmunston city. I have a physical addiction to benzodiazepines, opiates and psychological addiction to drugs in general. I used to do speed pills a lot but I don't do them anymore because they give me intense neverending restless legs syndrome. They also put me into so much emotional pain I can't stand it anymore. It's so bad I can barely walk the days after. I'm addicted to opiates... but this isn't my concern here because the withdrawals is short-lived (well sort of). But when it comes to the benzo.... I often call it the benzodiazepines nightmare. It seems to never end. It gives me intense chest and eye pain that just doesn't go away unless I taper down.
At the 10 days detox center in Edmunston, they said they would taper me down (the whole reason I wanted to go there before any other rehab)... they sure did! In three days... and then zopiclone for sleep. What the fuck is wrong with them? I was suffering the more and more and zopiclone didn't made me sleep but rather quite fucked up with visual and auditive hallucinations. On day 7 I begged them to give me something to calm me down because I was rather agitated... I was even crying out of pain. I went nuts and yelled a few times... the nurses kept telling me they have a protocole to follow and if the doctor found out they didn't, they would be into shit. Can't they judge by themself, think what's good or not? I was so pissed I decided to leave... well they wanted me to leave for going nuts anyway. My father was mad, he had to come down from Québec to N.-B. to catch me or a cops car would have come to get me.
Now now I came back home last sunday and I got my hand on some Ativan. 2 mg calmed me down instantly every day. Also, they were scared to give me benzo because of my low pulse (39-47)... but I took my pulse a few times and it didn't change, it actually went up to 60 and even 80 without any pain! Those people piss me off so much, they don't know a shit about benzo withdrawals insanity! And the doctor saw me for like one minute and byebye yes they will taper you down. They thought I was a 'know-it-all' but I'm not, I just read the Dr. Ashton guide for detoxing from benzo and I have detoxed in the past with this method with success.
Today I had a appointment with my doctor that they scheduled when I was in detox. But I arrive at the hour wrote on the card... to find out I am one hour late! I live in a different time zone and they knew it so when they took the rendez-vous for 13:45... they were so stupid they added an hour 14:45. I was so pissed off because I can't see the doctor before next week... and I'm not sure I can get some Ativan until then. And I don't want to suffer anymore... I have already suffered beyond belief in all those years of addiction! Sorry I just needed to vent out because as the title says I'm pissed off! Also what would be your advices on the treatments I received?
BTW I know I shouldn't have not done that, but I called the detox center and told the nurse about their incompetence and told them to fuck off. It's like they are always right, and I am always wrong. I hate how low they make me felt.
Thank you and a pleasant day
